A Long Way Home
by castlefan6
Summary: Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**A/N I have always had a problem with the way the writers portrayed Rick as a weak, dependent man who was lost without his detective. He was a self-made millionaire before he met her, and in real life, NO MAN would tolerate the treatment without going down a different path. I love Stana, and the role of KB, BUT in these episodes, Castle was made to look almost like a buffoon, his life dependent upon the Detective. I offer a different approach, Sorry if you don't like it, but it's what's on my mind now.**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

_**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted**__**.**_

_**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**_

_**Previously Courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com**_

_**[CASTLE sees BECKETT leaning against a car outside, wrapped in a blanket. CASTLE walks out to her wrapped in a blanket, too.]**_

_**CASTLE  
Saw your boy's back in town.**_

_**BECKETT  
Mm-hmm. He came back.**_

_**CASTLE  
So, what does that mean to you?**_

_**BECKETT  
It means we have a chance. Come on. Fallon wants to debrief.**_

_**Later in Canon**_

_**CASTLE  
Hell of a day, huh?**_

_**BECKETT  
Hell of a day.**_

_**CASTLE  
You know, I was thinking... I was thinking maybe- I should go home. Get some rest. Long day. Goodnight.**_

_**[CASTLE backs away and leaves, leaving BECKETT a little confused.]**_

_**BECKETT  
Goodnight.**_

_**[JOSH comes up behind BECKETT. ]**_

_**BECKETT  
Oh, hey.**_

_**[They hug and BECKETT watches CASTLE walk to the elevator over JOSH's shoulder. CASTLE steps into the elevator and leans against the back wall.]**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 1**

**12****th**** Precinct Elevator **

**Going DOWN**

Kate looked over Josh's shoulder to see Castle walk away when he turned in the elevator, he kept his eyes focused on the ceiling, never looking back even for a moment. She had never witnessed the look on his face, it wasn't anger, jealousy, or even desire, it was a look of defeat, the look of a defeated man with no will to keep fighting.

She would text him tomorrow to be sure he was OK, after all, he knew Josh was her boyfriend. Mentally she was glad she didn't finish what she had tried to say to him in the freezer compartment if she had she didn't know how she could deal with Josh holding her, while she watched the one she loved walk away.

Rick's head was swimming, so close, always so close before the prize was snatched away from him. What was she really trying to say in the cold, was it "How much I always loved you" or something else?

Then when he snatched the wires with zero time showing on the timer, she was the one that hugged him, so tightly, and the look in her eyes, and her laugh, that beautiful laugh God what was he, back in high school again, get a grip.

His mind drifted back to when he first came out of the hypothermia, he saw her standing with the blanket by the ambulance. She didn't know he had wrapped her with the lining of his coat, leaving him just the outer shell to keep him warm, but that was why she was awake before him. Then his mind played those words, one by one in slow motion; **"It Means We Have A Chance",** she would never say something like that if she hadn't locked in on him as her potential one and done. God Castle, how many times does she have to tell you, she's not into you at all, at least not that way, get over it and move on for both of your sakes.

As he walked, his thoughts turned to how could he use an adult manner to exit the partnership, there was no way in Hell he could go back to just being the coffee delivery man, those apparently meant something much different to her than to him.

How? How indeed, hell, all he had was his books, and his love for the arts and charities, with an occasional poker game thrown in. Not much of a life to fall back on, work, it had to be something work-related or Beckett would see right through the excuse for what it was, a lie, and an excuse to leave her alone to live her life.

The Universe must have heard his heart rumbling from breaking into, his cell phone rang, with a number he would normally try to duct at all costs, Gina.

"Hi Gina, what's up?" he tried to be cheerful,

"Are you OK Rick? You never answer my calls, especially the first time I call and on the second ring, are you sure you're not sick?"

"I'm positive Gina, I'm fine, just celebrating life for a few minutes, thankful that I have another day"

"Rick, you are worrying the hell out of me, where are you? Have you drank too much, or what have you eaten, talk to me Rick."

"Gina, I swear I am fine, just the remnants of a tough case that was just closed, made me very thankful for all I have, so what can I do for you. You don't normally call just to check on my health, what's up?"

"You didn't answer me where are you, I'm still worried."

"Actually, I'm about a block away from Black Pawn, looking to grab a bite to eat, you want to join me if you haven't eaten yet."

"OK, that's it, something is wrong, I'm coming meet me at Bearden's, are you close to there?"

"Actually I am just walking in the door, I'll get our old booth," he said, Gina held the phone away, with panic on her face, she may have divorced him but she never stopped loving him, and this was so totally out of character, she was afraid he had suffered a breakdown.

"OK Love, see you in ten minutes" deciding to play along with his new attitude.

She hurried from her office, calling over her shoulder to cancel her afternoon appointments, and she would be out of touch for the next few hours. Whatever was going on with Rick, he needed someone, to talk to, or just to know that someone cared. She knew he would never burden Alexis or Martha; he was the strong one, helping all the family and friends.

She walked through the door, panic all over her face and was greeted by Henry, the manager, Mr. Castle is waiting for you mam, please this way, as he led her to a private room. It had been their spot when they were dating trying to avoid the paparazzi and the scandal of publisher dating one of her most popular authors. She also tried to keep his name on the eligible list, knowing many single women who couldn't read Dr. Zeus bought his books for, well eye appeal.

Rick stood, smiled, the moment he saw her, he was always a gentleman, even when they had their worst fights, he remained constant. She hurried to him, and pulled him into a hug, he felt cold, very cold, and surprised her when he kissed her gently and quickly on the lips,

"Hey, thanks for coming, I don't know if I'm in trouble or you're genuinely worried about me for some reason"

"Rick, you feel like you've been in a freezer for hours, why are you so cold? Don't you know that although I divorced you, I still love you, and I worry about you, especially when you are acting out of character, what's going on?"

Rick hung his head, realizing that Gina had tears in her eyes, and a look of panic he hadn't seen since she thought Alexis had hurt herself early in their marriage. She was sitting next to him, not the opposite side as they usually did, and she pulled his head down to look into his eyes.

"Hey whatever it is, talk to me, we were best friends once, I still think of you as one of mine, so let me help Rick, what's going on?

"Aren't you afraid the press will spoil the image, I mean I love feeling you near me, but I don't want to embarrass you"

"You're an ass, you never embarrassed me, I loved you, probably still do, but I know we are better apart so talk to me, I have an inkling I know what is wrong but Rick, let me in, I'm here, let me help."

"Well, I can't tell you everything, for the first time I really would have to kill you if I did, but this case was very rough. I was locked in a freezer trailer and had mild hypothermia, I thought I could warm up by moving, but I'm still chilled to the bone."

"Where are Alexis and Martha, I bet you sent them away didn't you?"

His facial expression answered without him saying a word,

"Let's get some food into you then we're going to the loft, I'm going to make a fire and tuck your favorite blanket around you until you warm up.

One hour later, over Rick's objections Gina was helping a very exhausted Rick into the Loft, and as promised she helped him to his chair, turned the heat up, and lit the fireplace. She went to his bedroom, and almost cried when she saw he still had her picture in her wedding gown on his nightstand. She wiped her tears away, gathered the heavy blanket he bought when she was so cold on their honeymoon, skiing the Alps.

"Really Gina, I'll be fine, thank you for caring, I mean for taking care of me."

"I do care, Rick, I never stopped caring or loving you and I never will, so I'll be here till you tell me what's hurting you so badly you didn't realize you were shaking the entire time at the restaurant."

Rick slowly told her as much as he could, but the look in his eye was the same that Kate had seen, defeat, total unilateral defeat with no hope of any chance of coming back. He told her of the general experiences that he and the Detective had gone through, mentioning that her boyfriend didn't fly out as scheduled and was the one who helped treat them both for the hyperthermia.

His eyes pooled when he repeated the words, "We have a chance" so he had decided to bow out, but didn't want to seem like a petulant child throwing a fit. While he was talking Gina came over and climbed into the chair, like she had a thousand times before, to be honest, it felt so natural and good to feel her next to him.

"Oh Rick, I'm sorry, I really am. Look, I may not say anything, but I edit the love letters you call a book to her, so I know she's broken your heart before, but this time, I think you're right, you need to get out of there and away from her. All she ever does seems to be things that you wind up in danger or hurt from."

"So was that the reason you called me Genes,?" using her pet name he had given her during their honeymoon, she was on his lap, arms around him and he was finally feeling warm, not from the external heat, but the coldness that had encapsulated his heart had melted and it was now warming as well.

She looked into his eyes, God she had beautiful eyes, and before he knew it, he had kissed her, not just a kiss, but an I want your body kiss.

"Sweetie, we both know where your heart is, and believe me, Rick, I want nothing more to take you to the bedroom and ravage your body, BUT I can't be a substitute for Kate, or for anyone, it's not fair to me or you"

"I'm sorry Genes, you're right, and even if I said it was you, I know you wouldn't believe me anyway. As you said I never stopped loving you in that special way, hell we were married, I don't make a habit of marrying women I just like."

"The reason I called you, now if we could get back to business, was there's a book signing opening in Phoenix, and throughout the west coast, Patterson canceled last minute, really pissing off the book stores, and chains. I thought if you were bored or needed a break, we could fly out there and do the Phoenix three day, just to see if it works for you, we haven't been there with Heatwave yet, it's still on the bestseller list, so what do you think?"

"I think as soon as I tell Alexis, we should get Paula on it, make the arrangements and get me away from New York for a while, further than the Hamptons, for sure."

The front door opened just then, Alexis saw her Dad and Gina in the same chair, her arms hugging him, the house felt like a sauna, and she had just heard tell Alexis? Something was going on.

"Tell me what Dad, and why does it feel like a steam room in here? Hi Gina, is Dad OK? He's been acting funny, and sent us away twice, what's going on."

"Hi Pumpkin, everything is OK, I can't tell you everything, but I got very cold, and I guess wasn't making much sense when I took her call. Gina came to the restaurant and then brought me home and made me take a hot shower and layer in clothes as she started the fire, I'm sorry it's so warm in here, but I was freezing. I feel a lot warmer now," his eyes met Gina's for a moment, and she knew he still loved her, just not enough to stay married.

She leaned up and kissed him, then turned to Alexis, "I was worried, Alexis, I'm sorry but even though we're not married, it doesn't mean I don't love him, and he scared me to death. I'll let him tell you about his experiences with the Detective, but we thought it would be a good idea to get him away from the precinct for a while, especially*"

"I agree Gina, he shouldn't be working with Beckett, all she ever does is hurt him and make him feel less of a man, I'm sorry Daddy, but whatever Gina has in mind, I'm for it, as long as Beckett is here and you are somewhere else."

"Would you be OK if I traveled with him for the first part, just to see if this tour will work for him, I promise you, I'll take care of him. The only problem is we leave tomorrow afternoon, and I know you haven't spent much time with him."

"Gina, I saw you when I came in the door, you love Daddy, you always did, so I would feel so much better if you were with him. I know he'll be OK, so please I'm fine with it, and Gina, you don't have to stop kissing him just because I am here, he still loves you too," she smiled and rushed to her Dad's arms.

Gina, Rick and Paula worked on a press release so his fans would know they were heading their way. Rick also sent an email to Roy Montgomery, copying Mayor Weldon, and Detective Beckett.

"_**Roy, Sorry to have to break the news to you in an email, but something has come up, an opportunity that I can't pass up for my 'REAL' job. I won't be in the precinct, for anytime soon, perhaps if this deal goes well, never again. Thank you for your help, you taught me a great deal about the true life of a real cop, I'll always be in your debt. Please thank the remainder of the department. Once again, sorry it had to be so abrupt, but somethings just won't wait. Good Luck and God Speed,"**_

_**Castle,**_

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**A/N Couple of reviewers have offered advice, and or ideas, Thanks, Please give this a chance to get off the ground to see where it's going, Appreciate the reads.**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

_**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted**__**.**_

_**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**_

_**Previously **_

"_**So was that the reason you called me Genes,?" using her pet name he had given her during their honeymoon, she was on his lap, arms around him and he was finally feeling warm, not from the external heat, but the coldness that had encapsulated his heart had melted and it was now warming as well.**_

_**She looked into his eyes, God she had beautiful eyes, and before he knew it, he had kissed her, not just a kiss, but an I want you kiss.**_

"_**Sweetie, we both know where your heart is, and believe me, Rick, I want nothing more to take you to the bedroom and ravage your body, BUT I can't be a substitute for Kate, or for anyone, it's not fair to me or you"**_

"_**I'm sorry Genes, you're right, and even if I said it was you, I know you wouldn't believe me anyway. As you said I never stopped loving you in that special way, hell we were married, I don't make a habit of marrying women I just like."**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 2**

**Beckett's Apartment**

**Thursday Evening**

Montgomery had given the entire team the whole weekend off, and since it was only Thursday afternoon, Kate figured she had plenty of time to text Rick. Whatever was bothering him, well she hoped he hadn't figured out her real message, what had she really said, God only knew for sure. Josh and she had a quiet evening in, dining on Chinese, and her falling asleep, waking to find him leaving to answer a page from the hospital, another emergency, typical but what could she say.

She took another hot shower, put on all her warm clothing and finally fell back to sleep as she got warm. She didn't stay asleep, the day played out in her dreams, but there were several scenarios that took turns in her dreams. The first was that Rick was shot, and died in the freezer as he tried to keep her warm, she never got to tell him she loved him.

She woke, took another drink of water, and finally fell asleep once again, only to have another nightmare. This version they were standing holding each other, she wanted to say the words so badly, I love you, three fucking words she couldn't get out, then a blast and she was alive, but he was gone, she didn't know where.

She woke again, this time all sweaty, she turned the heat back down and decided to read some, wrapped in her chair, perhaps Josh would be back before long. That thought was dashed as her phone pinged, a message from Josh,

"_Sorry Kate, this is going to be a long one tonight, I'll just crash here then grab a shower when I get a few hours sleep and call you, get some rest, you need sleep, Love Ya JD"_

Well, she had her books, her music, if she were really bored there was always the TV. She chose one of Rick's early Derrick Storm novels, she needed a story of the good guys winning after today. No matter what she tried, how hard she thought of other things, she couldn't erase the last image of Rick leaving the precinct and the look of despair on his face.

She finally gave up and grabbed her phone, hitting his number she typed out quickly,

"_**Hey, hope you're getting some rest if you're awake let me know. KB"**_

About five minutes later her phone chirped with an incoming text,

"_**I'm up, tried sleeping but dreams want to take over RC"**_

KB

"_**Having the same problem, wanted to tell you Montgomery gave us all off till Monday, I'm finally getting warmer, hope you are too. Anything you want to talk about, I'm here KB"**_

RC

"_**Nope, all good, glad you're getting warm, enjoy your time off, talk soon" **_

Kate thought his last tweet was strange, usually, he ended till tomorrow, or something positive, not talk soon, but hey after the last 24 hours she was just happy they both were able to still converse via texts. She knew Castle pretty well, and he was being overly cautious with what information he was telling her, she just hoped he wouldn't stay hurt, she loved him, but just couldn't take the chance with her heart, at least not yet. Once she had the chance to sit down with him and explain why he would understand, he always did. Now she could fall asleep, knowing that he was OK, not good but OK, so she finally fell into a deep sleep.

Xx

**Castle's Loft**

**9:00 AM Friday Morning**

The loft was a beehive of activity, Gina had spent the night in the guest room, and Paula had arrived at 7:00 AM, to plot out the logistics of the tour, what they would release to the press, and what they would hold back. Gina secretly hoped that Rick would enjoy the tour for the first three days, and agree to the full three weeks on the west coast. She had a staunch ally in Alexis, who wanted her Dad away from Beckett at any cost. She was tired of seeing him used, and in her opinion taken advantage of.

Rick stumbled from his room, in a heavy robe, and blanket draped over him, "Good Morning everyone, how did you sleep Gina?"

"I slept fine Rick, this wasn't my first time, here or in the guest room, even when we were married it was me leaving for the alternate room, guess I got to know it really well in the end" she laughed

He looked at her like he was angry, then split into a huge grin, "Touché, Madam"

"Not to get in the way of Memory Lane but Ricky we have work to do, sit down and help or get the hell out of our way, you have a plane to catch in six hours," Paula said,

"You're lucky I know how damn good you are at your job, or you wouldn't have one, MS Hass. What do you need?"

"I know Gina's giving you the option of only doing the three days, but for God's Sake Ricky, we can really gain some traction and guess at whose expense, JP would be the initials. Make those huge book chains forget about the novels he cranks out between showers, let them list you as their go-to guy. That would mean you take the full tour, what do you say, it's three weeks and Alexis has already voted yes"

"Paula's right Daddy, no sense going all the way out there for only a partial tour, especially when they are desperate and you will knock Patterson on his butt for taking his spots." Alexis knew the levers to pull, him beating Patterson at anything was always a huge incentive.

"You'll be OK, you sure?"

"Daddy, what grade am I in, I'll be in London this time next year in college, so go for goodness sake"

"Gina, can you spend that much time out there?"

"Of course, Rick, anything I need to do can be done remotely plus we have the three-hour delay so I can maybe see some of the cities rather than working in the hotel rooms, so yes, I'm in for the full tour, your call?"

"Book the entire tour Paula, BUT nothing but First-Class Air and five-star hotels, understand, no more commuter planes and center seats or I will have your replacement in your office before I get back" he stared at a contrite agent.

"Geesh, you fuck up one time, and he never forgets," as the crowd started laughing,

"OK, you guys got what you need, I'm going to take a quick shower and return a call, Roy got my text last evening and wants to talk, right after I talk to Bob"

"Rick, you got a second, I just need to speak to you in private for a quick moment." Gina looked shy

"Sure, thing Genes, the office?" as she nodded

They entered the room, he closed the door, "what's up Genes?"

"Well, I need you to know that you don't have to do this if you're not up to it. I mean yeah it would add a few zeros to the sales dollars, but right now, I'm more worried that you are OK. How do you really feel?"

Rick blushed, he knew Gina cared but the compassion she was showing surprised him,

"Gina, I'm OK, really, as long as I have you to lean on. What's new, right, It seems I made a career of doing that, you get the blame and I get the glory. I never told you this, but I wouldn't be where I am today without you."

"That's very sweet Rick, but you're far too kind, it's I who wouldn't be where I am without you. How many young female editors get fired by their uncle who owns the firm, well I was about to until you saved my ass."

"See we make a good team, I just wish, I mean eh"

"Rick, I know me too, I wish you loved me as much as her, but hey we gave it a shot, we're still friends, that's got to be something."

"If you're sure this is for you as well as me Genes, then let's do it, I've got to get some things done, but thank you, I do love you, and I know you love me, someone will figure out why we didn't work in some shrink lab for grad students" he laughed, he took his towel off, and Gina grabbed his ass, then hurried out the door laughing.

Xx

**12****th**** Precinct**

**Friday 12:45 PM**

Roy Montgomery had the sick feeling that something was wrong when he saw the body language of his friend Rick Castle as the left the precinct the day before, and now he had received this damn email.

"_**Roy, Sorry to have to break the news to you in an email, but something has come up, an opportunity that I can't pass up for my 'REAL' job. I won't be in the precinct, for anytime soon, perhaps if this deal goes well, never again. Thank you for your help, you taught me a great deal about the true life of a real cop, I'll always be in your debt. Please thank the remainder of the department. Once again, sorry it had to be so abrupt, but somethings just won't wait. Good Luck and God Speed,"**_

_**Castle**_

Roy called Mr. Mayor and thought if anyone would know what was going on, he would. The call was a shock to the mayor as much as the email had been to Roy. In fact, Mayor Weldon had the medal and accommodation all prepared for Rick, he was just waiting for a good time to schedule the presentation.

"Roy, cut the shit, what's going on in your house, is it that detective again?"

"I don't know for sure Bob, but I know she's dating some heart surgeon, and has been since Rick came back from the Hamptons with his ex-wife"

"For God's sake Roy, are you as stupid as your people are, Gina never went with Rick, he drove her home then went to the Hamptons alone after Beckett lied to him about that Robbery Detective she dated for about a minute."

"Wait, he never took Gina, you mean it was all a sham to keep him from losing face or being embarrassed?"

"Yeah Roy, glad you finally caught up, he told me how he was treated when he got back, do you know he was requested by the 54th, 17th, 26th, and CSI? You bungling idiots don't recognize a trained investigator when you see one, that's all I'm going to say except if you lose him, you damn well better keep your numbers up, or there's a special assignment with yours and Beckett's name on it."

"Bob you can't be serious, I mean I know things were bad when he came back but we were under the impression that he dumped Beckett last minute to take Gina to the Hamptons"

"Did you ever ask Beckett, who dumped who? You'll find out the true story, if she's got the nerve, to tell the truth, it seems she loves to lie to Rick"

"As I said, you're a detective, I would have thought you would have done a better job investigating the FULL story Roy, what the hell are you going to do to keep him now?"

"Bob you two are best friends, he'll listen to you more than he will me*"

"Not my mess Roy, this is yours to fix, I'm not going to try to bully him into staying, knowing Rick you're too late already, he never does anything without a plan. Fix it, Roy, I don't give a shit how, but do it," as the mayor slammed the phone down. Not a good call, in the least. Roy opened his middle desk drawer and retrieved a sterling flask, he poured a healthy amount into his coffee, cold by now, but he needed both caffeine and the liquid courage.

He dialed Rick's cell phone but as he expected he received his voice mail, even that was odd, he had changed his greeting from the happy bubbly voice, "You've reached Richard Castle, you lucky dog, you, to a much more subdued "This is Richard Castle, please leave a message and I will return your call as soon as possible"

"Rick, this is Roy, eh Roy Montgomery, I got your email and would really like to talk to you. I made the mistake of calling Mr. Mayor, and he hadn't opened his copy, and was furious, to learn you were leaving, well technically gone, look there's some other stuff I need to apologize for as well, so please call me as soon as you get this."

Xx

**Kate Beckett's Apartment**

**1:47 PM**

Kate had fought sleep all night, she woke to read Josh's text that his patient had experienced complications and he wouldn't call her till later tonight, he needed some sleep. She turned the TV on and flipped the channels till she reached TMZ, not that she loved gossip, but she loved to see who they were putting on the spot, who was cheating on who, etc. She was just bringing her coffee to the living room when she heard his name, Castle.

She turned the volume up, and there was the lead reporter saying, "Breaking news just in, Richard Castle is finally making that West Coast Book tour, the rumor is he has replaced James Patterson who canceled leaving little notice to the organizers.

If true, this would fetch Mr. Castle a pretty penny, since the tour is for three full weeks, starting in Phoenix Arizona tomorrow at 1:00 EST. We contacted Mr. Castle's Agent, Ms. Paula Haas who reluctantly confirmed that Mr. Castle would indeed be out of contact for the next three weeks, possibly longer if details she and Ms. Gina Cowell are working on with an unknown source for a massive deal.

"She was reluctant to release any further details although she did hint, it could be a global project. Ms. Cowell did confirm she would be on the three-week tour with Mr. Castle and responded to a reporter's suggestion that a reconciliation could be in order for the former Mr. and Mrs., Not happening but we could practice the honeymoon again, and then left the stage.

"There you have it, it is confirmed New York's own Richard Castle is expanding his market, in a move sure to boost sales and keep his current best seller Heatwave on the top of the charts, Back to the studio,"

Kate turned the volume down, and just stood there, why didn't he tell her? He just left yesterday; he never said a word? His text was talk to you soon? What the hell did that mean?

Just as she was beginning to grasp what was happening her phone rang, the captain's ring tone

"Yes Sir, how can I help you?"

"Kate, have you talked to Castle since yesterday? I mean I got an email, you and the mayor are copied on it, but when I called Weldon, he went ballistic. What the hell is going on between you two?"

"I have no idea Sir, what email, let me log on and I'll read it, **** "God No, what the hell is this? He never said a word, Roy"

"Well I guess it would have been hard to tell your partner when her boyfriend had staked his claim like a fucking schoolyard dog., What the hell was he doing in my precinct, he's not authorized, so who let him up?"

"I did Sir, I didn't think it would be a problem, I gave the desk permission about a month ago."

"WHAT? Know this Kate, you got my ass in a bind with the brass and you're right beside me, understand? The mayor is pissed, and now I am pissed to find out that you were the one to lie to Castle, then act like the broken-hearted jilted lover when he left with his ex-wife. Did you or did you not lie to Rick, and were you invited first to the Hamptons,"

"Sir, he asked me, I told him I was out of vacation time, then he found out Demming and I were supposed to go, but I broke up with Demming to go with him the last minute, it was too late Gina was already there. So yes, sir I lied to him, and no sir he didn't dump me for Gina,"

"Beckett, enjoy your time off, we have things to discuss, Monday, IF I'm still here" as he slammed the phone line down.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**A/N Couple of reviewers have offered advice, thanks but the story is plotted out. If it's not for you., thanks for the read.**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

_**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted**__**.**_

_**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**_

_**Previously **_

"_**Not my mess Roy, this is yours to fix, I'm not going to try to bully him into staying, knowing Rick you're too late already, he never does anything without a plan. Fix it, Roy, I don't give a shit how, but do it," as the mayor slammed the phone down. Not a good call, in the least. Roy opened his middle desk drawer and retrieved a sterling flask, he poured a healthy amount into his coffee, cold by now, but he needed both caffeine and the liquid courage.**_

_**He dialed Rick's cell phone but as he expected he received his voice mail, even that was odd, he had changed his greeting from the happy bubbly voice, "You've reached Richard Castle, you lucky dog, you, to a much more subdued "This is Richard Castle, please leave a message and I will return your call as soon as possible"**_

"_**Rick, this is Roy, eh Roy Montgomery, I got your email and would really like to talk to you. I made the mistake of calling Mr. Mayor, and he hadn't opened his copy, and was furious, to learn you were leaving, well technically gone, look there's some other stuff I need to apologize for as well, so please call me as soon as you get this."**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 3**

**Rick's Home Office**

**2:00 PM Phone Call to Mayor Weldon**

"I don't expect you to understand it, Bob, look it's time I got back to work at my real job. It's been a good ride, I learned a lot, but everything comes to an end"

"Well have you at least talked to Roy, I mean an email Rick, that's not like you to sneak out on friends, I know you better, you're running from the detective, look, I understand, but let's talk about this. You're needed there, and hell if you don't want to stay there, there are spots all over the city clamoring to get you, so what do you say?"

"I'm not running from anyone Bob, she has her life, it's time I got back to mine. Look, I have a plane to catch, so if you want me to call Roy, then I have to do it in the next five minutes. I'm not interested in working at any other place, don't you get it, Bob, I'm done. We said we would try it for three months when I started, it's been almost three years. It's time" Rick was firm in his tone, and his good friend knew he would be wasting his breath,

"OK Rick, but if you change your mind, PLEASE call me before you talk to anyone else in the city, promise"

"OK Bob, but I'm through, I've seen enough, done enough and hurt enough, so I have to call Roy, talk to you when I get back, stay safe friend," He had already begun dialing Roy's personal cell phone before Mayor Weldon heard the deadline sound.

Rick held the phone wondering just how much Roy knew about Beckett, he was sure he found out about the trip to the Hamptons, not that it mattered, he had a plane to catch.

"Hey Rick, thanks for calling back, I mean we have things to talk about, this email that your*"

"Roy, I have five minutes before I leave for the airport, sorry I didn't think I would have time to explain on a call, that's why I sent the email. Nothing you say is going to change anything, I'm done, with police work, with the 12th, and especially with Beckett and her henchmen."

"About that Rick, I wanted to apologize for how we all treated you when you came back from the Hamptons, I found out the real story. Apparently, Beckett had dumped Deming just moments before Gina showed up and wanted to go to the Hamptons with you, but when it blew up, we all assumed you hurt her, I'm sorry. We all should have asked more questions."

"No Problem Roy, look, I'm not leaving because I'm mad or upset, I have a career as an author, it's time I took care of my real job, Beckett has made her choice, so I'm not hanging around for the wedding invitation, I mean a man can only take so much, I passed that point last year but foolishly hung on with nothing but hope. I have a chance to enhance my career, sorry Roy, time's up, you take care of yourself, let Bob cool down for a few days, and don't make a stink of this to Beckett, she's only following her heart, no sin in that. I'll call you when I get back," the line goes dead and Roy hangs his head, knowing that no matter what happened, it's all a moot point. Castle is gone, and won't be coming back.

Xx

Rick is walking out of his office just as the bellmen are loading the luggage on the cart to take downstairs to the waiting limo.

"Good timing, I was going to come in to get you if you hadn't come out, Daddy, please go, have a great time, and let this start your career all over again. I'm staying at Paige's until Grams comes home, and then after she leaves back on tour, so don't worry about me."

"I'm here if she needs anything Ricky, you know I'll take care of her," Paula said, wiping a tear from her eye as she hugged and kissed his cheek, "just get out there and make us proud, I need the bonus" she tried to laugh.

Rick watched as Alexis took Gina into a big hug and held her, quietly whispering something into her ear, then kissing her on the cheek, "I will Baby, call me if you get worried, I promise you, I'll take care of him, Love you, Baby," as she kissed her cheek back.

Then they were off, Gian and him traveling together for the first time since they were divorced, the moment wasn't lost on Rick alone, Gina was quiet, glancing out the window, gently dabbing at her eyes,

"I know Genes, bad memories the last time we were in this spot, I'm so very sorry, I truly am"

"Rick, I think both of us did enough to hurt each other, I was just thinking if I hadn't been so stubborn, if I had been able to separate the writer from husband, maybe we would have worked out, it's just sad the way we killed it."

Rick reached over and pulled her into him, her head laying on his chest as she sniffled, "hey, as you said, we're still friends, and can work together, how many ex-spouses can say that? I really appreciate you going with me on this trip, I know Alexis wants me out of New York, away from the Detective, and she has a point. I've made her cry some nights she thinks I didn't know, but she's hurting for me. That's far too heavy for a 17-year-old, so Thank You."

"She loves you, Rick, hell she even still loves me, so we're lucky that we didn't poison her against each other, she's a lovely young woman. I still can't believe she's going to be in college in less than a year."

"Please don't remind me, you do know what her first choice is don't you? Typical Alexis, she's already been accepted at Oxford. How the hell am I going to let her go across the pond, I mean it would have been bad if she went to Columbia, terrible if she went to Stanford, but Gina, it's Oxford. What the hell am I going to do?"

"You're going to let her go, it's time Love, she's not the little pumpkin, she's a young lady with a great head on her shoulder, I'm so very proud of her, I know I'm not her Mom, bu*"

"Whoa, wait a minute, who said you weren't her mother? Ask her, who she calls Mom to all her friends, and it's not Meredith, she refers to her as the oven who carried the bun, or more politely the Mother, but never Mom. I thought you knew that Genes,"

Gina raised her head off his shoulder for a moment, kissed his cheek, and then placed her head back down, "I hope you don't mind this Rick, I love to hear your heartbeat, it calms me, and thank you for telling me, I couldn't love her any more than if I had given birth to her, she's my girl."

Four hours, forty-seven minutes later, they were in a limo headed to the hotel, but they had gained 2 hours in time, so they had time to have a leisurely dinner, then plan out the next day. As usual, Paula had emailed not only the agenda, but her own notes on what limo service to use, the restaurants, and where to get haircuts, massages, etc.,

"What the hell, does she think we're school kids on a field trip, it's a wonder she didn't send along a chaperon," Gina huffed a little irritated, as Rick laughed.

"She means well Gina, and you know she would have sent a chaperon if she could have, just to keep us apart, she hated when we were married."

"Was that because she wanted more than the one night before we started dating, and she couldn't seduce you into it? What? You thought I didn't know about that, one thing I never worried about Rick was your fidelity, I knew you were always faithful."

"How, I mean I was, but how can you be so sure? I mean there were some very beautiful women you fixed me up with for the social gigs,"

"Because I either paid them off or threatened them if they so much as kissed you, OK, OK. I was the jealous bitch, still am, but I understand now I have no hold on you, I'm sorry."

"What? Let me get this straight, the dates **YOU** arranged were rigged, and I would never have gotten to first base even with all my charm?"

"Sorry Sweetie, I protected what was mine back then" as she looked up at Rick to see him blush then smile,

"Well, I'll be, I thought you never cared, or at least not enough to be jealous."

"Oh, I was jealous, but I had to promote a product, which happened to be my husband at the time, looking back it was stupid, but hey everything for the company right?"

"Your Uncle would kill you if he heard you say that, I mean he really believes that, if I have heard the Black Pawn story once, I've heard it a thousand times."

"He's worse at family functions, anyway, here's our hotel, let's check-in, call me in 30 minutes to get something to eat?"

"Sounds like a plan, talk to you then, "as he watched her take a different elevator than he needed to take. Paula had been sure to book them in completely different towers of the hotel. He sent her a quick text,

"Paula, don't think either of us don't know what you did in booking the rooms, fix future reservations, to adjoining suites, or tell me when you will have your desk cleaned out and where to send your severance pay."

His phone pinged immediately, "Sorry Rick, I'll take care of it, adjoining suites from next city on", then she signed with a sad face emoji.

Xx

**Kate Beckett's Apartment**

**Friday 6:00 PM**

Kate had been floored with the news that Rick had really left, then Roy's call had made it even worse. In the last 24 hours, he had saved her life twice, and almost froze to death giving up part of his heavier jacket for her, and now he was gone. She had told Josh to stay away from the precinct, why the hell didn't he listen? She hadn't bothered him at his work, why did he think it was permissible to visit her. She knew the answer, he was jealous of Rick and thought they were having an affair. Now she was in trouble for allowing his access to the floor, God Damn him, why didn't he just listen?

She reached for her phone and hit the speed dial, "You've reached Richard Castle, I am out of town on business for the next several weeks, please leave a message, responses will be delayed. If this is an emergency please contact Paula Haas at phone number 555-567-4000, thanks for your call" and the line went to the beep sound.

"Eh, Rick, this is Kate, eh, Beckett, look I'm sorry about the way we left each other yesterday, I never got a chance to thank you for saving my life, so Thank You, look, I didn't ask Josh to come, I'm sorry he did, but I should have taken time to tell you, I, eh, well, can you call me, this is awkward talking to a" then the beep and disconnected tone sounded meaning she had reached the limit of her message. She had paused so long between trying to find the words to say, what could she say, other than please come back to me.

She checked her phone and another text from Josh, the patient had a relapse he was called back to the hospital. This was sounding a bit much, not that she was jealous, but she wanted to verify that he was there. She threw some clothes on, brushed her hair and a quick application of makeup and she was out the door headed to Mercy Hospital. She had visited him before, but never spur of the moment, and never without notice.

As the cab drove through the streets of New York Kate thought back to all the times Castle had saved her life, even from the early days he always placed himself between her and danger. He never asked for anything other than some of her time, she loved him and had for a long time, she didn't have to worry about him, it was she that would be the love-struck fool if they ever approached that topic.

She wasn't ready or so she continued to tell herself, after her Mom's death her heart was broken. It was safe to date guys like Josh, busy, not pushing her for a huge investment of time, just the way she liked, she was free to do what she wanted.

She got out of the cab short of the entrance, paid the fare and left the driver a generous tip, something Castle had always done, share it with those who have less he had said, as she walked toward the double glass doors she had a sinking feeling, almost like something was wrong but she didn't know what. She stopped just outside the door, and there was her boyfriend, being very, very cozy with a buxom blonde nurse. She observed for a few moments, then saw them go into what appeared to be a closet.

She walked in, and when the nurses saw her there was immediate panic. She flashed her badge and directed one nurse to open the door to the room her boyfriend and nurse had entered a few moments earlier. She reluctantly obeyed, to reveal Josh's ass flashing as he was screwing the big boobed nurse, one boob out, one still in her bra, and her clothes in disarray, Josh yelled,

"What the hell, this is private" he grabbed his scrubs and pulled them over his naked ass. When he turned to face an angry Beckett as he had never seen before,

"Kate, wait, I can explain, it's not what you think."

"It's exactly like I think Josh, we're done. Your shit will be at the front desk of my building, don't try to come near me, or I will blow your balls off, and give them to Big Boob Betty over there as a souvenir, the nurse hurriedly arranged herself and got out of the way of Kate and Josh.

"You had a lot of nerve questioning if Castle and I ever had an affair or if I cheated on you, the answer is no, but you know what, I should have, I should have fucked his brains out and dumped your sorry ass months ago. Don't contact me again Josh, you don't know the hell I can bring to your life if you try to screw with me, it's best for you to stay out of my sight, you pitiful excuse of a man."

She turned, walked out of the hospital and was swallowed by the night as she entered a cab, leaving a very puzzled Josh, and embarrassed nurse to deal with the internal fallout that was sure to come from hospital management. She had her own work problems, but now she was without her partner, all because she was so stupid to hold her feelings for him inside, he was gone, what a fool she had been.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

_**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted**__**.**_

_**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**_

_**Previously **_

"_**About that Rick, I wanted to apologize for how we all treated you when you came back from the Hamptons, I found out the real story. Apparently, Beckett had dumped Deming just moments before Gina showed up and wanted to go to the Hamptons with you, but when it blew up, we all assumed you hurt her, I'm sorry. We all should have asked more questions."**_

"_**No Problem Roy, look, I'm not leaving because I'm mad or upset, I have a career as an author, it's time I took care of my real job, Beckett has made her choice, so I'm not hanging around for the wedding invitation, I mean a man can only take so much, I passed that point last year but foolishly hung on with nothing but hope. I have a chance to enhance my career, sorry Roy, time's up, you take care of yourself, let Bob cool down for a few days, and don't make a stink of this to Beckett, she's only following her heart, no sin in that. I'll call you when I get back," the line goes dead and Roy hangs his head, knowing that no matter what happened, it's all a moot point. Castle is gone, and won't be coming back.**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 4**

**Barnes and Noble Book Store**

**Phoenix Az, **

**Saturday 9:00 AM Local Time**

Gina and Rick had met for an early breakfast, and made their way to the first signing event, early, quite a switch for Rick, usually, Gina was left sweating till the last second until he finally would show. The signing was to begin at 10:00 AM but by 8:30 there was already a line all around the block, and it was a big block.

"God Rick, did you see the lines, Love, if you get tired, signal me and we'll call a break, OK?"

Rick smiled, his real smile, "Thanks Genes, actually it really feels good to be back, I was worried would anyone show up at first, especially after Patterson pulled the disappearing act, I'm the sloppy seconds."

She took his face in both of her hands, pulled him close and said, "Listen to me Richard Castle, you never have been, nor will ever be second to anyone, you got that? To me, to your readers you're the reason they're here, so don't sell yourself short, please." She kissed him briefly as she let him go, "Now let's have fun today, I'd love to see Patterson's face when he sees the crowd." She laughed and hearing it relaxed Rick immediately.

"You always could do that, you always calm me down, no matter how many times I do this I get nervous, so thank you, I appreciate it."

"As you said, we always made a great team, well at work at least," and smiled back making his laugh a bit.

Precisely at 10:00 AM, Gina walked from behind the curtain to witness a line that wound all the way out the door, waiting, and clerks urgently opening cases of Heatwave to restock shelves.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm not the reason you're all here, but on behalf of all associated with Black Pawn thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your continued support. I'm Gina Cowell, yep that one, the former Mrs. Rick Castle, but I assure you, Rick and I still love each other and the work we do, so without further ado,

"Murder, mystery, the macabre. What is it about a hard-boiled detective, the femme fatale, and the cold steel of a gun that keeps our bedside lamp burning into the wee hours of the morning? However, the spell is cast, tonight we honor a master of the form and celebrate the west coast launch of Heatwave. Here he is, the generous himself, Rick Castle"

Rick walked out, stopped and kissed Gina on the lips, and strode to the microphone,

"You just heard from the brains of our outfit, Thanks Gina, no one appreciates you more than I, how about a round of applause for the lady who catches all my mistakes, and shapes some trivial lines into a book you folks continue to read, so thank you for that", as he led a round of applause for Gina. She blushed, walked out took a quick bow, then blew a kiss to Rick and disappeared.

I'm taking my position, and I ask for your patience if I need to take a bio break, you know when I started this several novels ago, that wasn't a problem", as the crowd snickered, as Rick positioned himself and starting signing copy after copy of the book, showing the patience of a saint.

Gina attended to the details behind the scene, she stopped the signing for a ten-minute break after two hours, then at 2:00 once again she broke the signing for 45 minutes and took Rick by the hand to the back behind the curtain where she had his meal all ready.

"Thanks, Sweetie, this is over and above what you should be doing,"

"Hey, maybe someday I'll make someone a good wife," she laughed, and kissed his cheek, "Eat your sandwich, and then you have time for a cup of coffee if you want it."

He just smiled and kissed her cheek back, whispering, "Love you too" in her ear so only she could hear.

The signing was only supposed to go till 6:00 PM, but Rick allowed anyone in line by then to wait, he signed every book, making a lot of fans happier than they could have imagined. Gina heard the comments, "God, he's a hunk", "He's so sweet, no one else would sign this long, I'm glad Patterson canceled" and there weren't only fans in the audience. A crew from TMZ was also there, waiting for either a train wreck or to rub it in Patterson's face, as they filmed and interviewed the woman who went ga ga over Rick.

At 8:25 PM they escaped through the back door, into a limo and decoy car to the hotel, some fangirls years ago had followed his trip back to the hotel, so Paula had started using decoys, it worked, well so far.

"God Rick, you have to be exhausted and starved, that was a hell of a first-day signing. It surpassed everything we expected. I got a text that the next five stops have ordered more copies to be sent Air, so they won't run out during your visit."

"It was fun, yeah, I'm tired, but you know how it was back when the first Storm took off, how much fun we had, I didn't realize how much work you put into these things. Thanks, I'm a slow learner"

"Speaking of that, next time you want to give me public praise, please give me some warning, I was almost in tears before you called me out, not a good image for the Bitch of Publishing"

"You're not a bitch, please don't call yourself that", as he took her hand in the limo and turned her head to look into his eyes,

She quietly responded, "OK, I'm sorry Rick, I'll stop" a quick kiss and they were now on to the next big decision, Dinner, where and what. The next signing was close enough so they didn't have to change hotels,

"How about room service Rick, I know you are exhausted, no funny stuff, as you say, I promise" Gina squeezed his hand,

"Sounds good Genes, no worries, I'm probably too tired anyway" She looked at him with a WTH look,

"When were you ever too tired?" Then she laughed, but we agreed to no funny business. They ordered and enjoyed a quiet night, talking to Alexis, and then Paula called yelling to turn on TMZ."

There stood the Entertainment Reporter, "Good evening all, well for everyone except perhaps the author who canceled this signing and shall remain nameless, per requests of many of the crowd. I want to show you the lines at 8:00 AM, now look at them at 4:00 PM, to Rick Castle's credit, he shut the line down at 6:00 PM, but continued to sign everyone who had been in line, till well past 8:00 PM. Needless to say, he has a lot of very happy fans, who are calling relatives to start standing in line at the next site, approximately 20 miles north of here.

"We were able to get the introduction, here is how the day started," they panned to a film of Gina, walking out, her introduction and Rick's acknowledgment of how hard she worked, he noticed for the first time, she actually dabbed her eye, before waving and disappearing behind the curtain.

"Well, if Mr. Castle and his ex-wife aren't on a road to reunion, they are sure making civility after divorce a case study to follow. Both could not have been more complimentary of the other" as they showed Gina bringing him water, coffee, then calling the breaks. Ms. Cowell went out of her way to ensure Mr. Castle was afforded every comfort possible, all we have to say is this tour is going to be a huge success for the fans, and for both Ms. Cowell and Mr. Castle, regardless of where it brings them, they are certainly two friends showing deep concern for each other. All we can say is Well Done, it was such a pleasure to watch today, Back to you in the studio,"

Rick looked over and Gina was dabbing her eye again, "Hey you OK? I didn't embarrass you too much did I?"

"No, of course not, I just was lost in memories, if we had worked like this, well, we've already talked about it, it just made me happy for now, sad for us back then."

"I understand Genes, but as you said, Friends, good friends with a daughter who loves us both, I think we came out pretty good, there are tons of things I would do differently, so don't take on too much, OK? Let's enjoy this tour, who knows what the future will bring"

She kissed him gently, "That sounds perfect, Thanks Love. I'm going to my room, and you don't have to walk me there, I'm a big girl", then just shook her head as he already had his key in his hand and his arm out to escort her home. When they reached her door, he kissed her gently,

"Good Night Genes, thanks for everything, this is the best day I've had in a long, long time"

"Good night Rick, Sweet Dreams Love," as she closed the door.

Xx

**Kate Beckett's Apartment**

**Saturday 6:45 AM**

Kate hadn't even pretended to go to sleep, after seeing the disgustful sight of someone she thought she knew, someone who would never have treated her this way, who was she kidding. She knew what had her more upset than kicking Josh to the curb. In reality, he could have fucked the entire floor for all she cared, it was more than what he wanted from her.

What hurt the most, as she replayed the scene, Josh coming up from behind wrapping his arms around her, clearly marking his turf, as Rick walked away, that look on her face she would never forget, and then all that had happened since. Not only had she lost Rick, but she was also in Roy's doghouse, all because she tried to make Rick jealous, or show him that she could get someone too, what the hell was she thinking, if at all.

She had just had the locks changed, sent a box with the few things of Josh's to the desk, with the instructions to call the police if he tried to approach her apartment. She flipped on the TV, still set to TMZ channel, and was intrigued with the teaser the announcer threw out.

"Coming up at the top of the hour, we'll have the results of the first day of the West Coast book tour of New York's own Richard Castle, to say it's surprising, well just tune in and watch for yourself, coming up at the top of the hour, in about 11 minutes"

Kate hurriedly made her a cup of tea, coffee wasn't appealing to her at all, she needed caffeine, but didn't want to think about the coffees, they were just another memory she was going to have to get over.

As promised the top of the hour came and the TV Reporter once again appeared, she turned the volume up to see the clip that Rick and Gina had watched the night before, she wasn't shocked at the crowds, she knew just how popular he was. What was a surprise was the interaction between Gina and him? She was overly kind, well based on what Kate had seen other than the summer a year ago, and Rick went out of his way to thank her and credited her for putting the tour together at a moment's notice.

The announcer was correct, they were being extremely polite to each other, hell who was she kidding, she saw the love in Gina's eyes towards Rick thousands of miles away. He had never spoken of her in such glowing terms as he had at her introduction, they never got along this well. Could it be possible that they were giving it another shot? Hell, Rick loved her, really loved her but somehow, things didn't work out.

She kicked herself, just another thing that she had no clue of what went wrong, even though they imploded in front of her last year, she hadn't even offered him an ear to talk to, some friend, much less partner. Heatwave, the book she pretended to hate, could be the one thing that would take her Castle away from her forever. Gina and he had three weeks together, and if that was day one, she gave them three days before they were screwing like bunnies.

She shuddered with that thought, but why? Why did it bother her so much what Rick was doing? Hell, she had rubbed Josh in his face from the start, and left no doubt they were sleeping together, to his credit, Castle never asked or commented on her after-hours life. It was actually Karpowski who called her out on it,

**Flashback to two weeks ago **

"Look, Kate, no one is happier for you than I, don't get me wrong, it's great to see you with a man again, but you know you should really lighten up around Rick, he doesn't need to hear what a stud your Doctor is, or how many times you guys got it on, he would never do that to you.

"I remember you going nuts when he had a tryst with a starlet came on to him, even though you guys weren't even dating, so do me a favor, it's hurtful, and Rick is my friend. I don't know why you want to hurt him so much, but none of my business. Just lighten up a bit, as I said, Rick's my friend."

**Present Day**

God, had she done anything not to chase him away, what a fool. She thought back to how low she had felt the day they dealt with Kyra Blaine's wedding murder, she had always been first in his life, well it was clear that Kyra still had part of his heart years later,

**Flashback (From Dust Jackets)**

CASTLE  
We met in college. We were together for nearly three years.

BECKETT  
I didn't ask.

CASTLE  
Yes. You were not-asking very loudly.

BECKETT  
She's different from your ex-wives.

CASTLE  
What do you mean?

BECKETT  
She's real. I didn't think you went for real. Tough breakup?

CASTLE  
It was a long time ago.

**Present Day**

He never confirmed the tough breakup part but she could tell, this was someone he really loved and had tried everything to save the relationship. The fact he didn't want to tell her the details didn't matter, he never asked about Sorenson, so why should he tell her any personal information.

She had to find something to keep her busy, no Castle, no Josh, and Lanie was off on a booty call with Javi at the mountains as if everyone didn't know. She cleaned the apartment, twice, even scrubbing the floors, and doing four loads of laundry, cleaned out the Styrofoam temple from her refrigerator, made a grocery list, Wow, it was 11:19 AM now what the hell was she going to do?

She knew she better have her story straight for Roy on Monday, it was seldom he ever questioned her, much less raised his voice or hung up on her, Weldon must have really chewed his ass out, and it was her fault, the boys just followed her lead. Anyway, she put it, it was going to be a long weekend,

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

_**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted**__**.**_

_**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**_

_**Previously **_

"_**Well, if Mr. Castle and his ex-wife aren't on a road to reunion, they are sure making civility after divorce a case study to follow. Both could not have been more complimentary of the other" as they showed Gina bringing him water, coffee, then calling the breaks. Ms. Cowell went out of her way to ensure Mr. Castle was afforded every comfort possible, all we have to say is this tour is going to be a huge success for the fans, and for both Ms. Cowell and Mr. Castle, regardless of where it brings them, they are certainly two friends showing deep concern for each other. All we can say is Well Done, it was such a pleasure to watch today, Back to you in the studio,"**_

_**Rick looked over and Gina was dabbing her eye again, "Hey you OK? I didn't embarrass you too much did I?"**_

"_**No, of course not, I just was lost in memories, if we had worked like this, well, we've already talked about it, it just made me happy for now, sad for us back then."**_

"_**I understand Genes, but as you said, Friends, good friends with a daughter who loves us both, I think we came out pretty good, there are tons of things I would do differently, so don't take on too much, OK? Let's enjoy this tour, who knows what the future will bring"**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 5**

**12****th**** Precinct **

**Monday 6:00 AM**

Kate had left early trying to get to the precinct before Roy's typical 6:45 AM arrival but when she stepped off the elevator, she saw his light on and knew it would be minutes before she would be facing one pissed off Captain. She approached as quietly as possible but she hadn't set her purse down until she heard,

"Beckett, my office now" in a tone she hadn't heard in a long time, never directed to her.

"Yes Sir, just let me get my purse and coat put away,

"Hurry up, I don't have all day" he barked

"Sir, Yes Sir"

She was glad she had stopped at the coffee hut to grab a cup of coffee, something told her she was going to need it.

"Sir, you wanted to see me," she said as she knocked on his door a few moments later,

He looked up, for the first time Kate saw actual disdain for her,

"Sit down Detective"

"Sir Yes Sir,"

"Have you done any thinking over the weekend about what the hell happened here? Why the hell would you add a fucking surgeon to a cleared list to the homicide floor no less, do you know how many regulations you broke?"

"Sir, I've done nothing but think, since your call and I read Rick's email, I texted him but got no indication that he was leaving, especially with Gina, but that's his business"

"Oh, so you can bring your Fuck Toy right into our house, and he isn't supposed to go anywhere even for business with his editor, who just happens to be his ex-wife? Do you have any idea of how hypocritical that sounds Beckett?"

"That's not what I meant Sir"

"Really, it's what you said, what's the status of you and this Doctor, have you revoked his privileges to the precinct, not just our floor but the entire God Damn Precinct? If not Why Not and when will you?"

"Sir, it won't be an issue sir"

"That's not what I asked Detective, did you or did you not revoke privileges?"

"No Sir, I am doing it as soon as this meeting is over, Sir"

"Let me save you the trouble", as he hits a button on his phone, he has it on speaker, soon she hears 12th Precinct, Sargent Logan speaking,

"Logan you dumb ass, you still can't tell an inside call from one coming from the outside? This is Montgomery, check your list of authorized personnel to the precinct and the homicide floor,"

"Yes Sir, one moment sir, yes sir, what name would you wish edited,"

"Do you see a Doctor Davidson, Josh Davidson?"

"Yes Sir, Detective Beckett gave specific instructions for him sir,"

"Well I'm giving you even more specific, do you understand Sargent, or do you want that to be patrolman?

"Yes Sir, I mean no sir, I understand sir, what are your instructions"

"Block the bastard, unless he shows up as a suspect or with an attorney answering a subpoena he is NOT to be allowed in my house, is that clear, or do you want me to come down and spell it out for you"

"He is now blocked sir, my apologies, but sir, can you inform Detective Beckett, she was adamant when she gave me the instructions."

"Sargent Logan, this is Beckett, I apologize for placing you in a bad position, I'm aware, please follow the Captains orders."

"Very well Detective, Captain, is there anything else sir?"

"Just learn the fucking phone system, you're an embarrassment, as Roy slammed the phone down"

"Sir, I'm sorry I put Sargent Logan in such a bad position, I accept full responsibility for that"

"You're God Damn right you do; we'll get to that in a minute. Do you know how many phone calls I've had with the Mayor since Friday, of course not, I let you enjoy your weekend, 11 fucking calls, at all hours, he's pissed, and Beckett, he has special assignment titles for us both, so you fucked up big this time."

"Sir I'm not sure why the Mayor or even you are so angry, I mean what did I do that would piss you both off so badly."

"He found out about the lie you told Rick, Gina didn't go to the Hamptons as he told us, it was just to save face after you lied to him, then broke up with Demming thinking Rick would welcome you with open arms, when you saw Gina, you let us all believe that he had thrown you aside to be with her, that Beckett is a lie of omission.

"Mr. Mayor also found out Rick was almost shot and treated worst than Vulcan Simmons when he was arrested for the body you found when he came back. And before you get all pissy, Rick never said a word, it was one of your own who blew the whistle, tired of you getting away with breaking regulations. That cost me a letter of reprimand, placed in my file, I'll be lucky to have it removed before I retire, or it will impact my pension, so thanks a lot Beckett."

"Sir, I don*"

"Stop Detective, you are hereby suspended for three weeks without pay, a letter of reprimand will be placed in your file, any repeat of this infraction will cost the loss of rank and possibly employment. Place your shield, your gun, and keys to your car on my desk, then get the hell out of my sight**, NOW** detective"

He turned away, not even looking as Kate's face turned from pale to a crimson red, fighting back the words of Fuck you I quit, she thought them but didn't say them, as she placed he items on his desk, then turned and left, not even stopping to turn her computer off. The coffee she had purchased was thrown in the trash. She ran into Ryan and Esposito on her way out,

"Kate, hey what's up, Kate, is something wrong?" Ryan called out, but she kept on walking,

She heard Montgomery bellow, "Esposito, Ryan, my office now" as she went down the stairs, and out the front door. Now what the hell was she going to do, three-week suspension, she thought she would get yelled at, maybe even a few days off, but three weeks and a letter of reprimand, Roy really threw it to her.

She walked, fighting back tears, she didn't know how long or how she got there, but she wound up in a small park across from a Barnes and Noble bookstore. They had placed a cardboard cutout of her and him trying to cash in on the west coast tour of Heatwave. She paused for a moment, then walked across the street and sat down in a swing, the park was empty, just as she felt inside. The tears finally won the battle, as she remembered just how good she had it, If Only.

Xx

**Castle's Penthouse**

**Phoenix Az **

**Monday, 6:00 AM Local time**

Rick had been up for a few hours, feeling more like himself than he had in years. Two book signings two rounding and explosive successes, he couldn't ask for more. Today's signing didn't start until 1:00 PM but they had about a two-hour drive, so he wanted to give Gina plenty of time to do her magic. Gina had been just as sweet as she was the day, he met her, there was no chance that either of them would or were in any emotional state to even contemplate dating, much less getting back together.

He dialed her room number, and was surprised when she answered on the first ring,

"Good morning Rick, how long you been up?"

"Good morning yourself beautiful, about two hours, I couldn't sleep and I wanted to give you time to do your thing today. I'm all checked out, luggage is on the way down, how about you?"

"I have a table for us in the restaurant, private table, so come down, let's get breakfast and then get on the road if that's OK with you Love" the pet name slipped out more and more, not because things were becoming romantic, but the ease of just liking to be with someone was actually setting in.

He truly enjoyed being with Gina and missed her when they were apart. Maybe it was the game of games with Beckett for the last three years that had him looking forward to a more predictable outcome, whatever it was he was enjoying this trip more than he could have imagined.

As soon as he stepped inside the restaurant, he saw her, God how could she be this beautiful at 6:00 in the morning. As he approached her, she looked up and greeted him with a big smile and patted her side of the booth, for him to sit. He obeyed, she kissed him quickly,

"Good Morning Love, how you feeling, you let me know if you get worn out or need anything will you, promise me please?"

"Thanks, Genes, I'm fine, actually, I'm more than fine, I was thinking this is the first book signing I am actually enjoying most parts of it"

"Most parts Rick? What can we fix?"

"Well, I enjoy the entire day then, well you'll think it's a come on, but I miss you when you're gone, I always loved laying on the couch my head in your lap, just talking, as I played with your ring or hair,"

Gina looked down for a minute, and Rick thought he had overstepped,

"Looks Genes, I'm sorry, I shoul*"

"I was thinking and remembering the same things too, that's why the tear Rick, it's not because I hated it, I loved those days with you and sometimes Alexis would come in and scoot between us, those were my favorite times, our family times."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought up a memory that makes you cry, it's just I feel so at peace, and please don't take this wrong, you're hotter than you ever were, but if I had to trade this for sex, I would give up sex, it means that much to me, I know that sounds like a man coming on to you, but"

"Love, I know what you mean, I love the freedom between us, I know your heart isn't free to give, and we both know that we can love each other, but never be right for each other's spouse. I don't want to risk what we have now, so Rick, no matter how much I love you or want to, no funny business, deal?"

Rick smiled at her, "You do know how hot you are, and are you sure you don't want to try the physical part at least once more?" he waggled his eyebrows at her

"That's the problem, Rick, if it was once, I wouldn't be able to stop, and when you move on it will hurt more than it will now, so as much as I ache for your touch, no Love, we can't."

"Well, just know that as much as you want me, I want you more, but I agree, we can't start down that path, I think you will find someone who deserves you soon, and well, I want to be able to walk you down the aisle when that day comes," Rick smiled, as he held her close, it was nice just to have her there, and neither were willing to cross the line that could ruin a beautiful friendship,

Xx

**Los Angeles California**

**Gold Emblem Book Emporium**

**Tuesday 9:00 AM**

**TWO WEEKS LATER**

This was it, Rick couldn't believe it, only 4 more days and his complete tour would be over. Normally at this point, he was so homesick, tired, and disgusted, he was only half himself, and couldn't wait to have the tour end, but this trip was different. He wanted to see Alexis again, but he was also sad that the time he and Gina had spent together was ending.

True to their agreement, nothing happened between the two, physically, only kisses here and there, but Gina was more protective of him and made sure he had sufficient breaks and rest. She told him at breakfast this morning she had a surprise for tonight, so they needed to get out of the signing on time.

The crowds continued to grow with each city, Rick had already publicly promised he would publish at least one more book in the Heat Series, perhaps two, but was adamant he would not return to the precinct or working with the Detective as he called her now. This was financially his biggest success, and he was in line for some prestigious awards, not that he cared.

He had regained the reason why he started writing in the first place, to tell a story to people and hope they would like it. Everything else was just byproducts, he got caught up for a while but now felt like a new man. Needless to say, his voicemail was full of messages from a New York Detective, and he had an entire folder of unread texts. He had assigned rules for anything coming in from her to be moved to a folder, someday he would get to them, maybe, but it wasn't a priority.

He was enjoying his life, his career, and his renewed relationship, even as sexless as he had joked it was after his divorce and still remained, with Gina. She had become more than an EX, or a publisher, she was his best friend and mother of his daughter.

Two hours into the signing, Gina appeared as she had grown accustomed to, kissed him briefly and handed him a cup of coffee as she did crowd control as he took his Bio break. Once he had finished his coffee, he returned, kissed Gina again, as she opened the line up again, it was their normal routine.

The paparazzi had tried to make something out of the kisses, but Gina and Paula had it shut down almost at once. Gina laughed when she reported to some mainstream reporters, "I told the jackass's Rick and I weren't getting back together, just practicing our honeymoon for three weeks," which shut down the pictures. It had just been accepted that they were kissing ex's as someone titled them. It didn't matter to either of them, they both were having the time of their lives, and were happy to have regained a friendship they thought was gone.

Xx

6:45 PM Cerrito's Restaurant.

Gina had shut the signing down to ensure they made their reservation; she had been acting funny all day. The kisses on the cheek came from nowhere, and then when it was time to go, she took his hand and didn't let go, till they were in the limo.

"Genes, are you OK? Not that I'm complaining, but I've been kissed on the cheek more today than any day on the tour, you sure everything is OK?"

She laid her head on his shoulder, looked up and said, "Sorry Love it's just I don't want this to end, I don't want us to go back to New York, and pick up the old lives. I regained something I thought I had lost forever, your friendship and this trip has been both productive, and a ton of fun.

"I know, I feel the same way, I'll promise you this, we won't go back to the old us, we'll just build from here, Deal?"

"Deal," she said as she kissed his gently, as they arrived at the restaurant. He had a feeling something was up, but when he walked into the private room, and saw his Pumpkin, running towards him, he almost lost it.

"Daddy, it's so good to see you again, I've missed you. I have to say, you look great, you look, happy, really happy for the first time since I can remember"

"Thanks, Sweetie, I am happy, it's been a great tour, and getting my priorities straightened out again, well that and remembering friendship really made me feel a whole lot better. What are you doing here anyway?" Just then he noticed Paula, with a birthday cake, and candles, walking out.

"If you think you're going to escape being embarrassed after what you and this one, (hugging Gina) did to me last year, you're nuts. It's your birthday and I know you told Alexis to just wait till you got home, but it's not the same, so we wanted to surprise you."

Gina leaned in and kissed his cheek, whispering something to him, he blushed, "Gina, please our daughter is here" as she howled,

After dinner and cake, they were all sitting around laughing and talking when Alexis said,

"Daddy, Gina and Paula do have a surprise for you, they want to talk about."

"Ricky, you know we love you, and would never do anything to hurt you, remember when you turned down that offer to write for a certain British Secret Agent a few years ago?"

"Of course, I do Paula, I turned it down, and was sorry less than two weeks later, but things happen for a reason"

"They sure do, we have a new offer I just received, three times the money, more control, it's a five-book deal, I guess they tried another author and the last two books had so much red ink they thought they had lost the company.

"They want to talk to you about it and get this, they want to talk to Gina about the American Operations, so if you took the deal, she would be the US Representative you would be working with, that is if she takes the job"

Rick is speechless until Gina comes over and blows gently in his face, "Love, it's just an offer you don't have to even discuss it if you don't want to, OK? I'll be fine either way staying at Black Pawn or heading up U.S. Operations of Fox Run Publishing, no pressure, OK?"

Rick fights back the tears, and said, "Thanks for the best birthday I could have, of course, I want to do the books, and if Gina is heading the US operations that means it'll be done right. Paula are you OK with this?" he noticed she was the quiet one in the group,

"Of course, Ricky, it's just that if you take the deal, well they'll supply you with an Administrative Assistant that means you won't need me."

"Are you crazy, of course, I will still need you, and Gina has to figure out how to publish two more Heat books before we finalize anything, they are both about 90% complete, and I know where to take them now, so I can wrap them up in a month or less."

"Well look who's full of surprises", as Gina lit the candles and started the singing, when the song was over Rick blew out the candles kissed all the ladies, Gina maybe a little longer than normal and then they sat and enjoyed the great news and cake."

Life was good Rick thought, even though he knew that Gina and he would forever be only friends, she was now his best friend, someone he knew he could trust, not like the Detective, whatever mess she was in. Bob had called twice, and he had to interrupt him and had told him flat out, no shop talk, especially about her, so he switched topics. This trip had been a changing point in his life.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

_**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted**__**.**_

_**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**_

_**Previously **_

"_**Mr. Mayor also found out Rick was almost shot and treated worse than Vulcan Simmons when he was arrested for the body you found when he came back. And before you get all pissy, Rick never said a word, it was one of your own who blew the whistle, tired of you getting away with breaking regulations. That cost me a letter of reprimand, placed in my file, I'll be lucky to have it removed before I retire, or it will impact my pension, so thanks a lot Beckett."**_

"_**Sir, I don*"**_

"_**Stop Detective, you are hereby suspended for three weeks without pay, a letter of reprimand will be placed in your file, any repeat of this infraction will cost the loss of rank and possibly employment. Place your shield, your gun, and keys to your car on my desk, then get the hell out of my sight, NOW detective" **_

_**He turned away, not even looking as Kate's face turned from pale to a crimson red, fighting back the words of Fuck you I quit, she thought them but didn't say them, as she placed he items on his desk, then turned and left, not even stopping to turn her computer off. The coffee she had purchased was thrown in the trash. She ran into Ryan and Esposito on her way out,**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 6**

**Kate Beckett's Apartment**

**Same Time Frame, (Two weeks into her suspension)**

Kate had been surprised by the punishment when she had stormed out of the precinct, almost vocalizing the words she had been thinking, (_Fuck You, Roy, I quit_) that would have ended her career as a Police Officer. The more time she had to think about things, the more she was glad that she had just left keeping her mouth shut. This had to be tough on Roy, and she was sure he was really catching hell from the Mayor, especially as close as he was to Rick.

She was still troubled with Rick's departure, he just left, no fight, no notice, nothing to give his hand away. She had followed the interviews with Gina, and he along the tour, and if she had to bet, she would wager a month's salary that they had reunited, or at least in the bedroom.

She had never seen him so happy, the smile, not the fake one for the crowds, not the one he smiled for her when he was happy, but one that showed like a commercial for a tooth whitening product, usually when he was looking at Gina. The touching, by them both, it seemed like Gina couldn't get close enough to him, and he was always holding her hand it seemed.

God what a mess, just a few short weeks ago, she was clinging to life, almost professing her dying love for him, as they survived impossible odds, including almost being frozen to death. The bomb nightmare still haunted her, even though she had been gone for the last two weeks, trying to get away from everything and everyone. She had gone to the Virgin Islands, using Rick's Christmas present from last year. She was reluctant because it was for a party of two, the chance of her finding someone she would go with now was less than slim to none.

The country was beautiful, the weather warm, and certainly enough hunky young men she could have tried to screw his memory away, but she just couldn't, no matter how attractive the offer was she declined. On one instance a Romeo wouldn't take no for an answer till she had him on the ground, waiting for security to handcuff him and haul him away. It got around then she was a cop and probably lesbian so don't waste your time. How lies and rumors started was just amazing, then she remembered another one she was guilty of.

Another lie she had let Rick believe, earlier in the year, she and Josh had gone to Hawaii, and when Rick thought she had used the voucher he gifted her, she didn't correct him. They had used the points from Josh's DWOB flights for the last several years, she would never use something that was as close to her on another man, yet she allowed Rick to think he had paid for their week-long Fuck Fest, as Lanie relayed from Esposito.

Well, she had managed to call him only 10 times the first week, down to 7 last week, and well so far this week twice but it was only Sunday. She didn't know if he was even getting them or not, none had been responded to. She also texted him often, well again she tried to cut down, but she knew he had rules set up on his phone, she had seen him ignore other communications before.

She felt certain that he had just deleted or skipped her messages and texts, it was very clear that he wasn't going to answer any of her attempts to talk, she had to face it, as tough as it was going to be. She had a career before the writer, she would have one, if he continued to ignore her, who needed him, yeah, right, Kate. That's why she cried every time she saw Gina standing next to him, holding his hand, or worse kissing him.

She had to kill this week then go back to work and keep her mouth shut, do her job just as she did when she joined the force, she couldn't change anything that had happened, she swore she wouldn't contact him again. As she was sorting her mail, she realized today was his Birthday, God Damn, it why hadn't she set a reminder. She could have at least sent something nice to the Loft for when he returned in 4 days, right, she wasn't counting. What should she send to a partner who thought you hated him and had broken his heart so badly he wouldn't return a phone call? Did Hallmark have a card that said I Fucked Up, Forgive Me, not likely but she had to do something.

She left her apartment, in search of something special, something that would make him know just how much she cared. What had he told Roy to get Evelyn, oh yeah, something she had said she wanted when she thought he wasn't listening? That part would be easy, she listened to him but made all appearances that his conversations were the least important thing of the day. She didn't have a great deal of time, so anything engraved or personalized was out, then she thought, hell he was worth a chance.

She grabbed her phone, gun, badge, and wallet and hurried out the door to the Barnes and Nobel, near Elm Street swings. There was a private book collector who was open, well when he wanted to be, since he was almost 85 years old, but if anyone had something special it would be him. He was only a few doors down from B&N, with her silent prayers being sent up, she hurried from the cab, and was in luck. Abe, the owner, smiled at her when she came in,

"Afternoon Mam, Where's Mr. Castle, haven't seen him around much lately."

"Eh, Afternoon Abe, Castle's on the West Coast for a book tour, he'll be home in a few days."

"Good to hear, he's missed, always love to chat with him when he comes in, one of the nice guys, no matter how much money he has. Hard to find today, everyone is so damn mean to everyone"

"You're right Abe, say, I could use your help, you've talked to Rick, I mean Mr. Castle, well today is his birthday, I wanted to get something he liked, but wouldn't buy for himself, did he happy to mention anything to you?"

"Let me see, you know he's never big on talking about himself, but he did mention that I had one book he would die for,"

"Really, Abe? Which one?"

"I got it in an Estate Sale, think I paid $500 for the lot, the poor lady didn't know what she had"

"And what was that, Abe, was it the book Castle loved?"

"Yeah, it was first edition Casino Royale (1953), I think it's numbered lower than 100, meaning it really was the first edition."

"Why didn't Mr. Castle buy it, Abe?"

"Oh, he tried, lots of time, but I told him I was saving it. He asked me for what, I told him I would know when it happened, but for now I couldn't sell it."

"Do you still have it, Abe? I mean what condition is it in now?"

"Come with me Detective, I want to show you something," They entered a room, where the walls were ceiling-high with atmospherically controlled bookshelves, he walked over and pointed.

Kate peered in, there looking every bit as new as it was the day it was published in 1953 was Casino Royale in Hardback. Kate gasped, "Oh my God, it's perfect Abe."

"Yes, it is. Like I said the poor lady didn't know what she had, I tried to pay her, she wouldn't have it, she told me, they had made their money, it was my turn."

"Well, I would love to buy it for Rick, but I'm afraid I don't have that kind of spending money, plus, I wouldn't want to take it out of that bookcase, even if you would sell it, I mean would you, and what kind of price?"

"You said it was Mr. Castle's birthday, did you?"

"Yes, he's in Los Angeles but will be home Friday."

"Well, why don't you give me $500 and don't tell Mr. Castle what you paid. As far as taking it out of the case, I have his contact information on file, I can give him a call and tell him to arrange for a special birthday present to be delivered when he gets back."

"Abe, really $500, I couldn't steal it from you for that price, really why are you doing this?"

"As I told you, Mr. Castle's one of the good ones, he doesn't think I know but he paid my hospital bill last year and guaranteed my creditors, I sat down and cried. Why would a stranger do that, then I remember what he said, once, 'It doesn't matter how much you accumulate in life, it's how you use it, and how many people you can help that counts.' He really lived by that. I told him I would know when it was time, today it's time, I won't be here forever and I want that gem to go to someone who will love it as much as me."

"Well Abe, I can tell you, that will be his most prized possession, I can't thank you enough. I'd like to take a picture of the book, and send it in the card, maybe he can forgive me if he sees how much I care about him"

"Oh, lover's spat?"

"I wish, a long story Abe, I screwed up this is just a down payment for everything that man has done for me, I just hope he will accept my apology."

"He doesn't seem to be one that would hold a grudge as I said, he's good people."

"Thanks, Abe, I have to get over and get his card, thank you so very much for your help, you saved the day, as she pulled the bills from her purse and handed him 5 crisp $100 Bills. She took her phone and snapped three pictures of the book, and then hurried to have them printed out to add to his card.

She searched the cards forever, she didn't want to scare him, but she did want to let him know he was more than just a partner, at least she hoped he felt that way, or she could convince him. She finally found one, that was as close as she was going to come,

_**Dear Rick,**_

_**You are always thought of**_

_**In a VERY SPECIAL way**_

_**And you're wished**_

_**Love, Luck, and happiness in life,**_

_**Today and every day,**_

_**HAPPY BIRTHDAY**_

She enclosed the best picture that she had taken with a note saying simply _**Rick, expect a call,**_

Always,

Kate

She hurried to the Loft and entered, glad she saw Eduardo behind the desk, as she approached,

"Hello Miss Kate, how can we help you, I'm afraid Mr. Castle is out of town"

"Hi Eduardo, thank you, I realized he is still on the book tour, but today is his birthday and I didn't want him to think I forgot, can you hand-deliver this to him when he returns Eduardo, it's very important."

He smiled sadly, "I understand Miss Kate, I'll deliver it to him as soon as he returns, "

"Thanks, Eduardo, you're a lifesaver," as she turned and left, headed to the coffee shop across the street, she still had to do one more thing, she didn't care if he listened to it, or not, but she was going to wish him a happy birthday, by voicemail and text, he had been a pain in her ass, when he wanted something, so it was her turn.

She dialed his number before she went into the coffee shop,

"_Rick, it's Kate, I get it, I know you're dodging my calls, but look, I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, please check with Eduardo when you return, I didn't forget, I guess I'll talk to you when you're ready, Call me anytime, once again, I'm sorry, sorry for everything, I care about you Rick, more than you know, so I guess goodbye, for now, call me. "_

Then the machine turned off. She promised herself she wasn't going to shed a tear, and she fought hard to keep that promise, but something about the sadness in his greeting just hit her, and she sobbed. She walked around the entire block to give her time to compose herself. Finally, she went into the coffee shop and was hit again, the barista asked,

"Hi, do you want what Mr. Castle always orders for you, or something else?"

"The usual, what Mr. Castle orders will be fine." She made her way to a booth, took out her cellphone and typed out a text to Castle,

"Happy Birthday Rick, I left you a voice mail, yes another one, if you want to get rid of me please just text or call back and tell me to go to hell, something, I'm so sorry, you're hurt, angry, and I made a mess of everything, but today's your Birthday, so call me when you can, and have a good Birthday, I miss you, I miss us." She sent it without even re-reading it, she was tired of playing it safe, what the hell, he wasn't reading the damn things anyway.

She took the beverage and started walking home, why hurry to be greeted by four lonely walls in each room. The two weeks away were nice, but they only delayed thinking about her real problem, why did she always shut Rick out, and if she had gone to far this time, how was she going to live her life without her partner? Good questions, so far nothing but crappy answers.

She finished the drink, and dropped the cup in a trash can, almost symbolic of what she had done to her and Rick's friendship, much less the chance for anything more. As she entered her apartment, she felt her cell phone vibrate, she panicked grabbing it out and answering it without looking at the caller ID.

"Beckett," she said excitedly

"Girl I'm going to just come over and beat the hell out of you, you've had us all worried sick, where the hell have you been?"

"Oh, hi Lanie, I'm sorry"

"Oh, Hi Laney? Who the hell did you think was calling, and what the hell is going on? Where the hell have you been, we've been calling you for two weeks, Javi and Kevin are out of their mind with worry, Montgomery told them well better described as kicked their asses and told them to shape up or patrol cars had their names on them"

"I'm sorry Lanie, can you come over, I really don't feel like talking on the phone, oh and bring some wine and vodka,"

"I'll be there in twenty minutes,

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

_**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted**__**.**_

_**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**_

_**Previously **_

_**God what a mess, just a few short weeks ago, she was clinging to life, almost professing her dying love for him, as they survived impossible odds, including almost being frozen to death. The bomb nightmare still haunted her, even though she had been gone for the last two weeks, trying to get away from everything and everyone. She had gone to the Virgin Islands, using Rick's Christmas present from last year. She was reluctant because it was for a party of two, the chance of her finding someone she would go with now was less than slim to none. **_

_**The country was beautiful, the weather warm, and certainly enough hunky young men she could have tried to screw his memory away, but she just couldn't, no matter how attractive the offer was she declined. On one instance a Romeo wouldn't take no for an answer till she had him on the ground, waiting for security to handcuff him and haul him away. It got around then she was a cop and probably lesbian so don't waste your time. How lies and rumors started was just amazing, then she remembered another one she was guilty of.**_

_**Another lie she had let Rick believe, earlier in the year, she and Josh had gone to Hawaii, and when Rick thought she had used the voucher he gifted her, she didn't correct him. They had used the points from Josh's DWOB flights for the last several years, she would never use something that close to her on another man, yet she allowed Rick to think he had paid for their week-long Fuck Fest, as Lanie relayed from Esposito.**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 7**

**Rick's Penthouse,**

**Los Angeles CA**

**After Birthday Celebration **

**Flashback**

"Ricky, you know we love you, and would never do anything to hurt you, remember when you turned down that offer to write for a certain British Secret Agent a few years ago?"

"Of course, I do Paula, I turned it down, and was sorry less than two weeks later, but things happen for a reason"

"They sure do, we have a new offer just received, three times the money, more control, it's a five-book deal, I guess they tried another author and the last two books had so much red ink they thought they had lost the company.

**Present Time**

"When did you get the offer Paula and how much negotiation have you done yet?" Rick asked when they were back in his room, well apartment, it had three bedrooms and a sitting area,

"I received a call last week, but you know me, Ricky, I told them that any offers had to be legal and in writing, and if they were talking about a US Distribution effort we had ideas, I called Gina, and the paperwork came in yesterday, so Alexis and I are here, Happy Birthday"

"I hope you don't mind Rick, but Paula knows how things have been going over at BP, Uncle Larry can't die soon enough to satisfy the Board of Directors, and it puts the pressure on all of the management, so I was complaining when she asked me would I be interested. If you have any objections, I'll withdraw from consideration"

"Gina, that's perhaps the dumbest thing you've said since we left New York, why wouldn't I love to work with you, God, if this week is any indication what we can accomplish, without one fight, then I never want you to leave."

"Mom, you have to stay, I mean I'll be in college, and Lord knows I won't have time to watch him, especially if he's jetting between continents, who knows what kind of international incident could occur" Alexis laughs as Rick threw a pillow at her, Gina walked over and hugged her, whispering something in her ear. Alexis nodded, and then hugged her, as Gina fought back tears.

"Well, I guess to keep international scandals down, if Rick agrees to a contract then so will I, but only as a package deal. IF they ever think of cutting him, I'm gone with a 5-year severance, we've already agreed to that"

"What? Five Years" Did you get it in writing Genes?"

She just looked at him for a second, then kissed his cheek, "I learned from the best, so yes Love, it's in writing"

Alexis noticed Rick's phone lighting up for a second then going back dark, "Daddy are you getting texts or voice mails you've got routed to folders again?"

"They're probably from Kate, she hasn't given up yet," he said without any emotion,

"Daddy didn't you teach me that it was rude to ignore people if you don't want to hear from her, you owe her that message. The longer it goes the worse it gets for you both."

"She's got a boyfriend, so I don't have any idea why she's still bothering me, anything I could help her with is long gone"

"Daddy? Maybe you should listen or read them, then tell her goodbye if that's what you want to do, or tell her not now, you owe an answer, don't be rude. You taught me that when Paige and I had that big fight, well it was actually a misunderstanding but if we were doing what you're doing neither of us would have known it was just a misunderstanding and I would have lost my best friend, do you remember that?" Alexis wasn't letting up

"Well, that was dif*"

"I call Bull and Mom agrees, so don't try to change the rules, I'm an adult now, don't preach something to me that you don't do, Daddy"

Rick slowly opened his phone, opened the folder with the voice mails, there were over 50, as he scrolled down, he opened the text folder, over 120 texts one just received 30 minutes ago.

"We girls are going out, it looks like you have some homework Dad, we won't be late" as she slipped his wallet and took three $100 dollar bills from him, and kissed him.

"Rick, please Love, for your sake more than hers, listen to them, you don't have to talk to her, but you do owe her an answer, no matter how mad you got at me, you never acted this way, please, for me?" Gina had her eyes locked on his, she knew he could never refuse her, not to mention, Alexis was on him as well.

"OK Genes, but this is for you, OK?"

"Thanks, Love" she kissed him on the lips, hugged him and then said, "Your daughter, Paula and I are going to give you some privacy, see you later,"

"Bye Daddy, I'm sorry, but this will be good for you like you told me you never want to wonder, What If, so now, be kind Daddy, we love you." She hugged him, hell Paula even hugged him and then he was alone.

Xx

Fifteen minutes later, Rick has finally gotten the courage to listen to Kate's last voice mail.

"_Rick, it's Kate, I get it, I know you're dodging my calls, but look, I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, please check with Eduardo when you return, I didn't forget, I guess I'll talk to you when you're ready, Call me anytime, once again, I'm sorry, sorry for everything, I care about you Rick, more than you know, so I guess goodbye, for now, call me. "_

Her voice sounded weak, shaky like it did right after the bomb incident, not at all like the confident Detective who had threatened to shoot him so many times. He also noted the use of his first name, which was also out of character for her.

He flipped to the Text folder, and sure as heck, she had followed up with a text, two minutes after she called,

"_Happy Birthday Rick, I left you a voice mail, yes another one, if you want to get rid of me please just text or call back and tell me to go to hell, something, I'm so sorry, you're hurt, angry, and I made a mess of everything, but today's your Birthday, so call me when you can, and have a good Birthday, I miss you, I miss us"_

She missed us? There was no us, she had made it plain that there never would be.

He was confused but he didn't want to have the girls come back without some resolution, so he decided to call her bluff, and to call her. It wouldn't be a long call, but at least he could judge what the hell she was talking about.

He poured his three fingers of single malt, grabbed his phone and moved to a private room in case the ladies came back before he hung up with her if she was even there, or in a moment with her boyfriend,

He dialed, and was surprised when she answered the phone almost in a state of panic,

"Rick, is this really you? I mean hello, how are you?

"Hi Kate, it's me, I'm just calling to say thanks for the birthday wishes, not sure what you mean about checking with Eduardo, but the call was plenty, thank you."

She stammered like a junior high school girl on her first date call, "Eh Rick, I, well I got you something Eduardo has the card, I couldn't leave it, but I left a picture of it. You just have to have it delivered."

"Kate. Since when did you start buying me birthday presents, you're gonna piss off, Josh,"

"Yeah about that Rick, well, there is no Josh, hasn't been since the day I found out you left, I was asleep on the couch, trying to get warm, and he got an emergency call, well long story short, Nurse Goodbody and a supply closet was the emergency,"

"I'm sorry Kate, you didn't deserve that" he was sincere,

"Why are you being so nice Rick, I would have thought you would have told me I told you so, or something like that,"

"Why Kate? Would it have helped now? I doubt it will help even the next time you fall for some pretty face, but you'll learn sometime"

"What if I already have Rick, what if I know what I want?"

"I would say you are on the rebound and need at least six months of a clear head, but of course it's your life," she shuddered when her own words were thrown back at her.

"Rick, have you listened to all my voicemails or read any of my text messages?"

"Just those from today, I really am working on my real job, that isn't a lie like everyone thought."

"I know, I saw you and Gina on TMZ, and some other interviews, looks like you opened a whole new market for Heatwave, how's Gina anyway?"

"Kate what are you asking, you say you saw the TMZ who practically had us eloping, and other interviews, what do you want to know? Tell me directly, and if it is any of your business, I'll tell you"

Ouch, another one of her lines, thrown back at her "Rick do you hate me that much, I mean I know you were hurt, Montgomery got a letter of reprimand, and I was suspended for three weeks, I have one more week to serve, all because I allowed Josh access to the floor. I know you saw him mark his territory as the Captain said, when he hugged me from behind right when we were about to talk about us, I'm sorry.

"I never asked him to come, I told him to stay away, but he was always jealous of you and had us having an affair in his mind, I saw you when you walked out. WHY didn't you call me when I texted you that night, I knew something was wrong, and even asked if you wanted to talk about it, why didn't we Rick?"

"WHY? Kate, why talk about something that can't or won't change. Do you expect me to believe that you would have chosen my feelings over your part-time boyfriend, come on, even I'm not that stupid? Every time it came down to you choosing me or someone else your track record speaks for itself.

Look, I heard about the suspension, I told Bob to take it easy on you and Roy, you were just chasing what your heart wanted, no sin in that, I wasn't the choice so it was time for me to cash in on a great offer for my real job."

"You heard, how?"

"Kate, Bob's been a friend since we were teens, he wanted to force Roy to retire and fire you, I had my choice of precincts or CIS if I would come back, but I told him what I told Roy when he called. I'm done, done with cops, done with the politics, the rights and passages of the secret society of the order of the police, but most of all, I done with lies and being led along. I've seen enough, heard enough and hurt enough to write the rest of the series, while I work the new project, so don't worry Kate, I won't paint you as the bad cop."

"Look, Rick, I deserved that, it's true I lied to you with Demming, I used or tried to use Josh as punishment for you hooking up with Gina that summer that you invited me*"

"Oh, the summer you lied, I don't have any vacation days left, some people have to work, I asked, on Memorial Day, your answer was yes. Funny how things changed when Demming had the rented beach house, so I get punished by everyone in the precinct because your little heart was hurt when it was you who lied? I was treated worse than Vulcan Simmons, hell Ryan almost shot me,"

"That's part of the reason I was suspended, I didn't treat you fairly and I want to apologize"

"Water over the damn Kate, I already called Bob and he's rescinding both letters, so you should have a clean slate when you go back next week"

"Rick do you hate me? Do you think you can ever forgive me?" "I mean I almost told the entire truth in that freezer car, but I think I passed out before*"

"That was the hypothermia kicking in, even your ex said so, so no worries. I don't hate you Kate, but really there's not a lot about you I like anymore. I used to respect you, thought you were some super cop, but then I found out, you are a great cop, and a lousy human being, so what's left?"

"You didn't tell me if you could forgive me, I mean I know it's asking a lot, but Rick you have to know how I feel about you, you have to."

"How would I know that stay in the car Castle, he saved a life this morning Castle, what did you do make waffles, can I shoot him now or do I have to wait, so how would I know your feelings, if they aren't these which you did a damn good job in reinforcing by the way. Can I forgive you, not now, Kate, maybe someday, but not now?

I've had my heart broken before, I've been cheated on, lied to, but I never have been made to feel less than what I know I am, a man with my own unique qualities. I don't need a badge, a gun, a scalpel, I make a difference in my own way. You not only stabbed me, but you also twisted it so I could feel the full effect every chance you or your boys got."

"Rick, I'm so sorry, I should have never done those things, I'm not even sure why I did, I love you"

"Excuse Me?"

"I said I love you, Rick, I'm afraid of you and your love but I can't stop, I still love you"

"I'm sorry Kate, excuse me if I say I don't believe you, no one could treat someone they love the way you have, no one, perhaps you need to learn what love is, then figure out where you go from there, but it's not US, there's never been an US, you reminded me daily there never would be.

"Thanks for the Birthday wishes, I have to go,"

"Rick, please,"

"Take care of yourself, Detective, thanks again. Goodbye," and the phone line went dead,

Kate's heart ached the same way he had when her Mom had died, all the work to protect from hurting had caused her to live it all over again, perhaps even worse,

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

_**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted**__**.**_

_**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**_

_**Previously **_

_**God what a mess, just a few short weeks ago, she was clinging to life, almost professing her dying love for him, as they survived impossible odds, including almost being frozen to death. The bomb nightmare still haunted her, even though she had been gone for the last two weeks, trying to get away from everything and everyone. She had gone to the Virgin Islands, using Rick's Christmas present from last year. She was reluctant because it was for a party of two, the chance of her finding someone she would go with now was less than slim to none. **_

_**The country was beautiful, the weather warm, and certainly enough hunky young men she could have tried to screw his memory away, but she just couldn't, no matter how attractive the offer was she declined. On one instance a Romeo wouldn't take no for an answer till she had him on the ground, waiting for security to handcuff him and haul him away. It got around then she was a cop and probably lesbian so don't waste your time. How lies and rumors started was just amazing, then she remembered another one she was guilty of.**_

_**Another lie she had let Rick believe, earlier in the year, she and Josh had gone to Hawaii, and when Rick thought she had used the voucher he gifted her, she didn't correct him. They had used the points from Josh's DWOB flights for the last several years, she would never use something that close to her on another man, yet she allowed Rick to think he had paid for their week-long Fuck Fest, as Lanie relayed from Esposito.**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 8**

**San Jose California, Airport**

**Saturday, 8:00 AM**

The sun was just breaking through the clouds and mountains as Rick and Gina arrived at check-in for their flight back to New York. It had been a hell of a tour, successful beyond belief in more ways than one. Alexis and Paula had left Wednesday, after celebrating Rick's Birthday for two days, including a book signing that had surprised him with a huge cake in the shape of his first Storm novel, quite touching to Rick.

Alexis returned for school, and Paula to finalize the deal for not only Rick but also Gina, who would be joining Fox Run Publishing as their American Division Vice President, quite a title, she couldn't help but believe that Rick had some input in not only her title but also her offer letter. It took all doubts away from leaving Black Pawn, and the beauty was Rick's contract ended with this book. The next two would be published by her new firm, at an increased rate for all, writer, agent and manager.

Gina was still as protective of him as she had been the entire trip, holding his hand, making sure he had breaks, and food, gosh did she nag about eating, but Rick loved it and loved her for caring. After they had checked in, they went to the Frequent Flyer, VIP lounge, where they could relax till time to board. She knew something had been bothering him since they returned from shopping, she suspected it had been one of Kate's voice mails or texts, but she didn't want to push.

"Are you ready to tell me what's been bothering you since Alexis made you listen to Kate's messages? It's up to you love, but you know it's not good to hold it in."

Rick smiled, and squeezed her hand, "You know I could never pull anything over on you, I don't know how you didn't figure out I was going to propose, you always busted me for everything else"

Gina smile, and squeezed his hand back, she had figured it out, and almost froze in the balloon, but would never tell him, he had tried so hard to be sure she was special.

"Well, I listened to Kate's voice mail, well the last one, I still haven't brought myself to listen to the rest, they're probably more of the same. Anyway, she wished me a Happy Birthday, and told me to be sure to check with Eduardo, for her card, it has a picture of a present she got me, but I have to have it delivered."

"That's strange, what did she get you that needs to be delivered, and it better not be a two-hour session with that massage parlor that offers happy endings, I love you enough to stop that?" she laughed and poked him, trying to get him to cheer up,

"Not hardly, well I called her Gina, we talked for about twenty minutes, and I heard a lot of what I expect I'll hear from her previous voice mails, but then she floored me, she told me she loved me and that she broke up with Josh."

"What did you say, Rick? You know if you want me to back off I*"

She didn't finish the statement because he had pulled her into a kiss, "Now will you hush, I know any chance for us to be man and wife again are over, but you're my best friend, and I would never throw you aside for anyone, especially after what she put me through."

Gina blushed, then tears came to her eyes, "You always make me cry, you know exactly what to say. I wish we could have a do-over for our marriage, but I don't want to risk losing my best friend, it's something I never had before and I kind of like having him around."

"Well, I told her that she didn't know what love was, she needed to go find out, then let her mind settle for at least six months before she even thought about love"

"Well, she's confused for sure, well at least in my mind. I mean how could she think that any man, especially one who was as successful as you would take that kind of crap, not once, but over and over. I'm glad you called her Rick, now you have to listen to the rest of the voice mails and read the texts.

"If you decide to forgive her, don't string her along Rick, please, I can tell you from my own experience, not knowing was worse than the actual act. I knew our time was ending, we both did, neither of us would act on it, well till I got mad and did the most stupid thing in my life.

"If Paula is on her game, we should have a contract to sign by the time we land and you don't want to leave for the United Kingdom with that on your mind, you need to be on your game for sure."

"Gina, you know we both have enough blame, as for forgiving Kate, I did, I really did, it's just that I woke up and saw she may be a hell of a cop, but she's a lousy human being. I know her parents taught her better, I've spoken to her Dad on a few occasions and he admitted they both had changed for the worse once he lost his wife. Kate is on a mission, and she won't stop until she's killed or killed the man responsible for, he Mom's murder.

"When your life is fueled with that kind of passion, that kind of determination, it's easy to put blinders on, and forget all those around you, they don't matter unless they can help you reach your goal. At first, I admired her strength, but I came to realize that although she's a damn good cop, will work tirelessly to bring victims justice, there's no price she won't pay for her obsession.

"It's all a diversion, something she tells herself to keep her going. The bottom line is no one, or nothing else matters except her quest. I don't want to live my life or allow Alexis to see that, it's not healthy, and well, all I can do is wish her luck and walk away.

"I've been hurt enough for one lifetime," he looks out into the distance, Gina quietly moves next to him pulling him in close to her, he's hurting and there's nothing either of them can do to stop it. He's right, he does need to get away and stay away until Kate wakes up or he heals completely. He takes Gina's hand and leans his head against hers.

The notice to proceed to the gate came at just the right time, Gina is angry at Kate, and hurt for Rick, but knows all she can do is stand by his side. He'll have to work things out with Kate by himself, God why do we have to watch the ones we love hurt, helpless to do anything but be there. She dabs a tear out of his sight as they take their seats, and prepare for hopefully the start of a new life for them both.

Xx

**Beckett's Apartment**

**Saturday 10:30 AM**

Kate had a great visit with Lanie Thursday night, even explaining to her why she had to get away, and why she didn't want to be with anyone. Everything had reminded her of Rick, or something they had done together, it was just too much. She was even able to hide the fact that she had just hung up with him, talking to him for the first time since he had left, nearly three weeks ago. Somehow, she got through the conversation, probably because Lanie was so pissed at her for leaving, then nosey to find out where she went, did she get laid while she was there, why not, and a ton of questions that Kate just tolerated.

She made it through Friday, as she prepared to return to work Monday, picking up her dry cleaning, and shopping for a few staples, then visiting her Dad for a lunch date. Cleaning the apartment once again, she found one of Josh's old shirts, he had stuffed it in the couch pillows, probably in the heat of a moment.

It gave her a lot of pleasure to take it to the grills on the rooftop of her building and burning it, and everything she could find even remotely associated with her time with him along with the shirt. It was almost like a purge, she couldn't believe how she fell for his lines, and how she had treated Rick with the putdown comments.

The more she thought about the entire time with the good Doctor, the more she kicked herself. So many times, the emergency pages, so many times, complications, he would shower and sleep at the hospital, it pissed her off that she allowed herself to be played like a cheap guitar.

At the same time, there had been Rick, an open book, generous to a fault, why she didn't act, hell quit lying, to herself, to everyone else she finally admitted. She was afraid all right, but not of hurting, well not at first, she feared he would reject her then the hurt would come. What the hell did a world-famous author see in a cop?

His reputation of bedding starlets had preceded him and she didn't want to be one of his conquests, or so she said when she first met him. After getting to know just how much of a family man, and how close he was to Alexis, she found the playboy tag hard to believe.

IF she had only asked him or gave him a sign, just as she finished the thought, her phone pinged, with a text. Thinking it could be Rick, she grabbed her phone and opened it without looking,

"Kate, don't think you pulled one over on me Thursday night, I'll be there in an hour be ready to spill what you and writer man talked about. You slipped up when you said 'Rick just told me', but I didn't want to ask you questions that would bring the tears you fought all night, see you in a few, I do love you Girl Friend, LP."

Kate was glad to see Lanie, she had searched and searched for something to do, to kill the few hours she had left on suspension but was going crazy. She didn't want to call Lanie in case Javi had slept over, so she kept busy the best way she could. Finding and burning the shirt had boosted her spirits, but she still wanted to hurt the bastard.

Xx

Rick had fallen asleep holding Gina's hand after takeoff, she didn't even attempt to move it, enjoying every minute of his touch. She knew that in time his heart would heal, and she would be his friend, but this closeness would be shared with another woman, it was what they agreed upon.

She knew there was more love between the two of them than the majority of marriages they knew, BUT that wouldn't be enough for either of them, they tried it, and when it was good, it was really good, but then the wheels fell off, and the ending was terrible. She at least knew he had been faithful, she knew it without a doubt, no matter what others tried to say.

Their problem had been her wanting to be more, and Rick fighting to hold on to his most prized possession, Alexis. She didn't understand how he could be so selfish then, but now she knew it wasn't selfishness, but his way of protecting his little girl from the hurt he had felt.

She glanced over at him, still sleeping so quietly, looking more like a little boy than a celebrity, she gently brushed his hair and kissed his forehead. She hadn't known what to expect when she took this tour on at a spur of the moment, but looking back it was three weeks she would love to live over and over with Rick. The seatbelt sign came on, and she felt the landing gear extract,

"Rick, Sweetie, we'll be landing in about 10 minutes, so wake up. Come on Sweetie, please wake up, just as she thought she was going to have to put water on his face, he reached out and pulled her into a deep kiss,

"Thank You, I don't know if I'll ever get a chance, well just the two of us again, but Thank You for the last three weeks. You made this fun, and I owe you so very much"

"Rick, I do love you, I wish we could have had our do-over, but I wanted to keep the memory of the last three weeks with you in my mind with no distraction. I know with our history, the sex would have been great, that was never the problem, but I think we both learned how to love again. Thank You, I wouldn't trade this for the world."

She laid her head on his shoulder, as his arm went around her, pulled her close and kissed her forehead, gently, like he used to do to Alexis. What a sweet man, he would never know just how hard it had been for her not to throw caution to the wind for one more try. It was the right decision then; it was the right one now.

Just as they touched down, Rick and Gina's phone both pinged with text messages, Paula had sent them a group text. She needed them both at the loft for some Good News was all she said.

The driver collected the luggage, and then they headed through the light morning traffic, reaching the loft in less time than expected. The driver assisted with the luggage to the door, where they heard Alexis and Paula both laughing with delight. Rick opened the door, and heard,

"Mom, Dad We're glad to see you, Paula's got some news and I thought we were going to bust before we got to tell you," it wasn't lost on Rick that Alexis had gone to Gina first hugging her, then bringing him into a group hug.

"Hey Pumpkin, we're glad to be home as well, but this was a fantastic tour, I can't thank you both enough for the surprise birthday visit, it made me feel special."

"You are special, you want to know why Ricky? Just ask, ask me why you're special," Paula was laughing so hard it was almost hard to understand her.

"OK Paula, why am I special?"

"Well, when you sign this contract for 5 books you will be the ONLY American author to ever write for Sir Ian Fleming's Secret Agent that will not be named. Five Book deal Ricky, by the time this is completed, Alexis Grandkids will be set for life. This is Patterson money Ricky, Congratulations"

"Thanks, Paula, what's the good news for Gina, you said it was us both?"

"Well, do you mean Ms. Vice President of American Operations, Ms. Gina Cowell to you? She has an iron-clad contract the same as you Ricky, one goes you both go and with a boatload of money."

"Wow Paula, you pulled it off, I don't know how to thank you, what are the details, oh and one slight change, I need the name to read Gina Castle Cowell, that's how I interviewed, I hope you don't mind Rick, I never dropped the name."

Rick smiled as Alexis just hugged her, "Why would I complain? I love it" He said, as she smiled.

"Well Ricky, here's the deal, you start in three weeks, we, that is if you want me to come with you and Gina have a week visit to check out housing, meet your Administrative Assistant who reports to you, dotted line to Lord Weatherby, Chief of Operations and a personal friend of Sir Ian's.

"Then Gina comes back to set up the American site, here in New York, and schedule the meetings once the first book is laid out, tittle, length, and some other criteria. You have time to come home for all the holidays, and even breaks between phases of the book, so they will do a much better job than I. How does it sound?"

Gina was almost in tears, as Rick was beaming, "Well honestly better than I could have ever hoped for, Genes, do you think you could get two weeks' vacation, I want to wrap the last two Heat books up, and if we could all go to the Hamptons, it would cut down on the processing time. I don't want Black Pawn to get them, that's why the vacation, we'll hold them and throw them in between the Sir Ian's books, what do you think?"

"I think I need to do laundry, or go shopping, big decision, Alexis come on Sweetie, we got some clothes to buy," she hugged Paula, but laid a big kiss on Rick, be back soon Love, don't miss me too much"

She heard, even if he thought he had said it low enough for only him, "not missing you is impossible" as he yelled out, "Hurry Back"

"Dad, check the counter, Eduardo just brought up a package for you, be back soon" Alexis called out over her shoulder

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

_**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted**__**.**_

_**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**_

_**Previously **_

"_**Kate, don't think you pulled one over on me Thursday night, I'll be there in an hour be ready to spill what you and writer man talked about. You slipped up when you said 'Rick just told me', but I didn't want to ask you questions that would bring the tears you fought all night, see you in a few, I do love you Girl Friend, LP."**_

_**Kate was glad to see Lanie, she had searched and searched for something to do, to kill the few hours she had left on suspension but was going crazy. She didn't want to call Lanie in case Javi had slept over, so she kept busy the best way she could. Finding and burning the shirt had boosted her spirits, but she still wanted to hurt the bastard.**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 9**

**Beckett's Apartment**

**Saturday 11:47 AM**

True to her word, Kate heard the door open and there stood her friend with a bag and two coffee's in a carryout tray, "well get your ass over here and take one of these, and like I told you, facts, I want to know the facts."

Kate smiled, hurried over and took the coffees from her and sat them on her table, then hugged her friend, "it's good to see you, Lanie, thanks for being here for me."

"Well the two boys are really pissed at you, they got their asses handed to them, no reprimands or suspensions, but Roy lowered the boom on them both. When he found out Ryan almost shot Castle, he almost suspended him but I think Rick called Bob Weldon and told him to go easy on the newlywed. No one knows yet, but Jenny is pregnant and having a hard time.

"How the hell Castle found out, beats us, but Kevin said he went to make a payment on their medical bill from the hospital, and it was paid. They couldn't or wouldn't tell him by who, even when he argued, that if it were a mistake, they would bill him later with interest. They gave him a letter stating the account had a $3000 credit, to be used when Jenny needed the special care, I swear, that man."

"I know Lanie, I know. Everyone saw it in him, well everyone but me. I don't know why, but I was so afraid that he would get me hooked then dump me, he's never done that, well that I know of but even his divorces were friendly. My God, look at him and Gina now, if they aren't screwing, I'm not standing here"

"Kate, why do you care, I mean, why do you still care? He didn't stand in your way when you chose Deming, then when he came back and everyone, I mean EVERYONE treated him like the plague, he still didn't give up on you. Why do you care what he does or with who, God knows he's had to watch and listen to you brag about what a stud Doctor MB was, or have you forgotten that?"

Kate hung her head, "I remember Lanes, I can't help but remember every time I hurt him. Josh was a cheating Bastard, Deming was a nice guy, but nothing more than an object to make Rick jealous, the fool gave him a green light to go after me"

"Well what did you expect, had you given him even one sign that you cared about him?"

"No, I guess I didn't, even when I stayed with them, I treated him as the playboy on page six, but Lanie, you should see him as a Dad, I mean, it's almost like reruns of Ozzie and Harriet. He and Alexis are so close, and he's really a great dad, I should have talked to him then, but oh hell it doesn't matter now anyway" as tears fill her eyes

"What do you mean it doesn't matter now?"

"Well I called him on his Birthday, Wednesday, I sent a follow-up text, well, to be honest, I've been calling and texting him almost 3-4 times a day for the last three weeks, but this time he called me back, before that nothing."

"OK he called you back, so what did you say, after Hello, and Kate cut the bullshit, remember I'm your friend I can tell when you lie or hold details back."

"Well when I quit stammering like a grade-schooler, I wished him a Happy Birthday and told him I bought him a gift, I couldn't deliver it or leave it for him so I left his card with a picture of the gift along with the number to call to have it delivered with Eduardo with instructions to hand-deliver it to him."

"Well, what did you get him a new car? What the hell is it that you couldn't have it delivered?"

"Lanie, some things remain None of your business, look I'm telling you as much as I can, but no more interruptions or I won't say another word, I mean it" Kate's temper flared a bit, and Lanie knew she was serious, she would be good, nothing better than fresh gossip to the ME.

"I'm sorry, I'll be quiet, but Kate, I still know if you're lying to me."

"Well, the first question he asked me was since when did I buy him birthday gifts and I was going to piss Josh off. I told him there was no Josh, and he was sorry, sincerely sorry, that I was cheated on. I asked him why didn't he rub it in, or at least say I told you so. He just asked, 'Why would it have helped, I doubt it will help even with the next pretty boy you fall for, you'll learn sometime' almost like he knew I was going to repeat the mistakes I had made."

"Did he sound upset, or mean, I know Rick and his tone gives away about how he really feels," Lanie asked

"Well, he sounded like it was a weather report he was reading, no emotion, no anger, no sorrow, just like it happened, so what move on. I asked him what he would think if I told him I knew what and who I wanted now,"

"Kate, where you going to finally tell him you loved him? My God, go on girl, I'll shut up" Lanie was on the edge of her chair,

"Well, he told me something about me needing to be off the rebound for six months to think with a clear head before I started up with anyone else, then he threw my words back in my face when he said, of course,** it's your life** like you've told me a thousand times.

"I asked him if he had listened to my voicemails or read any of my texts, I know he sets up rules on his phone to send messages straight to folders, that's what he had done for me, he told me the truth, the only ones he heard or read where the one I sent on his birthday. He said not to put too much into it, he had been busy with his real job and was working on a career moment if things fell into place.

"I made the mistake of telling him something like, yeah, I saw you with Gina on TMZ and all of the photos, hell I mean they're always so close, she's always looking after him, what was I supposed to think?"

"Well, for one thing, it doesn't matter what you think Kate, Gina is his publisher and ex-wife, and really isn't it better for everyone for them to get along?"

"Lanie, whose side are you on, no, well I mean yes, it's good they're not fighting but I never wanted them to be fucking like rabbits either, I mean just watch them, and tell me I'm nuts. I'd bet a month's salary they are back together, at least in the bedroom if nothing else."

"And I say **SO WHAT** if they are, you certainly didn't stake any claim on him or waste any time in rubbing Josh's sexual prowess to us all, really it was comical. The more you talked about how good he was, it told me just the opposite, he was the CAD I thought and only cared about getting himself satisfied, tell me I'm wrong Kate Beckett"

She lowered her head, "He was the worst in bed I've ever had, you know what I thought when I caught him with Nurse Big Boobs? Not anger but the relief I could quit faking it, and staying out late to avoid him touching me, sad I know.

"I even made a comment to Rick about How was Gina doing, and once again he nailed me with one of my barbs. He asked me, what I wanted to know, just come out and ask him, and he would tell me **IF it was any of my business**, another line I threw at him so often.

"I swallowed hard, I deserved those lines, God knows he heard them enough, I finally asked him if he hated me that much, enough to totally wipe me from his life. I apologized for acting as I had, and told him about my suspension, he already knew. He told me he had talked to Roy and Bob Weldon to get a lighter punishment for me, and Roy. Weldon wanted to fire me and demote Roy, he was so pissed.

"I explained that I hadn't asked Josh to come that day of the bomb case, but he just showed up, he already knew I had forced the Desk Sargent to put his name on the cleared list, or else he would never have been able to get to the floor.

"Anyway I asked him why he hadn't called me that night, we traded a few text messages, but he was so distant, I thought I would give him time*"

"Time for what Kate, to pick his ego off the floor, or put his broken heart back in his chest, when Josh marked his territory, and you didn't resist you told Rick to get lost, even if you didn't say a word, that was the message.

"Well, he got the loudest of any time on the call, he asked **WHY?** Why he hadn't bothered to call, as if it would change anything, I had a choice, I made it, and it wasn't him but my part-time boyfriend as he worded it. He said something then that made me realize just how badly he is hurt, he asked me why did I think he was so stupid to believe that I would ever choose him, that I had several opportunities but my track record spoke for itself.

"He then told me about Weldon offering his any assignment at any precinct in the city, including CSI, but then his words almost made me cry. He told Weldon he was done, with the lies, the secret society cops play to, I think that was directed at Javi, and then the words that killed me. He was done with being led along and used, he had seen enough and felt enough hurt he didn't want to ever set foot in the 12th again. He told me he had enough material to finish the series, and that he wouldn't make me out to be the bad cop.

"I told him I understood and that I deserved those comments, then tried to explain Deming and Josh, but he cut me off, replaying the lies that I had told him, how he hurt coming back, being treated like a villain by everyone, and wondering what the hell had he done to receive such treatment from his so-called friends."

Lanie was silent for a moment, noticing that Kate's tears had started to fall slowly from each eye, she had been fighting them back since she arrived, but it was clear, she was losing the battle.

"Lanie, when we almost froze to death in that freezer, I started to tell him the truth, I only got as far as telling him I wanted him to know how much then I passed out, even with the lining of his jacket on me. The damn fool only had the shell of his coat on, using the liner to warm me, trying to save my life. I tried to tell him about it, he just threw Josh back at me.

"Hey water over the damn, that was the hypothermia talking, you weren't responsible even Doctor MB said so"

"Wow, he's more than hurt Kate, it sounds like he feels destroyed," Lanie now had a tear in her eye,

"Well, one of the last things he said was probably the most accurate, even though it kills me to hear the words in my mind over and over he was right. He told me that he didn't hate me, but really there wasn't a lot about me he liked anymore. He said he used to respect me, thought of me as some super cop, then found out the truth. He said 'Kate, you're a great cop, but you're a lousy human being so what's left?"

"Ouch" Lanie's tears now were winning as well.

"Then I told him he had to know how I felt about him and asked if he could ever forgive me, he repeated the barbs, **_stay in the car Castle, he saved a life this morning Castle, what did you do make waffles, can I shoot him now or do I have to wait,_** so how would he know my feelings. Then he answered my question Can I forgive you? Not now, Kate, maybe someday, but not now.

I've had my heart broken before, I've been cheated on, lied to, but I never have been made to feel less than what I know I am, a man with my own unique qualities. I don't need a badge, a gun, a scalpel, I make a difference in my own way. You not only stabbed me, but you also twisted it so I could feel the full effect every chance you or your boys got."

Kate paused while she replaced the wad of tissues she had been using, now soaked with her tears, and handed Lanie the tissue box, as Lanie's tears fell almost as hard as hers,

"God Kate, why, I mean didn't you see that man loved you, hell the John Doe I was working on could have told you." She sniffled,

"I saw it Lanie, but I was afraid, afraid of hurting just like I did when I lost Mom, well it was stupid because now I hurt more than the day she died. I told him I love him, Lanes, I had to repeat it when he said Excuse Me, probably in shock, and I repeated and said I loved him and I had for a long time.

"He wasn't mean or spiteful but the tone of his voice is one I will never forget, he said that he didn't believe me, that no one could treat someone they love the way I treated him. Then he told me I needed to learn what love was, what it meant, then figure out my future WITHOUT him.

"Once again, he used my fucking words, God, how hurtful I have been, he repeated the last words I said when all he said that something was going to make it tough on us. My big mouth had to point out, hatefully, 'it's not US, there's never been a US', then he reminded me that I had reminded everyone frequently that there never would be an US."

"Well Kate how did the call end, I mean did he come around or was he as upset when he hung up as when he called?"

"All he said was "Thanks for the Birthday wishes, I have to go, take care of yourself Detective, thanks again. Goodbye," and the phone line went dead, along with my heart. Lanie, I have never hurt like I hurt when I heard that click, I've been such a fool"

"No arguments with that Girlfriend, but I think you need to focus, on LAR, or Life after Rick, that ship has definitely sailed and it seems like it's on a one-way trip away from you,"

They poured healthy shots of booze into the coffee's and played sad music the remainder of the morning, Kate needed a buddy, today a crying buddy for sure, and even if she had been an ass and self-destructed, Lanie was her friend, that's what friends do for each other,

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

_**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted**__**.**_

_**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**_

_**Previously **_

_**Gina was almost in tears, as Rick was beaming, "Well honestly better than I could have ever hoped for, Genes, do you think you could get two weeks' vacation, I want to wrap the last two Heat books up, and if we could all go to the Hamptons, it would cut down on the processing time. I don't want Black Pawn to get them, that's why the vacation, we'll hold them and throw them in between the Sir Ian's books, what do you think?"**_

"_**I think I need to do laundry, or go shopping, big decision, Alexis come on Sweetie, we got some clothes to buy," she hugged Paula, but laid a big kiss on Rick, be back soon Love, don't miss me too much"**_

_**She heard, even if he thought he had said it low enough for only him, "not missing you is impossible" as he yelled out, "Hurry Back"**_

"_**Dad, check the counter, Eduardo just brought up a package for you, be back soon" Alexis called over her shoulder **_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 10**

**Castle's Loft**

**Saturday 2:30 PM**

Rick was alone with his thoughts, how different today was from this time three weeks ago, today he felt like the King of the world, happy, truly happy for the first time in he couldn't remember when. He had spent three weeks with Gina, a woman he loved and knew loved him, even though the relationship remained sexless. He knew sex would only cloudy their friendship. She was just as hot if not hotter than when they were married, but they both realized that the love they had was not the marriage type, he wished she would find someone to complete her, who would worship her needs as she had these last few weeks for him.

He walked past the counter and saw the package Eduardo had delivered, it was the card that Kate had told him about on their call. He picked it up, on his way to the office, and tossed it on his desk, he would get around to it in a bit, first things first. He opened the contract documents Paula had sent to him, Gina was blind copied, and his attorney Howard Schwartz, to review. Howard had been with him for years, loyal to a fault and a great guy, he trusted so he downloaded the documents then closed the email. Next mail was from Howard, with a short message,

_"Rick, no changes required, don't know how you did it, but this is a hell of a deal, Congrats, and also to Paula who will take the credit anyway, leaving the blame for me", then a smile emoji_. Rick knew that Howard had discovered how to get under Paula's skin and did it every time he had the opportunity.

He typed back quickly, responding to all, _"Thanks Howard, please proceed, and Paula does get the credit for this one, please amend her contract by adding an additional 10% to her fees, starting immediately. Thanks, Paula, a hell of a job,"_

He knew she would appreciate the gesture more than the money, although the additional money and size of his new contract would give her security for the rest of her life as well. He cleared the mail, snail, and email and finally got down to Kate's card.

"Oh well, can't put it off forever" as he began to open the package. He opened the envelope and saw a very expensive Birthday Card, a beautiful picture of a library, bookshelves, all around, and then he opened it to read the verse. Before he could begin, he had to pick up a picture that fell out, then he focused on the card, His eyes focused on her neat handwriting on the first line, then he read the verse,

_**Dear Rick,**_

_**You are always thought of**_

_**In a VERY SPECIAL way**_

_**And you're wished**_

_**Love, Luck, and happiness in life,**_

_**Today and every day,**_

_**HAPPY BIRTHDAY**_

Always,

Kate

She had never sent him a Birthday card before, and this one, well it indicated that she considered him more than her pain in the ass. He finally turned the picture over and pulled a post-it note in her handwriting, **_hope you like it, and you know how much you mean to me, Always Kate. _**

He turned the picture over to see a copy of an original first edition of Casino Royale in an atmospheric controlled case, it looked like the one Abe had refused $50,000 dollars for just a few months ago, he looked closer, damn it was the same, he remembered the new piece of wood in the case.

He sat there, speechless, how the hell did she buy a book that cost almost her entire yearly salary, and when? Just then his phone rang,

"Castle,"

"Rick, eh, hope you enjoyed the tour, this is Abe, the old book guy"

"Abe, how are you doing, I'm glad you called, I mean there's got to be a mistake, Detective Beckett sent me a picture of the book you own,"

"I don't own it anymore Rick, I sold it."

"You sold it, Abe, I told you that I would match or top any offer you received, that book was special to me, can you tell me who you sold it to, and how I can contact them?" He was very upset, the thought of losing his chance at a childhood dream.

"I can't do that Rick, you know some people want to stay under the radar, especially after buying such an item"

"Yeah, I guess I understand, so what can I do for you Abe?"

"You can tell the Gestapo security you have here to let me up, I have something for you."

"Eduardo, if you are around, Abe is on the allowed list,"

Rick heard, "I told you so, Adolf, now which elevator," Abe was old but still didn't take anyone's crap.

A few minutes later his door buzzed and there stood Abe with a portable atmospheric control bookcase, with a book in it,

"What's this Abe?"

"Well, Detective Beckett bought you a Birthday Present, but didn't want to just leave it lying around until you got back."

Then Rick saw it, it was the first edition Casino Royale, but how the hell could Kate afford such an expensive present, and why?

"Let's get this with the other's Rick," as he pointed out the number was First Edition, 27 in the lot, or the twenty-seventh book to be published in 1953.

"Abe, why did you sell this to Beckett when you turned down $50,000 from me just weeks ago,"

"It wasn't time to sell it when you offered, but you see the Detective, she wanted to buy a present for someone very special, something that would tell him she screwed up and would do anything for another chance, she didn't say who, but she didn't have to So you going to take the book, or be a prick, and let me sell it to then next person for more money, your choice"

"Abe, can you put it there, next to the other's, thanks, and for selling it to Beckett, but that's a year's salary for her, what did she pay for it so I can help her out"

"Rick, one of these days you're going to realize that somethings are worth everything you have but your soul, talk to Kate if you want to know. What she paid is none of your business, by the way, Happy Belated Birthday", as he headed for the door.

"Well you're a lucky man, I had a woman that loved me that much once, lost her 14 years ago, I'd sell it all for 10 more minutes with her, don't be a fool, none of us lives forever" and he was gone, leaving Rick sitting behind his desk, holding his head.

Rick was still sitting when Gina, Alexis, and Paula returned from shopping. Alexis noticed him first, sitting at his desk, not moving, his hand on his head, she recognized the signs of what he had gone through every time he and Beckett had a spat.

"Mom come with me, something's wrong with Daddy" as she grabbed her hand and led her into the office,

"Daddy/Rick" two female voices called out, Rick looked up, and out of his daze, he hadn't heard them come in, speak, or anything, he was so lost in thought.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I was lost in thought, I didn't hear you come in, how was shopping?"

"Daddy, don't give me that, what happened, and what did Beckett do now to upset you? This is how you act only when you and the Detective have issues, it's the only time, what happened?"

Gina has a look of panic on her face, and Alexis has a mixture of worry and anger,

"Pumpkin, it's not what you think", as he got up and took her by the hand to the bookcase, the one that was controlled against the elements, where he pointed out the new addition.

He felt Gina's arms slip around his waist from behind, "Rick is that what I think it is, a First Edition Casino Royale? How the hell could she afford it, I mean it's a lovely gift, but is it authentic, how does a cop pay for a collector item that could cost hundreds of thousands of dollars?"

"That's what has me stymied Genes, I mean Abe sold it to her, and actually delivered, it. God, he's almost 85 years old and I've tried to buy this from him for years. It's much too expensive a gift for me to accept, but I really don't want to put it back on the market, so what do I do?"

"Dad, didn't you say that you had spoken to her Mom's college dean, and they were looking ways to sponsor champions of the little guy, as her Mom did, why not set up a scholarship in her name, I'm sure a small percentage of royalties would pay for it going forward,"

"You're a genius, so proud of you and that high-priced education worth every penny. Paula,"

"Yeah, Yeah, I'm on it Ricky, I'll call Howard Monday, what else do we need,"

"Well tell him to transfer $100,000 from the research fund to seed it, but hold back until I leave for England, I want to finish the books without fighting with Kate about the payback for her gift."

"Daddy, you should let her know you received the book, I mean, well,"

"You're right pumpkin, I'll send a thank you card, we'll be in the Hamptons by the time she gets it, so that will keep the debate down, he notices Alexis frowning, OK, OK, I'll text her too,"

Gina Laughed and hugged her daughter, "You know sweetie if you had been older maybe your Dad and I would still be married, you can control him like no one else,"

"Mom, you could always try it again, I mean if you guys still love each other, like I think you do,"

"Oh Sweetie, no matter how much we want to, and believe me we both want it, we both know that our friendship is worth more than a marriage, I won't lose him again, even if I all I can do is kiss him" she blushed,

"Alexis, I love your Mom, more than I've loved any woman besides you and your Grams, but that's why we won't do it again, marriage would kill that, or at least hurt it, like Mom said, at least I get to kiss her, for now till she falls for the next pretty guy" then he ducks as Gina throws a punch at him,

"I understand Mom, he is a handful most days" as they all laugh and Rick feigns hurt.

Xx

**Kate Beckett's Apartment**

**Saturday 5:57 PM**

Kate and Lanie had really had a cryfest today, it seemed like they would just get control of their emotions, or one of them would, then a song would come on the radio that would cause the tears to fall, and one or the other would let the waterworks loose again. Lanie had just left but had talked, really talked to Kate about what she had to do to get the boys back. She had been hurt, but she forgave her, and now seeing that Rick was really gone, she couldn't stay hurt or angry, her friend really needed her today.

Kate had just taken her TV Dinner out of the microwave and was preparing to have her meal, the first one today, who knows what happened to lunch, Lanie and she apparently drank it, so she had to get some food in her. She had just swallowed her third bite when her phone chirped with a text. She grabbed it from the charging stand and saw it was from Abe.

"_Detective B, Delivered the book today, it was a huge surprise, left him almost speechless which is saying something for that man, hope things work out for the two of you, "_

_Abe_

Kate thought that was really sweet, for Abe to travel all that way and deliver the book himself, then let her know of Rick's response. She perked up even if she had lost him, she at least had surprised him in a good way and left him something he could never forget, hopefully not her either.

At least Rick got a present he can't just put away, and forget, he loved books far too much and this one was the reason he was a writer today, by his own admission. She had just cleared the kitchen, and laid down on the couch when once again the phone chirped with a text,

"_Kate, I got the gift, you and I both know it is far too expensive for you to give, I don't want to put you in a bind, so would you let me know what you paid Abe and I will at least go half with you, again, it was a great gift, and I truly appreciate it, but it's way past your budget if he charged anywhere near market value. Thanks for the card, and the book, they were great surprises,_

_Rick,_

She started typing without giving it a thought, just like old times for a moment she thought,

"_Rick, you and I both know that I could never pay market price, I don't have your budget and what I paid for your gift, isn't really important, it was in my budget, I'm just glad you got it, and you like it as much as you seem to in your text, Once Again, Happy Birthday, maybe we can grab a coffee soon and talk._

_Kate_

The answer came within a minute,

"_As I said Kate the gift was really thoughtful and I love it, as for coffee, I'll be out of town for quite some time, so maybe another time,_

_RC_

There it was, he was leaving again, she could only wonder where and if Gina would be with him on this trip, of course, she would, who was she kidding. They were back together and he just didn't want to say anything to her, since as she had reminded him her personal life was none of his business, guess paybacks are truly a bitch.

"_OK, the invitation is always open, keep me in mind if you find a few minutes to spare, I do want to talk to you face to face, Safe Travels and enjoy your projects._

_KB_

OK she had done everything she could do, at least for now, the ball was in his court, and as he waited for her, perhaps it was time for the shoe to be on the other foot, it sucked, worse than sucked but life sucks sometimes she thought. At least he hadn't told her to go to hell, or leave him alone, that was the only thing she could hang on to, for now, the rest was up to him, and the universe.

TBC

'


	11. Chapter 11

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!

I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.

A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted.

Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.

_**Previously**_

_**He felt Gina's arms slip around his waist from behind, "Rick is that what I think it is, a First Edition Casino Royale? How the hell could she afford it, I mean it's a lovely gift, but is it authentic, how does a cop pay for a collector item that could cost hundreds of thousands of dollars?"**_

_**"That's what has me stymied Genes, I mean Abe sold it to her, and actually delivered, it. God, he's almost 85 years old and I've tried to buy this from him for years. It's much too expensive a gift for me to accept, but I really don't want to put it back on the market, so what do I do?"**_

_**"Dad, didn't you say that you had spoken to her Mom's college dean, and they were looking ways to sponsor champions of the little guy, as her Mom did, why not set up a scholarship in her name, I'm sure a small percentage of royalties would pay for it going forward,"**_

***************************************************************************/

**Chapter 11**

**Castle's Beach House**

**The Hamptons,**

**Monday 9:00 AM**

Gina had taken a weeks' vacation, she was saving the other two for their trip to the UK in three weeks, but she agreed, it would be a lot more productive if she were there on her own time to have the last two Heat novels, as they say in the can, or completed, but not released. She fully expected to have no problem publishing them from her new company, in fact, it would bridge the gap between Rick's anonymous writing of Bond novels, keeping his own footprint current in the market.

They had arrived late last night, to avoid the weekend traffic coming and going to the weekend spot, so it wasn't surprising that most were sleeping in. Gina was the first to rise, after a quick shower she thought she would get a jump on the day, only to find Rick had already had made breakfast, and from the look of things had been writing for hours.

"Good morning Handsome, how long have you been at it, or did you pull an all-nighter?" she asked as she crossed the room to kiss him good morning. Her intention was to kiss his cheek, but he turned and captured her lips, and she held it longer than normal this time,

"Good Morning to you Gina, you look beautiful as ever," she blushed as she heard the words, she knew he was being sincere,

"Thanks, Rick, look I'm sorry for, I mean I shouldn't have kis*"

Her comments were interrupted by him returning her kiss with the same passion and just a bit longer.

"You were saying, you didn't think I enjoyed that kiss Gina or didn't you?"

"Of course I did, more than you know Rick, but like we told Alexis, it's the only thing we can do, I mean you're going to be in London, and me here, I'm sure someone over there is going to steal your heart, and well, I don't want to hurt anymore than it's going to already."

"What if it's you, Gina, I want you to find someone that you deserve, and who deserves you. I want you to be happy, I know that what we have is special, but you're a woman, a very hot, attractive and sexy woman and it won't be long before the guys are lining up trying to win your heart. I know it's going to hurt in one way, but make me happy in another, sounds stupid I know."

"You big lug, it's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me, and it's not dumb. I feel the same way, but promise me, please tell me when you meet her, before the press gets hold of it, please. I almost died the first time I saw Beckett accompany you to a social function and read all the gossip. I know you were free, and it wasn't any of my business, but it still hurt, I guess my heart hadn't gotten the memo."

"I'm sorry, I really am, I treated you worse than how she treated me, and I really want your forgiveness. I promise you, I'll tell you, hell, as dumb as I am in relationships, I may be asking your advice"

"Just don't be asking about any for the bedroom, one you don't need it, and two, I don't want to know about it, it's killing me to keep our relationship the way it is, but I know it's for the best. Alexis was so sweet last night, giving us permission to try it again, that meant a lot to me. Our girl is a woman now Rick, she's going to have a magnificent life, you've seen to that, and I'm glad I will be along for the ride."

"Yeah, she's made it clear who Mom is, and your position in the family so Thank You for loving her as much as you do, I don't know where I would be if I hadn't had her all these years."

"Well before you make me cry again, how goes the writing, make much progress?"

"Some, that one is complete, ready for you, I think I need a few more days for this one, and then I have the finale, I haven't pulled out of the vault, that only needs the ending written."

"WHAT? You have three books to complete the series, and this one is complete except for edits?"

Rick blushed, looked down, "Well, I used to miss deadlines so you'd call, it was the only way I could hear from you without making a move that would say, Hey, I still love you, and even though we can't live together, I want you as my best friend. You know me and my ego, and I should have just picked up the phone and called you."

Gina was crying softly, and Rick thought he had hurt her feelings somehow or overstepped,

"Hey, hey, I'm sorry Genes, I didn't mean to overstep, I mean*"

She turned to face him, took his face in both of her hands and kissed him sweetly, "You jackass, I lived for those calls, I used to pretend I hadn't received your email just so I could talk to you. Boy, what a couple of idiots we were," she kissed him again, but heard Paula and Alexis talking loudly so as to give them notice they were now up. She stole one last kiss, and then turned to pick up the finished manuscript.

"Good Morning Mom, Daddy, how long have you two been up, I see breakfast is made and in the warmer." Alexis kissed her Dad's cheek and went over and hugged Gina, and kissed her as well, something was said softly, as Alexis wiped a tear from her eye. Rick heard, "Oh no baby, they are happy tears"

"Good morning Ricky, Gina, how's it going this morning?"

"Well, he's got one book done, ready for final edits, the next one he estimates a few days, couple of weeks for final edits, and get this Paula, he has completed the finale already, he just needs to add an ending."

"Damn Ricky, what are you Patterson in disguise" as they all laugh,

"Hey, you need a break and something to eat, let's get breakfast and then I promise we'll disappear and let you stay on track, OK?" Gina was already pulling him off his chair, they walked to the kitchen with arms wrapped around each other.

"Look at those two, it's plain to see they love each other, but they just can't live together, sad, but hey at least they are back to being the loving people they met" Paula observed,

"You know Paula, relationships are the one thing I still haven't figured out, how can two people who love each other, not be able to live together, guess I still have some growing up to do," Alexis said lowly,

"Sweetie, if you ever figure that out, bottle it and then watch the money roll in, people have been trying to figure out the secret of what makes relationships work for years,"

Xx

True to their word, after breakfast, the ladies left, Gina had some shopping to do, Paula needed to retrieve some contracts she had mailed to the post office, and Alexis, just wanted to spend time with the lady she called Mom, one that she knew would soon be leaving her life, whether it be when she went to college, or when her Dad left, things were about to change.

Rick was in the groove, as he returned after breakfast and picked up where he left off. The first novel he had written in the series was Heatwave, he had just completed the follow up **Rising Heat**, it was based on events when things were still good, or he was naïve. Gina was going to love it, because he kept it positive between the two, even advancing the dance of a possible romance.

The third novel had just been titled, **Exploding Heat**, and had over 24 chapters turned the tone of a Rook, Heat partnership and potential romance to that of a jealous Nikki Heat after she had been shunned by Rook when he found out about her sexual trysts with another Detective in the Robbery Division.

He had silently moved on, still working as a team, but the dynamic between the two was definitely a powder keg ready to blow. The last chapter dealt with the huge fight between the two, and left the reader wondering, what was next, or was there a next? Rook left for an overseas assignment, and she hadn't found out about it for three weeks when she returned from a vacation with Scheming, the Detective she had hooked up with.

Rick was so engrossed in the writing that the ladies came and went twice, with him still in the zone. Gina and Alexis knew not to stop it, once he was on a roll, sometimes he would write for two days straight. It was always some of his most passionate work Gina had found.

As was his usual habit he had on cordless headphones listening to a variety of music, some happy, some sad, some new age, some oldies but as each song played, a word or phrase would trigger an event or memory of his time at the precinct, he rarely referred to his notes, although he had meticulous reference materials he had gathered. He wanted the reader to feel the passion he was feeling at the time, so he wrote as his emotions led him.

He was listening to a song he truly loved, **_Someone Like You_**, when he got the vision for the ending of the book, and the series. Like the song started, _"I heard that you're settled down, that you found a girl and you're married now, I heard that your dreams came true, I guess she gave you things, I didn't give to you,"._

Rick inserted a time-lapse from the previous novel,** Exploding Hea**t, changed the title to **Extinguished Heat** and re-wrote the plotline. Rook had departed a defeated man in the last installment, while Heat was doing the dance with Detective Scheming. Using the song verse as navigation he began to write about the changes in each of their lives, Heat had returned and promptly broken up with the Detective, as she went searching for Rook.

She was totally shocked to find he never returned from his last assignment and had actually resigned from the news outlet he had been working with for over 15 years. She pressed for more information, and could only find out, his original assignment had taken him to Afghanistan, but he had been wounded and flown to a US Based hospital in London. That was the end of the information trail she could flush out.

Over several chapters and twists and turns, Rick had woven the tail that Nikki finally had received a credible lead, and had taken a vacation when her Captain refused her request for leave, to fly to Reading England. The entire trip Rick had woven an introspective dialogue that Nikki had with herself about Rook. It was beautiful, heartbreaking at times, yet still beautiful, and was truly a diversion from his normal writing style. He wanted to send the series and characters out with a fantastic ending, happy or sad depending upon which character you had rooted for.

After some additional legwork and some force, and intimidation, that had been Heat's style, no sense to change it now, she finally located him, in a very well to do city outside of London. She barely recognized him, he was with a young lady, and truly looked happy. She walked right by them in one of the shops, hoping, and almost certain he would recognize her. His eyes remained fixed on the young lady who was just as lost in his eyes.

Rick paused, replayed the song once again, to hear the verse, (_I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited_  
_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it, I had hoped you'd see my face, and that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over, never mind, I'll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best for you, too_  
_"Don't forget me, " I beg, "I'll remember, " you said, sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead)_

Taking a moment, he looked out, the sun was now high over the beach, the quiet sounds of the waves crashing on the shore, and the gentle breeze reminded him, what he needed to do. Almost a self-fulfilling description, he wrote the end of Rook and Heat. After she couldn't get his attention, she approached him,

"Rookie? Jameson Rook, is that you?" she tried the oh my God what are you doing here approach,

He looked up and away from the young lady, to see her, but it wasn't happiness she saw in his eyes or on his face.

"Hello Nikki, let me introduce you to my fiancé, Yvonne, Yvonne, this is Detective Nikki Heat, the Cop I used to work with, I've told you about."

"You're a far cry from New York Detective, what brings you all this way, I know it's not case related since you don't have jurisdiction here," Yvonne said in a tone to let her know that her territory was marked and to keep her hands off.

"Well, actually, this is awkward, I mean"

"Detective, why don't you talk to Jamison, I'll be right over there love when you're done, no rush," as she pointed to an open-air market across the street, she kissed him then walked the 100 yards across the old street.

"So, you're engaged?" Nikki started,

"Cut the crap Nikki, I know you've been using all the channels, legal and otherwise to locate me, and to answer the question yes I'm engaged,"

"When's the big day?"

"Why, you planning on coming back or sending a gift?" Rook was cold, colder than he had ever been

"Look, Rookie, I know I fucked up, I shouldn't have messed around on you, especially with that dipshit of a robbery detective, Scheming. I thought we could talk, and maybe you*"

"Maybe what Nikki? You kiss me, promise me you'll never do it again, I leave my life here and go running back to you?

"No, I mean, I was hoping that we could at least work things out, we need you back working with the force, it's just not the same"

"Things change, Nikki, I think you said that to me when I asked you why you were shacking up with the Detective when just a few weeks before you were in my bed, I thought we had something." He replied with an even keel, no anger, no longing,

"Jamie, I already said I'm sorry, what do I have to do, beg? I still have some pride, you know you belong with me, not her"

"Nikki, I think it's best to say goodbye now, I forgive you for everything you ever did to me and ask you for the same. When I said things change, I was serious, I don't want to hear about you, I don't want to see you, and I'm not your friend, I'm just someone who used to love you. I wish you luck, but for us, both, remember the good times, and don't look back, I won't be there, Goodbye Nikki"

He turned, walked into the arms of a smiling Yvonne, and Nikki was left to watch him walk out of her life, and off of the pages of the Heat Series novels. The last line in the book was her saying to no one but herself, "Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead, If Only"

Rick completed and saved the document, took a few minutes to quickly proofread today's work, that's where Gina found him two hours later, his head laying against the computer screen sound asleep. He had read the last chapter, and it proved to be as therapeutic to him for his own life, as it was a proper ending for one of the characters, he had breathed life into, relaxed he fell asleep.

Gina kissed him sweetly, and got him to his bed to lie down, he would have a terrible stiff neck if he didn't move out that position. She glanced down at the final pages on the printer, and cried, he really had done it, he had ended the Heat series and ties to Beckett, maybe now he could finally begin to heal. She went to leave his side but a big arm wrapped around her, she looked into his blue eyes, Stay, just for a little while, no funny business I promise. I just need to feel someone who loves me for who I am for a few minutes.

She turned, wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly, "I'm here Rick, I'll always be here. Now sleep Sweetie, I promise I won't leave you" she kissed him gently, and arranged his pillow, three hours later Alexis and Paula found them on the bed, showing all the love in the world,

"I just don't get it," Alexis said quietly,

"Well, that's two of us kiddo, come on, they need some rest,"

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted.**

**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**

**Previously **

"_**Rick, you and I both know that I could never pay market price, I don't have your budget and what I paid for your gift, isn't really important, it was in my budget, I'm just glad you got it, and you like it as much as you seem to in your text, Once Again, Happy Birthday, maybe we can grab a coffee soon and talk.**_

_**Kate**_

_**The answer came within a minute,**_

"_**As I said Kate the gift was really thoughtful and I love it, as for coffee, I'll be out of town for quite some time, so maybe another time,**_

_**RC**_

_**There it was, he was leaving again, she could only wonder where and if Gina would be with him on this trip, of course, she would, who was she kidding. They were back together and he just didn't want to say anything to her, since as she had reminded him her personal life was none of his business, guess paybacks are truly a bitch.**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 12**

**Hampton's Beach House**

**Three Weeks Later Monday, 7:00 AM**

Rick couldn't believe it, today was finally the day, today he would start the journey to begin his next phase, ghostwriting for his boyhood hero, and for such a handsome salary. He had been packed, and ready for days, and what made it even more special was he was traveling with his pumpkin, she was even getting school credit, Gina, and Paula, the three most important women in his life. He was thrilled to be able to share the achievement with them, no one could have received more support from any group as these ladies had, even when he was being a jerk to one, or them all.

Gina slipped into the bedroom, and sat down on the bed beside him, taking his hand.

"I won't ask if you're excited, hell I know just how much you wanted this, and to have turned it down once and now getting such a lucrative deal, I guess I'm starting to believe in the Universe." She smiled, as she kissed his cheek,

"What do you mean Gina, the second time, you weren't supposed to know about the first time, I mean" he stammered, and stuttered,

"Rick, I knew, I was hoping that I was part of the reason you stayed, but we both know why you did. Now, it's not important. I got to work my way back to your life, so I guess I should thank her." She smiled, and patted his leg as she took his hand in hers, "Hey, you're going to be a HUGE success, you know how I know that? I know you, Richard Castle, I loved your writing even before I met you, from the first manuscript you submitted, I was a fan. I know you are going to knock their socks off, believe me, this time Love" she kissed his cheek.

"Thanks, Gina, I really appreciate your support, you don't know how much it means having you heading up the American Operations, I'm so proud of you, and no matter what you think, you got the job ALL on your own, I swear."

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Rick, I wish I could believe that, but I was considered for the position, BECAUSE of you, it doesn't matter if you said anything or not, Gina Castle Cowell, your name placed me in a great bargaining position and Paula did the rest."

Rick smiled, and took her hand, "Well we better get out there before our daughter has visions of us doing all the things, we said we couldn't, but Genes, Thanks, thanks for putting up with me."

Xx

**Heathrow Airport**

**London England Tuesday, 5:47 PM LOCAL TIME, (12:47 PM New York Time)**

Rick and the ladies had boarded a non-stop direct flight to Heathrow at 2:55 AM the previous day, 10 hours, 23 minutes later, and a 5-hour time difference had them a bit confused and totally worn out from traveling, even first class. They were picked up by the limo and taken to the Berkeley Hotel, all accommodations were arranged by Fox Run, no one is more pleased than Paula Haas, especially now that she got to enjoy without worrying about transportation or lodging. They all agreed to meet at 7:00 PM in the restaurant, now they all needed to get some sleep.

Xx

**12****th**** Precinct NYPD**

**Same Time Frame – Three weeks later**

Kate had returned to work last week and had kept her head low, and mouth shut. The boys had said hello, but she could tell, the strain she had put on their relationship was present, and had not gone away. The only break she had caught, was Montgomery was on vacation for two weeks. He was probably trying to recover after almost having his career ended by his lack of control of his precinct until the following Monday. Roz Karpowski was the senior Detective, and acting Captain, a role Kate had filled numerous times in the past, but for now, she was glad to be just a worker bee.

By Wednesday it was apparent to everyone in the precinct, the team that used to be so close was now a dysfunctional group of individuals, going through the motions of being a team. They all knew it, each of them, but either didn't know how or have the strength to face the facts. It was Karpowski that called a meeting on Wednesday before lunch,

"Kate, Javi Kevin, Look I know I am just filling in for Roy, trying to keep the paperwork down to a minimum when he comes back Monday, but he calls daily, and wanted to know how you three were getting on.

"I couldn't lie, so last night he told me to get and I quote, "get those assholes in a room and tell them to figure it out, I have enough to deal with when I come back. If they won't or can't I will, and that team won't exist anymore their choice."

"Hey I'm sorry guys like I said I'm the messenger, he's pissed, as you guys know, he's still reeling from that letter of reprimand in his file, over thirty years as a cop, first time he ever got one, so you can understand."

"Yeah Roz, I got it, Thanks. If you can excuse us, I think the three of us need to talk, it's overdue, and my fault so let's get that corrected now"

"Sure, thing Kate, Good Luck, and again, I'm sorry" as she headed to the door, Kate locked it behind her, then lowered the blinds.

"OK, the floor is open, go ahead, either of you let me know why and how badly you're pissed at me. Let me just say that I know this is on me, so don't hold back, let's get it out and fixed, I need to have one thing in my life I can count on, especially now."

"What's that supposed to mean Kate, and where the hell did you disappear to without a word, we're your partners, I thought we were your friends, why did you leave us in the dark again." Esposito wasn't cruel but he wasn't pulling any punches,

"OK Javi, you deserve that answer, I'm sure that Roy kept it professional and only told you I was suspended for three weeks. Here's the full story, I was an ass, Josh kept pushing me, nagging me about me and Castle having something going on, and saying it would be great if he could come to see me when he knew he would be in surgery for days. I fell for it, I forced the Desk Sargent to add his name to the cleared roster for the precinct and homicide floor, I guess I got pretty forceful.

"Well you guys knew of the bomb, the freezer, and how Castle had taken his inner lining out of his coat to wrap around me, damn fool could have died, but anyway, when you guys declined the invitation for the drink, I thought it would be Rick and I. We were out in the hall, talking then suddenly he just said he needed to go home, get some rest. Then I felt Josh slip his arms around me, marking his territory as Roy said, and Rick left defeated.

"I texted him that evening, tried to get him to talk to me, I think his answer when I asked if he wanted to talk to me about anything that got interrupted was_ 'Nope I'm good._', which floored me. The next thing I know is Roy is calling me telling me to open the email from Rick up, and Weldon was having a cow, then I found out he had quit and wasn't coming back. I must have sent him a 100 voice mails even more texts.

"In the meantime, Roy told me to enjoy the weekend we'd talk Monday, when I came in, he spoke to me in a tone I had never heard, told me I was suspended and to place my badge, keys, and gun on his desk, and get the hell out of his sight, that's when I saw you guys on my way out.

"I couldn't spend three weeks in my apartment, I had already caught Josh cheating with a big boobed nurse at the hospital and tossed his ass to the curb, so I had no one, nowhere to go. I used the travel voucher Rick gave me for Christmas last year, and went out of town, to the Virgin Islands to get away and cry.

"When I got back Lanie let me have it, and told me that you guys were pissed and hurt at me, I understand but guys I'm sorry. Castle's gone, I lost him, my ex-boyfriend is the slimeball you all told me he was, and my mentor, friend, and captain, also got into trouble because I was placating some cheating Doctor.

"I'm sorry, that's the story, I know you deserved better, but guys, I was in no shape to be coddled or consoled, I needed some time to think back on my actions, yours as well Javi, towards Castle. I allowed you to pile on and that was wrong, so you owe Rick and apology, I already sent mine, no response so I wouldn't expect one either, but at least he will know we recognize we fucked up and own it, now what do you have to say?"

Kate stood there, on the verge of tears, her face matched Kevin's and even Javi had softened, she waited them out,

"We, eh, I didn't know any of that Kate, I'm sorry, I know how close you and Roy are, I'm sure he'll forgive you, and Rick, hell everyone knows he's crazy about you, just let him cool off."

"Not likely Kev, he left for England Monday, not sure when he's coming back, I only found out by accident when I heard Alexis talking on the phone to one of her friends when I was going to try to go see him.

"I invited him for coffee, told him to call me anytime, but he declined, just told me perhaps sometime in the future when he finally called me back on his birthday to thank me for his gift. I decided to go take a coffee to him, Alexis was outside the entrance to the coffee shop, chatting away a mile a minute, the bad part is he's not only going with her, but Gina and Paula are also there with him too."

"Kate, it's Castle you two always have your spats, it works out, I mean I don't know what you call what you two have, but anyone can see he loves you, and if you're honest Kate, you love him and have for a long time."

"Well, thanks Javi, but that ship has sailed, it landed in the UK, and I have no idea if or when he's coming back. Now what do we have to do to work this out, I'm truly sorry you guys caught hell for me, and for me running as usual."

"Well, we'll let it go" Kevin started, and Javi added "this time, but no more Kate, we're partners and I don't want Roy splitting up this team any more than you guys."

"Agreed," as she pulled them in for a group hug. "Now let's go kick some ass, and do what we do best."

Xx

**Fox Run Publishing, London England**

**Wednesday, 8:00 AM Local Time (3:00 AM NY Time)**

Alexis was off for a tour of the University, Rick, Gina, and Paula were picked up by the limo promptly at 7:40 AM as Rick had been advised by a text from his new Administrative Assistant, Elizabeth (Beth) Smithers he received the day before. She would greet them, show them a general tour, then prepare for their meeting with Lord Barrow, Managing Partner at 9:15 AM. The limo was prompt and the ride to the publishing house was less than ten minutes away. As soon as it pulled up to the VIP section, the driver came around, assisted Paula, then Gina, as Rick existed from the opposite side.

The first thing they saw was a beautiful brunette, about 5'7", dressed very stylishly and professionally, but her physical attributes were clearly obvious even under layers of clothes. Gina held Rick's hand a bit tighter, as she came closer till she finally reached them.

"Good Morning, I'm Elizabeth Smithers, but please call me Beth, welcome to Fox Run Publishing. It's our honor to have you all. Mr. Castle, Ms. Castle-Cowell, and Ms. Haas. If you need anything during your stay please don't hesitate to ring me, Mr. Castle I have been assigned as your Administrative Assistant, Lord Barrow will explain my role in-depth, but my job is to ensure you can focus on writing, everything else, please defer to me, and I will make sure your needs are met."

Gina didn't see it but she knew Paula was rolling her eyes for sure when the word needs came up, well if she were honest, she was hoping it wouldn't be the same definition that Paula's gutter mind had jumped to. They had their tour, and Beth was not only beautiful, but very intelligent, she knew literature, and especially Rick's works, almost like she had read all of his works. At 9:00 AM, they were afforded a tea break, with the warning that Lord Barrow was a stickler for being on time. At exactly 9:14 AM Beth's phone vibrated and she said,

"Well, it's showtime, shall we?" as she opened the door to a huge office with original paintings on every wall, most prominent was one of Sir Ian Fleming, creator, and author of James Bond, and a personal friend before he passed with Lord Barrow.

Seated behind a desk that was large enough to fill one of the rooms in Rick's suite was a man, in his 50's hair that once had been dark, but the shades of silver were overtaking the brown, as he stood, he bowed slightly to them, "Good Morning all, Beth. I see that Beth has told you about my pet peeve, tardiness for meetings, so I thank you for being prompt. Rick, may I call you that Mr. Castle,"

"Please do so Lord Barrow, Mr. Castle makes me feel older than I already am," he smiled,

"As I was saying, Rick, you are fortunate to get Beth as your AA, she is one of our best, we are putting a huge investment in this effort and want to ensure you have everything you need to produce a winner for our next release. I'm afraid Sir Ian would have sacked me had he still been alive after the last two feeble excuses that were released.

One of the reasons why I'm back in charge of operations and why we needed Ms. Castle-Cowell to head the US Operations. She had a tremendous interview, the board's vote was unanimous, so any thoughts that you're here because of your name should be dismissed.

As you can tell, I am blunt, sometimes it's not wise, sometimes it's not polite, but I make no apologies for my style. However, I will apologize now if I say something hurtful, please bring it to my attention. Beth has called me out a few times in the 4 short months she's been here."

Rick looked first at Gina, and then to Beth, both wore matching shades of red blushing from the compliments. It was great to hear, they were totally invested in the project, all he had to do was write, and Beth and the staff would take care of everything else. Rick couldn't help noticing Paula looking a little disappointed,

"Lord Barrow, if I may be so forward, there is one arrangement that we discussed before arriving I think you should be aware of. Gina, I mean Ms. Castle-Cowell upon my recommendation has retained Ms. Paula Haas to assist her, especially when it comes to the American Press."

"Thank you, Rick, Gina, and welcome Ms. Hass, eh Paula since we are all using first names. I had hoped that some pre-planning had gone into the first release, I'm very pleased that it has progressed to the action stage, far past just the planning, especially in areas where expertise is definitely needed. Is this a consultancy type of role Paula?"

"Exactly sir, you see, I have owned my own firm for, well quite a while, since I share a trait with you, I too am very blunt, and the only one who wouldn't or didn't fire me was myself" that comment brought a laugh, and eased the entire room.

"Very well, Gina, Paula please enjoy your time here in our country, and I look forward to the start of our operations calls starting in two weeks, Great Idea Gina, if you have any other needs or requests, Beth is empowered to make it happen, Here's to a great working relationship, and welcome to the Fox Run family." With that, he disappeared behind two double doors,

"Shall we? I have the limo standing by for us, I hope you don't mind but I will be joining you at the hotel, I have the suite directly across from you until we can settle on the housing choices." Beth said, as eyes from all were ready to explode, this was really happening. Once again Gina took Rick's hand, he responded by wrapping his other free arm around her waist, as they followed Beth to the start of a new future for them all.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted.**

**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**

**Previously **

_**Kate had returned to work last week and had kept her head low, and mouth shut. The boys had said hello, but she could tell, the strain she had put on their relationship was present, and had not gone away. The only break she had caught, was Montgomery was on vacation for two weeks, (probably trying to recover after almost having his career ended by his lack of control of his precinct) until the following Monday. Roz Karpowski was the senior Detective, and acting Captain, a role Kate had filled numerous times in the past, but for now, she was glad to be just a worker bee.**_

_**By Wednesday it was apparent to everyone in the precinct, the team that used to be so close was now a dysfunctional group of individuals, going through the motions of being a team. They all knew it, each of them, but either didn't know how or have the strength to face the facts. It was Karpowski that called a meeting on Wednesday before lunch,**_

"_**Kate, Javi Kevin, Look I know I am just filling in for Roy, trying to keep the paperwork down to a minimum when he comes back Monday, but he calls daily, and wanted to know how you three were getting on. **_

"_**I couldn't lie, so last night he told me to get and I quote, "get those assholes in a room and tell them to figure it out, I have enough to deal with when I come back. If they won't or can't I will, and that team won't exist anymore their choice."**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 13**

**12****th**** Precinct NYPD**

**The Following Monday (6:00 AM NY Time, 11:00 AM London time)**

The remainder of last week had gone much better for Kate and her crew, there was still a slight hesitation on thoughts, some awkwardness, but it got better each day. Kate only hoped it would be enough for Captain Montgomery, no longer calling him Roy, he was every bit a superior officer and she wouldn't lose sight of that again.

**FLASHBACK to Saturday**

Lanie had joined Javi, Kevin, and Jenny with Kate for a night out, it happened to be at the Old Haunt, Javi's favorite choice, since even during all of the turmoil, they never paid a tab at the bar. Bryan, the General Manager who actually ran the operations for Rick, had told them, he would get fired if they ever paid a bill, regardless of what was going on in their lives. Javi had no shame, taking Rick's generosity even during periods of not talking to or ganging upon him to protect something that Kate could have said or done. Kevin was often embarrassed, but Kate cleared the air,

"Guys, we're here to celebrate still being together, well at least till I talk to Roy on Monday, and I wanted you all to know how much I appreciate everything you have, and still do day in and day out for me. Here's to partnership" as she lifted her glass in a toast.

The remainder of the table joined in the toast and then Javi turned serious,

"You really don't think the Cap will split us up do you, Kate? I mean look at our results, we've had the best solve rate for the last three years straight."

"Javi, I don't know, I wish I did. I know he was angrier with me than he's ever been, throw in that pressure from Mayor Weldon, and I just can't guess what he's going to do. I know I can't use the solve rate, it's not lost on him or Mr. Mayor that the rate went up when Rick joined the team, and before you say it, they're right. Rick did force us to think out of the box, he made us all better cops, so let's just celebrate our friendship tonight, that's not changing regardless of what happens at work."

"You're right Kate, so here's to Rick, wherever you are, whatever you're doing Thanks for all the help," as Kevin raised his glass, for yet another toast. Lanie noticed how hard her friend fought to stay the Bad Ass cop she was, but the tears were in her eyes just waiting to fall.

The night progressed with the boys telling embarrassing stories on each other, Jenny's laugh was contagious and it wasn't lost that she was drinking Virgin drinks, water, or ginger ale with the excuse that her husband was Irish, and one of them had to stay sober. About three rounds later, her cover was blown as Kevin whispered something to her, and she nodded.

"Well we weren't going to say anything but we're pregnant, Jenny's been having a tough time, so that's why we've been keeping it on the down-low. Well, that is till we were referred to a specialist, who specializes in difficult pregnancies, what a difference. She started the shots, and it was less than a week she was back to herself"

Jenny had been holding Kevin's arm, smiling, then she spoke, "Well, I don't know how but Rick found out, everything and the specialist Kevin mentioned is at John Hopkins, is extremely expensive and is booked months if not years in advance, guess who pulled strings? Yep and get this, we can't even pay for parking Rick has it all covered, so we owe him a great deal, as a person and a friend." She gushed, "we'll never be able to repay his kindness"

Lanie spoke up, "Oh Sweetie, he doesn't do it for paybacks, or for recognition, he does it because he cares about people, all people. You guys probably don't know this, but last Thanksgiving our Church took the day to serve the poor in a hunger kitchen, guess who was there and made me promise not to say anything?

"Not only Rick, but he had Alexis with him, she told me later that her Dad wanted her to know just how fortunate she was in life, and to never treat people based on their income levels. He told her 'I just got lucky, twice, or we would be right there with them' whatever that meant.

"It meant that he had written a best seller in college, yet squandered the money on personal items like trips, girls and partying. He told me once that he was so afraid of having blown his one chance at fame until he hit it with Black Pawn, he was much more prepared for the wealth and fame that came with it." Kate added, looking off in the distance as she remembered one of the few times Rick actually talked about himself in such a sincere way.

"Well all I can say is that man is NOT like your typical rich guy, he gives to almost everyone and anyone, so wherever he is I hope he's happy." Kevin, who had consumed a few drinks slurred, showing the bromance he had for Rick, thus earning the title of Castle Junior. The night was a huge success, Kate had managed to hold the tears in, and hugged each as they left.

Sunday was a very long day for her, it seemed like her thoughts turned to Rick with every song, every picture, she was just hopeless and she needed to let it go, she had put the ball in his court, and from what she had seen so far, that's where it was going to stay.

**PRESENT DAY**

Roy was a creature of habit, even after vacations he always arrived at 6:10 AM, had his first coffee as his computer booted up, and by 7:00 AM had dealt with the Oh My God's from One PP so he was there and ready for his people, the rank and file. He walked into his office, turned on the light, and then headed to the break room, as he passed Kate he mumbled, "Welcome Back Detective, we need to talk after I get settled in."

"Thank You, Captain, Yes Sir, ready to talk when you are sir." She was keeping it professional, for both their sakes, she didn't know the extent but she did know that Roy had taken a hell of a beating from first the Mayor, then the Commissioner who also had his ass handed to him by Mayor Weldon.

About ten minutes later, Kate had heard his desk drawer open and close, not a good sign, he had poured some liquid courage into his coffee which usually meant he was about to deliver bad news. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, perhaps less than a minute in real-time, she heard him bark, "Beckett, my office now"

"Sir yes Sir" as she appeared at his office door, knocking out of courtesy. He motioned her in, and she resolved herself for perhaps one of the most serious discussions in her life.

She stood until he directed her, "Take a seat Detective, we're going to be here a while" as he walked over and closed and locked his office door. Since he was a man with a female subordinate, the curtains remained open and his lights on high so the office was visible from almost the elevator. She wasn't the only one playing it by the book.

When she sat, she saw the age lines on his face, the worry marks, God where they there the last time they talked, had she just not noticed,

"First, let me say that I apologize for losing my temper with you Detective, your punishment was fair, but I allowed my disappointment in a friend to take over my duty as your CO to administer any punishment in an empathetic manner, for that I apologize.

"I am interested in hearing your side of the story, what made you think you had the power, to force your personal friend, lover, or whatever he was into a secure location, and are you aware of how many regulations you have broken. Let me say this, your actions garnered attention from those higher, much higher than this office, and now they are waiting for you to screw up so they can swoop in and finish you off."

"Yes Sir, I am aware of my actions, I did conduct a complete introspective review and also have sought the counsel of our department psychologist. Unfortunately, my first appointment is not until the end of this week, but I remain committed to regaining not only yours but the trust of your superiors as well. I understand you suffered a hit to your unblemished record, and I apologize for bringing that action to you Sir." He held his hand up

"Let's clear the record, shall we? We both know that Rick has called Mr. Mayor and had the letters of reprimand removed from both our files, but the bigger loss is the loss of his contributions in raising your team to the highest closure rate in the city. Once you reach that goal, it is expected you maintain it, at a minimum, and that doesn't change because you lost a key member, is that understood?

"Sir, yes Sir. We had a team social and meeting Saturday to mend the fences, so to speak and strategize how we could achieve that sir."

"Very well, time will tell if you will be successful, but Detective, I can tell you, your actions earned you two very powerful enemies who would love to see nothing more than your removal from this department, do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal clear Sir."

"Very well, your team and your leadership is on probation for the next 90 days, if I'm not happy with the results, or interactions between the team, I will split your team, and reassign as necessary, is that understood Detective?"

"Understood Sir"

"Very well, Dismissed"

He had already begun to read the report summary from the last two weeks from Roz before she stood, it was truly going to be a new dynamic at work, one she hoped she could hold on to even as pissed off as he still was, she didn't want another leader. She left his office, went to the breakroom for her coffee, then summoned Kevin and Javi to give them the scoop, no room for error now, no games just work.

Xx

**Berkeley Hotel**

**London England**

**Monday, 8:00 AM Local Time (3:00 AM NY Time)**

Elizabeth Smithers, AKA Beth, had moved into the penthouse across from Rick's, and was busy with not only Rick, but also Gina, Alexis, and even Paula, to ensure they all felt comfortable. She decided to interview each of them separately, then as a group and from her notes, she would conduct the first agenda item, locate, secure and move Rick and his group into permanent housing.

Gina had been jealous of the good-looking young lady, only a few years younger than herself, but still every bit eye candy for any man who had her on his arm. She was different from the majority of women with her natural assets, she was sincere, and loved to laugh. She didn't bat her eyes, or openly flirt with Rick, as Gina had thought she would, but remained professional and friendly as she set about to locate the housing that would work best for the next several months, perhaps years.

She and Gina had their interview first since as Beth said, what woman other than his daughter would know his taste better than a wife, Gina had corrected her to a loving ex-wife. The meeting was set for a neural sight, a garden near the hotel, and as Gina approached the sight, she saw Beth had secured seating with two beverages sitting on the table.

"Hi Beth, I hope I'm not late, I got a bit turned around and actually exited the wrong door."

"No, you're right on time, which door did you go out, the one that dropped you by that awful smelling dry cleaners, I don't know what they use, but it makes my eyes water. I can't tell you how many times I did the same thing when I first moved here" She laughed, easing Gina's concerns,

"Come to think of it, the smell was a bit pungent, now you mention it. Did you move here? I thought you were born and raised here?" Gina said,

Beth smiled, "Born here, raised till I thought I knew everything at age 15, moved in with an older boyfriend, and wound up a mess. I finally got straightened out and went back to school on a grant, still had to wait tables nights to pay the rent."

"Wow, my hat's off to you, great accomplishment to work your way through school after such a rough start. Where did you move from, and are your parents still here?"

"Well, the older boy, actually I wound up marrying him at age 18, miscarriage at age 19, finally restraining order at age 20 when he broke my jaw, and my parents agreed to take me back. I was living in Philadelphia PA; God was that place cold. Mom is still alive, but we lost Dad two years after I got home, just glad we were good when he passed. I know how hurt he had been at me, so glad to receive his forgiveness."

Gina instantly had a new respect for this lady who had seen some hard times in her life, not the polished society chic she had first tagged her as.

"Well, Rick hasn't had an easy life, maybe that's what makes him so damn lovable, he always remembers his roots and helps everyone. I had a hard time understanding that when we first got together, I always had everything I needed, most of what I wanted and gave little thought to those less privileged.

"He's always helping some cause, or someone, it's nothing for him to give a man on the street a few hundred dollars, and when I asked him why, he just told me it made him feel good. I learned what he meant the 7 years we were married."

"I'm sorry about the divorce, I followed his career when I first returned, and I have to say, I had a poster of him on my wall, my Mom is a fan as well. When I told her, I got the job she begged me to meet him, but that wouldn't be appropriate, I'm sure he wouldn't like that."

Gina laughed, "You have to be kidding me, you had a poster of Rick on your wall, I thought I was his biggest fangirl when I was younger. It's good to hear I wasn't the only one, God he was, hell still is a hunk"

"No argument there Gina, so, eh, I noticed you two are still very close, so is there still anything, I'm sorry, I'm completely out of line asking about my boss's personal life."

"Beth, we love each other, a great deal, BUT we both know that we're not the one to spend the rest of our lives together with when I got back into his life, it's been just kissing, nothing more, since I know someone is going to steal his heart, and I can't bear to lose the emotional and physical relationship. Don't get me wrong, we'll always love each other, but not enough to re-marry, that probably sounds crazy."

"Actually, it makes a lot of sense Gina, and thank you for being so open. The man that helped bring me back to my senses, well, I loved him, but as you say, not the marrying kind of love, so unfortunately, he couldn't understand as you and Rick have obviously done. He left, not on the best of terms, I heard later that he had passed away from a car accident, I never got to say goodbye so that haunted me."

"Well, I know you'll get to know Rick very well if you're asking is he still promised to me, the answer is no, BUT, don't start anything with him if you're not certain. One of the reasons he's here is because of a woman who tore his heart to shreds."

"You're referring to the real Nikki Heat or Kate Beckett, Gina, I know it's very early, but I just wanted to be sure I'm not treading in waters where I should stay out of. You've worked with Rick while having a personal relationship, I'm sure you both know just how difficult it is. I promise you, I won't, nor will I allow any female on this side of the continent to hurt him, I hope that helps."

"More than you know, Beth, more than you know."

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted.**

**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**

**Previously **

"_**I'm sorry about the divorce, I followed his career when I first returned, and I have to say, I had a poster of him on my wall, my Mom is a fan as well. When I told her, I got the job she begged me to meet him, but that wouldn't be appropriate, I'm sure he wouldn't like that."**_

_**Gina laughed, "You have to be kidding me, you had a poster of Rick on your wall, I thought I was his biggest fangirl when I was younger. It's good to hear I wasn't the only one, God he was, hell still is a hunk"**_

"_**No argument there Gina, so, eh, I noticed you two are still very close, so is there still anything, I'm sorry, I'm completely out of line asking about my boss's personal life."**_

"_**Beth, we love each other, a great deal, BUT we both know that we're not the one to spend the rest of our lives together when I got back into his life, it's been just kissing, nothing more, since I know someone is going to steal his heart, and I can't bear to lose the emotional and physical relationship. Don't get me wrong, we'll always love each other, but not enough to re-marry, that probably sounds crazy."**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 14**

**Berkeley Hotel**

**London England**

**Thursday 1:00 PM Local Time (8:00 AM NY Time)**

Alexis and Paula were preparing to leave to return to the States, and Rick was having trouble dealing with his little girl, leaving, not knowing how long it would be until he saw her again. Gina had held his hand, consoled him, and strengthened him when he got weak, Alexis wasn't much better. She had confessed that she was worried about her Dad, and who would be there to take care of him after next week when Gina returned to start the American Operations of Fox Run.

She had confided in her Mom, that the big worry she had was that he would be lonely and just do something stupid, drinking or with some bimbo.

"Baby, I know what you're saying but you have to trust your Dad, he's much stronger, in a much better place than when the Detective put him on the skids, so trust him please. Watch for the signs in our SKYPE calls, and if necessary, I'll call Beth to tighten the reigns on him. You know she loves your Dad don't you Sweetie?

"WHAT? How do you know, I mean Mom, you and Daddy? *"

"We love each other Sweetie, but he deserves to be In Love with someone, I don't know if it's Beth, or if someone else, but I know your Dad isn't anywhere near ready for a relationship with anyone, well anyone but us. I like Beth, she and I talked woman to woman and she already knew why he was here, and who broke his heart. She promised me that she wouldn't or nor would she allow anyone else to start anything with him until he was ready. That made me feel much better, even though it's going to hurt like hell when he does" tears come to her eyes, and Alexis is now crying,

"Mom, I just don't understand, you love each other, but not in love? What's the difference?"

"Well honey, you will know that when the time comes, I really can't explain it, but look, I'll be here another week, and I'll make sure Beth takes care of him before I leave, I promise."

Xx

It was a quiet, procession to the airport, Paula trying to lighten the mood, but no one else responding, Beth had arranged everything and even arranged a private room at the airport for their goodbyes, something that Alexis had hugged her neck and thanked her.

"My pleasure Alexis, we'll either see you in the states, or back here when you prepare for Oxford, time will pass quickly, and if you ever get worried, call me at my private number, only your Dad has this, so please don't pass it on."

"Of course, Beth, just take care of him, Mom told me about your posters of him, and just, well just love him for us, OK?"

"Of course," as Beth wiped a tear from her eye and left the family for some quiet time.

It was tough but Rick made it through the goodbye without shedding a tear, Gina couldn't she did love Alexis as if she were her own,

"I'll see you in a week Baby, call me if you need anything, Love ya" as Alexis turned blew a kiss to them, quickly wiped her eye and joined arms with Paula as they walked down the ramp for their flight home.

Beth quietly took Gina's free arm, the other was wrapped around Rick, who was fighting like hell to keep the tears that had pooled in his eyes in place.

"Come on, I have reservations for a light lunch, and there are two places I want to show you I think will fit everyone's taste for Rick's London home and headquarters"

"Beth, that's sweet, but really it's Rick's decision, I mean," she stopped talking as Beth's look just said look at him, she turned her head, and saw Rick with that look on his face, not to argue with him.

"Genes, I wouldn't be here if you hadn't believed in me, so I asked Beth for a separate office space for you so when you come to visit or for meetings you will have a place to work, I don't want to see you in a hotel."

Gina's tears did fall, again, "Beth, do you see what I mean, he's about the most thoughtful man on this planet."

"I know Gina, now let's get out of here so we can stop the tears, you'll have me crying if we don't"

Gina smiled at her, and just squeezed her arm, "I know he'll be OK, so thank you"

Xx

After lunch the first home Beth showed them was breathtaking. It had 8 bedrooms and 5 baths. Rick was sold the moment he walked into the entrance, as Gina began reading the published fact sheet;

"_**Ravenswood House is a magnificent eight-bedroom detached house, situated in a private enclave on the edge of Kingston Hill and moments from Richmond Park.**_

_**The home offers rooms of immense proportions with high ceilings, period stone, and wooden floors. Entertaining and family living is at the heart of this magnificent property.**_

_**It is alleged that President Roosevelt once stayed at the house to play Billiards! The ground floor comprises a most wonderful drawing room/music room with polished pine paneling; a beautiful dining hall with the capacity to host plentiful guests; a recently fitted kitchen/breakfast room with all modern appliances; a second reception room; a family room; an office, two cloakrooms; utility room with storage; and the indoor heated swimming pool which has doors opening out onto the enclosed private gardens.**_

_**On the first floor, the master bedroom suite has a dressing area and an en-suite bathroom. There are four further bedrooms on this floor, three with en-suite bathrooms, a family bathroom, a further study, and a sitting room. On the second floor, there are three further bedrooms, a study, and a family bathroom.**_

_**Outside the garden is enclosed and has been beautifully landscaped with manicured lawns, mature trees, and plants. To the rear of the garden is a private cottage with a triple garage on the ground floor and a self-contained staff studio flat above."**_

"Beth, would it be too rude to cancel showing the second house, this is it, I mean I don't want to be rude, but I don't want to see anything else, this is perfect. You nailed it, every one of our requirements is here."

Beth took out her mobile phone as she called it, and dialed a number, "Thank you very much, I think we've decided and didn't want to invade your home, pause *** Yes lovely, thank you so very much, have a good day as well"

"Thanks, Beth, this is beautiful, so how long do we have to lease it for?" Rick was curious,

"Oh, we don't lease properties, we bought it, this morning, title changes in one week so when Gina comes back for her first board meeting, she will have her quarters all set up. Gina, do you have a preference for a Bedroom?"

Beth looked over to find not only Gina but Rick as well staring in disbelief,

"What?" she asked,

"You bought the property this morning, may I ask the price, or is that confidential" Rick asked,

"Well they asked almost six million pounds, but took our offer of six million one, hundred to be out of here within the week."

"OK so what's next, is there an address we can start passing out to Alexis, or where does Gina come when she returns?"

"_I think you're asking me do we have a street address, well it's:_

_**1649 Highway A-309**_

_**London, England, SW1W0NZ**_

_**United Kingdom**_

"Don't worry Rick, I'll take care of all the paperwork, I hope you don't mind but I have purchased, well as close as possible the exact furniture in your Loft, and your Town House Gina, so I'll coordinate setting it up with the decorator in the next two weeks,"

"So, what do I do," Rick asked,

"Good question Rick, we need to pick a topic and title, then you can start on your outline and draft, I have the templates to submit for approval by Lord Barrow, with your experience, I doubt you receive pushback at all, but the controls that had been in place for years were discarded, Lord B is restoring them."

Rick and Gina both were still in a state of shock,

"If you don't mind, I'll send you both back to the hotel to rest, could we meet for dinner say 7:30 PM, in the lobby, I'll take care of the reservations and transportation. There are a few things I need to attend to here"

"Sure Beth, we'll see you at the hotel at 7:30 PM, and Thank You, great job with the house. I know Alexis is going to love it."

"I know the quarters over the garage are supposed to be for servants, but I thought if she had some privacy, she would spend some weekends off campus with you and Rick, it's decorated for a younger crowd, "Beth smiled

Gina smiled, "Again, Thank You, that would make her Dad and me very happy, well when I'm here."

Xx

**12****th**** Precinct**

**NYPD, New York**

**Friday 7:00 AM, (12:00 Noon London)**

Kate had almost made it through the week, this had been worse than her Rookie week, at least then she had Mike Royce to lean on, now she was on her own. She knew that no matter what happened, things would never be the same between her and her Captain, he had paid much too high a price for her screwup. They had handled the two cases they had drawn, both with signed confessions, and all paperwork to the DA, in proper order, no screwups to let a perp walk. She was glad to get this under her belt, it had been a long week, even with her team back, she still felt guilty for her actions that had caused hurt.

She had a lunch appointment with Doctor Carter Burke, the NYPD Psychologist she had been forced to see her first year as a Detective, trying to take every step to prove to Roy and the Brass she was working on correcting her flaws. She liked the doctor, well as much as she did anyone poking around in her business. He was at least pleasant, not condescending, and seemed to really care about helping his patients find their solutions.

She arrived for her appointment a few minutes early, filled out the medical insurance forms, past history, and stopped when she got to the short explanation why she was coming back, Why the hell was she coming back? No one was forcing her to, she survived the suspension without screwing half of the islands, that had been her first planned course of action, yet when she got there, she couldn't even have dinner with anyone, she felt like she was betraying Rick.

Her eyes returned to the form, she answered, "Difficult to maintain personal relationships that have meaning," and handed the forms back to the secretary. A few minutes later, her name was called, a kindly looking Afro-American Doctor, stepped forward,

"Good Afternoon Kate, it's good to see you again, please come in."

Kate took the chair opposite the Doctor's desk, avoiding the stigma of a psychiatrist's couch and all of the shame that came with it, even though Doctor Burke was a psychologist.

"Can I get you anything Kate, water, juice, or any beverage?"

"No thank you, Doctor Burke, I'm good, actually I'm on my lunch hour and I don't want to be too late getting back."

"Very well, Kate let's get into it, shall we? What brings you back to see me today"

She took the next twenty-five minutes to explain what had happened with her and Rick, not leaving any details out, she told him as much as she could about the near-death experiences they encountered, then how the bottom fell out when Josh had returned, Rick resigned, her catching Josh in the act, and the fall out from the brass at the NYPD. She ended by saying that this was the end of her first week back, and her Captain knew she was seeking counseling.

"Kate, how did you spend your time on suspension, did you stay in New York, or go out of town?

"I used a Christmas present from Castle, eh, Rick from last year, even if it were for two, I went alone to the Virgin Islands for two weeks."

"That sounds like a beautiful trip, especially compared to New York weather, how did you feel there, did it give you relief from the emotions you obviously were feeling, both from a failed personal friendship, a cheating significant other, and loss of your solace, you place of work"

"Why did you say failed personal friendship, I mean Castle and I are still friends"

"Are you Kate? Or is that just your perception? Being friendly to someone doesn't always mean you are friends."

"Well I sent him the Birthday Card, and well he texted to say thank you, I mean that's what friend do, isn't it?"

"Among other things, Kate, had you called him before that instance and if so, how often?"

She confessed that she had phoned him multiple times daily and texted even more, all without response.

"What do you think motivated Mr. Castle to text you this instance?"

"Well, he received the Birthday card, and the gift I had left for him, a very expensive book. He offered to pay half, so not to put me in a financial burden, he's always been thoughtful like that."

"What was your response?"

"I assured him it was within my budget and suggested we meet for coffee soon,"

"What was his response"

"He said he would be out of town for the next several weeks, perhaps months, maybe next time"

"Ah, I see"

"What, what does that mean, I see. Do you think Castle isn't my friend anymore? Do you think I screwed up so badly there's no hope? Just tell me"

"Well Kate, none of us know, but let's put it this way, he's not knocking down your door to rescue from a burning fire so let's talk more about this during our next session. I would like you to start the journal daily of things you think about Mr. Castle what happened, what you would do differently, how you think your actions made him feel, and how you could change those. I'll see you next week, but call me if you need me before."

Kate was only a few minutes late getting back from lunch, trying to be on her best behavior, and made it through the rest of the day, somehow, it was like a fog had eclipsed her world, when Dr. Burke had said, 'Ah, I see', innocent enough, but Kate was almost positive what his thoughts were, and it hurt to have them vocalized.

As she entered her building Leonard called to her, they had signed for a special delivery letter to her, to save her a trip to the post office, she thanked them and made her way up the stairs.

As she opened the Special Delivery letter, she could barely believe what she was reading, there was a personal note in Rick's handwriting to her clipped to the letter.

**_"Dear Kate,_**

**_Once again, thank you for the thoughtful and expensive Birthday present, it was far too much. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I know you wouldn't take any amount of money from me, so Alexis came up with the idea of a scholarship fund in your Mother's Name. One for deserving students who would pursue justice for the little guy as your Mother did._**

**_Enclosed are the Incorporation Papers, don't be angry but we needed your Dad to be on the Board, so that's why his name is listed. He told me that I was on my own when I finally told you._**

**_Your Dad has reviewed the documents, and funding plan, this should be in place for quite some time in the future, I hope it meets with your approval, and once again, Thank You for the Birthday gift, but please don't ever do that again, it is far too expensive for friends, much less associates,_**

**_All the Best,_**

**_Rick_**

He had created a memorial scholarship in her Mother's name, she cried at how thoughtful a gesture it was, but she also cried with his last line, too expensive for friends, much less associates. I guess that's what she had been reduced to, she couldn't blame him.

The final straw came when she picked up her copy of the paper, and there on the front page of the business section was a picture of Gina, with headlines, _**James Bond invades New York.**_ The article went on to describe how Gina Castle-Cowell was the new American Vice President, charged with the development and launch of Fox Run Publications expansion to a global operation.

For only the second time since she was a little girl, she went to bed fully clothed and cried herself to sleep, the last time the night of her Mothers murder, life could be cruel indeed.


	15. Chapter 15

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted.**

**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**

**Previously **

"_**Ah, I see"**_

"_**What, what does that mean, I see. Do you think Castle isn't my friend anymore? Do you think I screwed up so badly there's no hope? Just tell me"**_

"_**Well Kate, none of us know, but let's put it this way, he's not knocking down your door to rescue from a burning fire so let's talk more about this during our next session. I would like you to start the journal daily of things you think about Mr. Castle what happened, what you would do differently, how you think your actions made him feel, and how you could change those. I'll see you next week, but call me if you need me before."**_

_**Kate was only a few minutes late getting back from lunch, trying to be on her best behavior, and made it through the rest of the day, somehow, it was like a fog had eclipsed her world, when Dr. Burke had said, 'Ah, I see', innocent enough, but Kate was almost positive what his thoughts were, and it hurt to have them vocalized.**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 15**

**Thursday 7:00 AM**

_**1649 Highway A-309**_

_**London, England, SW1W0NZ**_

_**United Kingdom**_

**FLASHBACK ONE WEEK**

Beth had pulled off the miracle of miracles, she had not been seen around the hotel much, after getting Rick setup with the beginning templates and allowable topics to use for his book. She had been coming back to the hotel later and later each night, with only two nights left before she flew out on Saturday, Gina desperately wanted to speak with her one on one. Finally, on Wednesday evening, she texted Rick and Gina to meet her at the hotel restaurant at 8:00 PM for dinner or at least a cocktail if they had already dined.

Rick and Gina were on time, and the set your clock by Miss Prompt Beth was late, she finally showed at 8:11 PM looking nothing like her usual self.

"I'm so sorry for being tardy, but I had one last detail to work out, and it took a trite longer than expected" she exclaimed,

"What are you talking about Beth? We have hardly seen you this week, I mean, I would like to talk to you, and I think Rick has narrowed his selection down for the topic and length of his novel."

"Again, I apologize Gina, but I think you will forgive me, I have to return tonight, but as of tomorrow, Rick, you, and all the family are moving to your new home. It was a bit of work, but we pulled it off. I have to go back this evening starting at 11:00 PM they will be there to stage the furniture and I need to direct where we want it to go."

"How can we help Beth?" Rick asked, still shocked that anyone could pull off this that quickly.

"Well, can you bring me breakfast and a good cup of tea when you arrive in the morning, your limo is scheduled for 6:45 AM, I would greatly appreciate it."

"You did all this work, you are working all night tonight, and all you want is a breakfast sandwich and tea?" Gina scolded

"Yes, Gina, that's my job, to remove all the obstacles so that Rick can write and you can develop a new operations center in the USA, that's plenty of work for us all." She said shyly

"Beth, you are remarkable but don't kill yourself like that. I know why you did it, you wanted me to be assured of the house before I left, but I didn't expect you to work like a machine to pull it off," then Gina saw the grin on Beth's face,

"Do you mean like you and Rick work to meet a deadline, or to rework something someone screwed up last minute like your Uncle did on the last Storm book?" Gina just shook her head,

"I won't ask where you got that information, I am afraid to know, I might get shot" she laughed.

**Present Day**

Rick and Gina arrived promptly at 7:00 AM, with a full carryout breakfast in a carrying case to keep it warm and a thermos of hot water and a variety of teas. They walked in the front entrance and there was Beth, in jeans and a Richard Castle T-Shirt, with white sneakers, hair up in a bun and giving orders to an army of men moving furniture everywhere. Gina had to admit, the T-shirt showed off what God had given her, and he had not been cheap, the girl was built and looked hot, even dressed down.

Rick got her attention, and she squealed with delight when the workers came out and said all complete.

She ran to Gina, hugged her, then hugged Rick, come on, I want to show you, as she walked into what looked like the Loft in New York, into another room which was Gina's townhouse complete with her office, and their bedrooms exactly, down to the pillow covers matching their homes in the US.

"Beth, you have to eat, the water is hot so please make your tea, while we take this all in. Genes, it looks like my Loft", as Gina came out of her side of the split floor plan, "Rick this is my townhouse exactly it looks just like home" they looked over and a very exhausted Beth couldn't wipe the smile from her face.

"Do you like it Gina, Rick, I hope I got most of it right, some items I could only come close to, like your desk Rick, but*"

"Beth, this is FANTASTIC, but where are your quarters?" Rick asked

She led them to the very rear of the home as far away from Rick's bedroom as the house would allow, but with an intercom, if he needed her, to ensure his privacy.

"Why so far away from Rick Beth?" Gina asked,

Beth blushed, "well we'll be spending a lot of time together on the book and I'm sure he will want to be rid of me some time, just for his private time, so I didn't want to invade his space."

"I'm sure you don't have to worry about that Beth, I'm here to write, and to make Lord Barrow proud of the decision to choose me, nowhere near ready for any kind of social life, even if I knew where to begin over here" he laughed.

Gina nudged Rick then whispered something, "Oh, damn, how stupid, I'm sorry Beth, I'm sure you and your boyfriend will want your privacy as well, so I understand now, DUH, see I'm a slow learner", as Gina kissed his cheek, and laughed.

Again, Beth blushed, "No boyfriend Rick, they say this job won't allow anyone to have a personal life and in a sense they are right. I didn't have one before I started so I'm not losing anything."

Gina was amazed at all the work that was done and was busy snapping away all the pictures she could show Alexis the minute she got home Sunday.

"Well, I'll leave you two for some privacy, plus I know I'm in need of a shower, and a few hours of sleep. Please look around and if there is anything that you need, please make a list, I shan't be long, I usually only sleep 3 hours a night anyway. I am taking my breakfast so thank you both, see you in a few hours"

Xx

**12****th**** Precinct**

**NYPD, Friday 7:00 AM**

Kate had busied herself with everything but Richard Castle related events. She had gone back to her YOGA classes, began running in earnest, and even arriving at the NYPD Gym early some mornings to get some sparring in. She found when she released her aggression through physical aggression, she was much less likely to get into trouble during working hours.

Things between her and the boys had almost returned to normal, but Roy was still distant, the last few weeks he had looked worried, and not about anything Kate related. She had talked to her Dad, no one knew it, but she had enrolled in Columbia, to re-start her law degree, she was growing tired of the politics of the police force that seemed to only get worse year after year. She reverted back to the private person she had always been, even Lanie threatening to smack her had no influence, she remained more close-lipped than ever.

Most of the cases proved to be run of the mill, Jack shot Bill over Jill or other simple related incidents that would provoke someone into taking another human life, but each was attacked the same manner, close it, close it tight so no loopholes and no perps walked because of police work.

**Two Months Later**

Ryan got a tip from one of his buddies in Narcotics where they could put some leverage on a local street pharmacist, It seemed the young man was from a privileged family but had a record of manufacture of illegal drugs. The tip proved more valuable than at first thought since it led to not only the manufacturer but also the girlfriend of one of the men suspected in a Cop Killing.

Things were progressing smoothly with the case, until Javi decided to go rogue, and got himself and Kevin captured by the killer. Kate had been tailing them but wasn't part of the initial entry into the building which turned out to be a trap. A heavy, creepy looking guard protected the front of the warehouse where her boys had been taken, tortured for information before they were to be killed.

Times like this made her wish for Castle and his dumb ideas, then she remembered Mike Royce telling Rick about a similar instance, so she got out of the car, pretending to be very drunk, and in various stages of disrobing, her left boob was clearly visible to the creepy guard. She continued toward him, staggering as if playing for an academy award, the guard could not take his eyes off her breast, and as she got closer, made a comment about making her feel good all over, she laughed but when he leaned in to feel, she spun and kicked him in the head, delivering a knockout, even an MMA star would envy.

She crept quietly up the stairs, to see three goons, with Espo with a belt around his neck, and Ryan with his head being forced and held under a trough of water. She knew she only had one chance at saving the boys, so she took out the man giving the orders, then shot the nearest goon in the left knee, the third man tried to make a run for it, but Espo had the presence to trip him and Kate cuffed him to the water pipe coming from the ceiling as she freed the boys.

She walked out to check on the guard, just now realizing she had never fixed her bra and her naked breast had been exposed the entire time, well at least now Royce's story about show them your boobs had some credibility to it. Kate didn't wait to see the boys get a taste of revenge but she did hear some wails coming from the prisoners as she walked toward the guard, still passed out cold.

She adjusted her clothes and called for backup and two ambulances. She heard screams as she turned to see Javi making each of the thugs walk down the stairs to meet the bus, he was showing no mercy, and Kevin was right behind him with the first creep she took out, he had helped him to the stairs, the perp thought he would have assistance down the flight, when Kevin took two steps back and kicked him down the stairs, with him landing in a silent heap near Kate's feet.

Two weeks later, all three were released from the prison ward of the hospital and sent to jail to await trial. Only the ring leader ever made it, the other two were found dead in their cells, highlighting the corruption from within NYPD.

"What do you make of this boss, and oh by the way we think you should dress like you did when you came to help us, lends a whole new light to you," Espo said,

"Well, smartass, it was either show them my boobs or let them shoot the two boobs that work with me, so I figured what the hell, but as far as standard procedure, you two ever pull anything like that again, and I'll have your ass. You could have gotten us all killed,"

"Thanks, Kate, what my partner meant to say was we owe you a huge debt of thanks, for going way past your comfort zone, thanks for saving our asses."

"No Problem Kev, it's what partners do, but what intel did you get back on John Doe #1, the only survivor, we all know someone was afraid of the other two stoolies talking and took them out."

"No one is breathing a word, Kate, whoever is calling the shots is no two-bit crook, but someone that a lot of people fear."

The prisoner, booked as John Doe was sentenced to two life sentences for attempting to kill two NYPD officers, and Kate continued to work hard at both school, and the force. It didn't stop the hurting, but it kept her from going insane every time she saw something about him in the papers. Alexis had just graduated and was preparing to leave for Oxford, the excuse that was given for Rick living on both continents, but Kate knew it was more, much more.

Xx

**Fox Run Publishing **

**London England**

**Same Time Period.**

Rick, Beth, and Gina were all preparing for a big meeting the next day with Lord Barrow, the proposed launch date of the first of five James Bond books written by Richard Castle. Rick had passed all deadlines by miles, once he had the topic, and title approved he was off to the races. Beth was a lifesaver, often supplying the proper English terms for words common to the British.

Using the templates to ensure continuity between the series actually spawned new ideas from Rick, he chose to have Bond work with the CIA to thwart a plot by a Ukrainian National from assassinating the President and Vice President of the US.

The twist came when rather than thank the British, the Americans targeted Bond for masterminding the plot, forcing the agent to flee in not so ceremoniously attractive styles. Lord Barrow loved the originality, it wasn't the rinse repeat, of the last several books written.

The largest discussion came over the title, Lord Barrow wanted it to be a bit splashier, but Rick held firm he wanted it to be Lost Trust, which he thought said it all. Eventually, LB came around and the book's title was Rick's choice. They were meeting soon to layout the dates of pre-publication production efforts, book tours, promotional tours before, and after release.

**Flashback**

Rick had only been back to New York once since he left, to see Alexis graduate with honors, a full year early. Nothing would stop him from that milestone. Beth had accompanied Rick, her task to keep the work tasks moving, as Rick spent a few days with his family. Gina noticed how comfortable the two had become, but said nothing after all this was what they had talked about before he left.

The four days flew by, and as they were leaving the loft, he thought he saw Kate jogging, but then he thought, no, she doesn't even run this way. He kissed Gina goodbye, then held Alexis for the longest time, then after Beth hugged them both, he helped her into the car. What he hadn't seen was the Detective inside the doorway observing it all, and thinking about days gone by, If Only.

Kate had seen Beth, close enough to see how much she seemed to care about Rick, and Gina, letting him go, what the hell was that? Why didn't she fight for him, hell everyone knew they loved each other? She made her way back to her apartment just in time, the rain began to fall outside, ironic, it matched the rainstorm falling from her eyes from her couch, no matter how hard she fought them.

**Current Time**

Lord Barrow was overjoyed with the entire process, Gina had guided the American Operations to exceed the project plan laid out as well, so she was ready to take on the publicity and travel in the US with Paula's assistance. It was a tough decision, but Lord Barrow made the call, readers **WOULD know that the ghostwriter was Rick Castle**, and there would be a tour with Rick, both in the US, headed by Gina, and the UK, headed by Beth.

Rick, Gina, and Beth were given a month to recuperate and reenergize before the final weeks before release. Beth at first had planned to stay in the UK home since her mother couldn't travel, and she really didn't want to impede on Rick and his family.

Gina and she went for a walk, and talk, and then she was coming. Rick wanted to do something for her Mom since he had spoken to her on a few occasions, she was a lovely lady with a cockney accent Rick loved to hear. Gina had an entire series of his books shipped to her home prior to them, (Beth, Gina, and Rick) going to see her before they left. Rick would sign them in front of her, a private book signing if you will.

When they arrived, they smelled fresh baked cookies, and when the door opened stood a carbon copy of Beth, only aged, she was a beautiful lady. As they sat and drank tea, the books were delivered and Rick pulled the surprise of her life, as he sat and signed each book, each with a private message for her.

Beth smiled as she watched her Mom go all fangirl over her boss, and smiled when Gina slipped up and said,

"There's your competition, he's always been a sucker for the older ladies"

Beth blushed, "Gina, thank you but I'm not sure he even knows I am alive, except when we are working, we've had one dinner and gone to one concert in eight weeks, not exactly a hot path to love" she smiled,

"No, but you're playing it right, you're not pressing him, that's what he needs, trust me, he notices. Just be patient, he'll surprise you Beth, and when he does, don't hesitate if you feel about him like I think you do"

"That evident? I'm sorry Gina, I*"

"You have nothing to apologize for, make him happy if you're the one, if not give him room, we all just want him to be happy."

The night flew by, and Gina and Beth reclaimed Rick from his new number one fan, as he left, he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, "Thank you for all of your support, without readers like you, no one would care what I wrote,"

"Elizabeth, you be sure you take care of Rick, come home safely, and call me when you get there"

"Which one of us Mother, me or Rick?"

Her voice came back just as strong, "Rick, sweetie I love you but I can see you anytime" as she laughed, and they were off for a month in the states.

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted.**

**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**

**Previously **

_**Rick had only been back to New York once since he left, to see Alexis graduate with honors, a full year early. Nothing would stop him from that milestone. Beth had accompanied Rick, her task to keep the work tasks moving, as Rick spent a few days with his family. Gina noticed how comfortable the two had become, but said nothing after all this was what they had talked about before he left.**_

_**The four days flew by, and as they were leaving the loft, he thought he saw Kate jogging, but then he thought, no, she doesn't even run this way. He kissed Gina goodbye, then held Alexis for the longest time, then after Beth hugged them both, he helped her into the car. What he hadn't seen was the Detective inside the doorway observing it all, and thinking about days gone by, If Only.**_

_**Kate had seen Beth, close enough to see how much she seemed to care about Rick, and Gina, letting him go, what the hell was that? Why didn't she fight for him, hell everyone knew they loved each other? She made her way back to her apartment just in time, the rain began to fall outside, ironic, it matched the rainstorm falling from her eyes on her couch, no matter how hard she fought them.**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 16**

**Castle's Loft**

**Two Days Later**

Rick, Beth, and Gina had arrived in New York the previous day, but with the time difference, and jet lag, all went straight to bed for a long and deserved nap. Later in the day, they brought Alexis, and Paula up to speed, Martha, finally figured out how to use SKYPE and joined a family call from her touring company appearing in Japan. Paula and Alexis had grown closer over the last several weeks and decided to have brunch ready for them when they awoke. They, well Alexis was doing more teaching Paula than her helping, but they managed to get a great brunch prepared.

Gina had taken the far Guest Room, allowing Beth to have the only other room on the first floor, next to Rick's bedroom. She would be going home as soon as they had eaten and worked out some type of schedule of what they wanted to do for the next 28 days. Lord Barrow had urged them to forget work, to relax.

Beth was almost star-struck as they pulled up to the loft, then when she discovered the entire top floor was all Rick's Loft. Rick was glad to be home, to be with his little girl, and the feeling was mutual,

"Beth, whatever you do, NEVER and I mean never make Rick pick someone or something over his daughter, they will lose every time" she looked so sad,

"Eh, oh, Thanks Gina, but as I said, he doesn't know I'm alive unless we're working, and I see what you mean about Alexis and him, have they always been that close?"

"Yes, and I made the mistake of thinking I could come between them, don't get me wrong, they both love me, BUT there's a bond between them that no woman can compete with, just wanted to spare you from the same mistake I made. As I said, he's noticed you, just keep doing what you're doing, it's good for him, and don't try to rush it, I know that was my biggest mistake."

A few hours later Gina left, agreeing to meet up in a couple of days. Alexis was going to take Beth sightseeing, and Rick had some business he had to take care of with the lawyers, so the next few days would be like ships passing in the night.

Alexis and Beth had just left when Rick's secure cell phone rang,

"Castle" he answered

"Hey Rick, my sources were right, they told me you were back in town, how long you got this time buddy?" Mayor Weldon spoke to him as his best friend, not a political leader.

"Hey you old Dirtbag, still keeping your name out of the scandals I see, good to hear your voice, Bob. We'll be home for 4 weeks then we have to go back for a while, you know in and out,"

"Yeah, Yeah, top-secret I know Ricky, hey do you think you'll have time to meet with me at the office in the next few days, you know we haven't been to lunch in what seems forever."

"Yeah, you're right Bob, tell you what, let me check the family plans and I'll text you, what days are you open and for how long, you're the Big Shot, running a city and all"

"You're the same old ass you always were, tell you what, let's do Wednesday or Thursday next week, gives you time to cancel on all the broads lining up to welcome you home"

"Yeah right, I wish my sex life was half as good as you guys think it is, who's the Ass now, that sounds good, I'll text you what day, say around noon till 3:00 PM?

"Great Ricky, looking forward to seeing you buddy" as the Mayor disconnected.

Xx

Behind the scenes, Mayor Weldon was going to surprise his friend with the award he had been sitting on since the bomb incident. He planned a simple ceremony, Alexis, Gina, and Beth, along with Roy, Beckett, LT, Karpowski, Ryan, Esposito, and those who Rick worked with from the 12th. He planned on calling Alexis to solicit her help to keep it a surprise and to get the folks from home there. Rick shrugged it off, but it was a life-saving event that he was going to be recognized for, whether he liked it or not.

He pulled his phone out and called his God Daughter,

"Hello Uncle Bob, is everything OK? Is Dad OK, is Aunt Mary OK? What's going on?" Came rushing out all in one breath,

"Whoa, Alexis, EVERYONE is fine, slow down sweetie, I have a favor I need from you, and it won't take much for you to help old Uncle Bob out, OK?"

"You know you sound just like Dad before he gets me to promise something, he knows I will hate" she laughs, "Oh Uncle Bob, I have you on speaker, Beth, Dad's Administrative Assistant is visiting from the UK, so be polite."

The ladies heard a huge roar of laughter, "Of course Sweetie, welcome to New York Beth, you let me know if you need anything or if anyone mistreats you, that includes Alexis's Dad, and my best friend."

"Thank you, Mr. Mayor, that is very sweet, Alexis has already told me so much about you."

Bob Weldon explained, well as much as he could that Rick had performed a heroic deed, the last day he worked with Detective Beckett, one that saved hundreds of lives, and he left before he could be recognized. Alexis was scrunching up her nose, as the Mayor spoke and outlined, he wanted the 12th precinct to share the honor, as well as having Gina, Paul and of course his God Daughter and the new friend of the family.

"Uncle Bob, I know you can't tell me much, but would this deed Dad performed, well would he have been extremely cold, like stuck in a freezer cold for hours, can you confirm that at least? It would explain some of his behavior, he looked so sad, and kept the temperature higher in the loft than he ever had."

"I can confirm that he did sustain some exposure to a cold environment Alexis, but baby please no more questions, the big thing is can you find out what day works for your side, then I'll send an order to Roy to have those we want present in my office as a surprise. I know, I know, he hates surprises but it's the only way I can get him here to accept the award."

"Sure, Uncle Bob, let me get on it, and I won't tell Grams if she calls, she's out of the country anyway. If you want to spoil a surprise just let her know it's a secret." As they both laughed, I'll text you when I find out, WED or THUR, Good talking to you Uncle Bob, be sure you bring Aunt Mary around some time,"

"I will, I promise. I have to run, another meeting let me know as soon as you can" and then the dial tone was heard.

"Alexis, I never knew Rick was so connected, I mean, I'm absolutely floored. I lived in Philadelphia for almost three years and couldn't tell you who the Mayor was, you have him as your God Father, WOW"

"Dad and Uncle Bob have been friends since College, to me, he's just my Uncle, he's always been in our lives, he's like Dad, no big ego, no look at me. I think that's why they get along so well."

Alexis called Gina, who patched Paula into a conference call, and it was decided that Wednesday was the better day. As far as Rick was concerned it was lunch, just like those he had enjoyed with his friend for years, little did he know the plotting going on behind the scenes. It was confirmed when Rick asked if anyone had plans for next Wednesday or Thursday, and Alexis, ruled out Thursday, saying she and Beth had a full schedule and tickets purchased. Rick took out his phone texted his good friend,

"We're on for Wednesday, see you next week, Big Cheese, then a smiley emoji, RC"

Xx

**Wednesday Mayor Weldon's Office**

**11:30 AM**

Kate, along with her team, and half of the 12th precinct was in a large meeting hall in City Hall, all they had been told was it was a mandatory meeting with Mayor Weldon, and anyone with any brains would be there, especially since Roy also made it mandatory.

The Captain had been distant, almost like he was troubled by something greater than normal. Kate noticed, so did the boys and Karpowski, but no one could get him to talk about it. The last time this had happened, Rick took him deep-sea fishing for an afternoon, and whatever had troubled him, was gone when he returned. He had been depressed that his daughter was leaving for college, well there was no Rick now, so perhaps that's what he was missing.

"Anyone got any idea what this is all about?" Javi asked, trust him to be the one to poke the bear.

"No, and if you're smart you won't try to get any sneak previews Esposito, the Mayor is still pissed at us, usually this is for something big, like an awards luncheon or to announce, Oh Shit, maybe that's it, maybe Roy's finally retiring. Everyone has seen how down he's been, no matter what he's still in that depressed mode" Kate said with a look of shock on her face,

"I thought of that Kate, I checked with my friend in HR, nothing in the works for that, at least that was open to the general viewing"

"Your friend in HR is that the one you were getting cozy with at the Haunt the last time we all went out," Javi asked,

"Esposito, shut your face, do us a favor go find a corner and sit in it before you piss off someone that will give us grief, and to answer your question, he's a friend the same way you and Lanie are friends, Asshole" Red flushed the faces of both Lanie and Javi, and both made a quick retreat. Roz always told it like it was, Javi would learn someday, maybe.

At 11:50 AM everyone was ordered to take a seat, and remain quiet until the lights came back up. There was some activity in the very front, but Kate couldn't make it out, several new guests were shown to their VIP seats, whatever this was, it was big. Finally, ten minutes later her heart jumped into her throat and she felt as if she were going to pass out, the lights came up and there standing between Roy and the Mayor was Rick, looking every bit as surprised as the crowd.

Gina walked up and gently took his hand and guided him back to his seat of honor between her and Beth. He had the look of a lamb being led to slaughter, then he realized that there were more people behind him, he didn't dare turn around or he would lose it.

Mayor Weldon motioned and the lights came all the way up to reveal one side of the conference room set up as a buffet and the other with chairs for guests. Rick was catching on quick now, and he gave his friend a look,

"Good Afternoon All, At the risk of bodily harm, or at least a few poison pen letters I am braving this to do something my dear and best friend absolutely detests, pulling a surprise on him. Rick, I'm sorry but it's the only way we could get you here to present to you something that has been sitting in my desk for a few months now.

"If you could look around you would see your friends from the 12th precinct who have made their presence here today to congratulate you, and to share your moment of fame. To all those who don't know, a few months back our city and its citizens were in danger, grave danger. Details can't be disclosed but we saw heroic actions from several people that day, today is the day we recognize those actions. Captain Roy Montgomery, Lead Detective Katherine Beckett, and Detectives Kevin Ryan and Javier Esposito, can you come forward please."

As they were filing into the front of the room, Rick's pulse shot up, and Gina's reassuring grip on his hand was supplemented by her other hand gently rubbing circles behind his thumb, she could feel the pulse start to return to normal, and Rick was doing a great job of not letting on anything was bothering him.

"Each of these individuals played a key role in the prevention of loss of life, limb, and property to the citizens of this city and are hereby awarded this proclamation and award." He slipped his reading glasses on and read the following

**Meritorious Conduct Medal**: The Meritorious Conduct Medal shall be awarded to department personnel who distinguish themselves by meritorious achievement or meritorious service. Meritorious actions are those which clearly surpass that which is normally required or expected. The degree of merit need not be unique but must be exceptional and superior.

These group of people certainly met these requirements and more. Although their actions must remain secret, their acts of bravery and service to our city do not, Congratulations to each."

He passed down the line presenting the medals to each, and a proclamation declaring that they had earned the medal for service above and beyond the call, along with a ribbon or lapel pin that could be worn daily. Once he concluded, he turned and asked the audience, to join him in a round of applause for each.

Kate glanced at Rick, who was making every attempt to look anywhere but at her, it broke her heart, this was the award they were supposed to have received together, that pulled their lives together, but it wasn't to be.

After the group had filed back to their seats, Mayor Weldon took the microphone again,

"Now for the tough part, I owe my friend and brother an apology, and ask that he only blame me, Alexis, Gina, and the remainder were only reacting to a request from me, so if you're angry buddy, this is the butt you want to chew, not theirs."

Rick smiled a weak smile but patted Gina's hand as if to say, he wasn't upset, Alexis leaned in and kissed his cheek, whispering, "I'm sorry Daddy" he mouthed silently, "It's OK Pumpkin" and then turned back to face Bob.

"Rick would you come up here please, and remember I do have security if you want to kick my butt, it'll have to wait for a little while longer." Laughter rang out,

"Once again, although the actual deeds cannot be described, nor can we mention the many hours of suffering Rick and Detective Beckett went through to accomplish the feat that saved thousands of lives, our city truly does owe you a debt of gratitude."

"In recognition for actions, by a private citizen, acting in accord and with the NYPD, I hereby degree the honor of **Medal of Valor**: The Medal of Valor is the highest recognition of achievement presented by the NYPD. The Medal of Valor shall be awarded to department personnel who distinguish themselves with extraordinary individual acts of bravery or heroism above and beyond which is normally expected in the line of duty at extreme, life-threatening, personal risk. Personnel must have displayed extreme courage by placing their own safety in immediate peril in the pursuit of their duties. The actions must clearly be so outstanding that it clearly distinguishes above the call of duty from lesser forms of bravery."

In addition to the luncheon we are serving today, I have issued a proclamation that tomorrow shall be deemed Richard Castle Day, in honor of his selfless acts, along with the NYPD. Now if my friend is still speaking to me, I would ask that he say a few words," as he handed the microphone to Rick.

"Well, I really don't know what to say, well except your ass is grass Bob, the lawnmower will appear when you least expect it, as laughter broke out, Seriously, I was lucky, I did a stupid thing that just happened to be the right stupid thing to do, so as much as you want to think it was bravery, it was really desperation and one last-ditch effort.

"You got the real heroes in the first group of people, the ones that put it all on the line for us day in and day out, Lord knows how many times they have faced death and just quietly done their jobs. They don't do it for fame or glory and looking at some of the wages, they damn sure don't do it to get rich, but they are the ones who deserve this. Thank you all for the award, but more for coming out when I'm sure you all had much better things to do. So, with that said, everyone please follow the young ladies to get something to eat, and mingle for a few hours."

A huge round of applause was heard, and members of the mayor's staff helped direct the lines toward the food.

"So how long did you know Genes?" Rick asked,

"Well, eh"

"Daddy, don't blame Mom, Uncle Bob called me, and it was I who called her and Paula, last week,"

"Thanks, pumpkin I'm not blaming anyone, I just wanted to know how long a secret could stay a secret between Paula and Gina, it looks like forever" he laughed.

Gina and Rick found themselves alone, well mostly Beth was only a few rows behind them, but out of direct earshot,

"Rick, you know you owe her a face to face, this is a safe environment, so please, don't put yourself into that standard, go talk to her Love, she deserves at least that, do it for me, please?"

Rick knew he was defeated, and when he turned around to walk, there she was, less than a foot away,

"Hello Rick, can we talk?"

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted.**

**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**

**Previously **

"_**Good Afternoon All, At the risk of bodily harm, or at least a few poison pen letters I am braving this to do something my dear and best friend absolutely detests, pulling a surprise on him. Rick, I'm sorry but it's the only way we could get you here to present to you something that has been sitting in my desk for a few months now.**_

"_**If you could look around you would see your friends from the 12**__**th**__** precinct who have made their presence here today to congratulate you, and to share your moment of fame. To all those who don't know, a few months back our city and its citizens were in danger, grave danger. Details can't be disclosed but we saw heroic actions from several people that day, today is the day we recognize those actions. Captain Roy Montgomery, Lead Detective Katherine Beckett, and Detectives Kevin Ryan and Javier Esposito, can you come forward please."**_

_**As they were filing into the front of the room, Rick's pulse shot up, and Gina's reassuring grip on his hand was supplemented by her other hand gently rubbing circles behind his thumb, she could feel the pulse start to return to normal, and Rick was doing a great job of not letting on anything was bothering him.**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 17**

**Mayor Weldon's Office**

**Large Conference Room**

**Thursday, 12:50 PM**

_Gina and Rick found themselves alone, well mostly Beth was only a few rows behind them, but out of direct earshot,_

"_Rick, you know you owe her a face to face, this is a safe environment, so please, don't put yourself into that standard, go talk to her Love, she deserves at least that, do it for me, please?"_

_Rick knew he was defeated, and when he turned around to walk, there she was, less than a foot away,_

"_Hello Rick, can we talk?"_

"Hello Kate, how have you been?" he began, struggling to regain his normal voice.

"I've been better, but I guess a whole lot worse as well. I wanted to thank you for intervening with Mr. Mayor to have the letter removed from Roy's and my files, it meant a great deal to us both." She was having the same problem Rick was, finding and keeping her speaking voice

"You're welcome, I don't know why Bob came so apart at the seams you were only doing what you thought was best like I always said the heart wants what the heart wants and you wanted Josh to be close at hand, I understand" He got out,

"No Rick you don't understand, and look I know you weren't expecting to see me today, it's got to be a shock, I'm sorry but the whole awards ceremony was a secret to Roy and us all at the 12th. I screwed up, big time, I wrote you pages and pages in a journal that so far I've only talked about with the Police psychologist, but I would like to tell you about them, in a bit more private setting, if you can spare me, at least time for a coffee. I understand you have someone now, and I promise I won't embarrass you or her, by doing what I wanted to do for years now."

"Wait, what, who do I have? You know Gina and I are not back together, right? Yes, we love each other very much and we were able to mend some fences caused by the divorce, BUT we both know that neither of us will ever be happy in a marriage, we tried it once, and it almost killed us. So, who do I have?"

"Well, I think her name is Beth, she's lovely Rick, and you don't have to be polite, I know I really rubbed Josh into you, I tried to apologize, in the voice mails, I guess you haven't had time to listen to, or you deleted them, I understand."

"Excuse me one moment, I'll be right back," he left walked about 12 steps and whispered something into Beth's ear, and then took her by the hand and walked back to Beckett.

"Good Afternoon Detective, I'm Rick's Administrative Assistant, my name is Elizbeth Smithers, but I prefer Beth, I've heard a great deal about the muse for Nikki Heat, it's good to finally meet you" as she extended her hand.

"Hi Beth, you seem to know me, but did you say you were Rick's Administrative Assistant? In the UK?"

"Yes, yes, I am, I also help Gina out from time to time if our Schedules, (pronounced SHELL ULES) permit. Congratulations on your award, I know this was a complete surprise to Rick. Well if you will excuse me, I must get back to Alexis and Gina, it was great to meet you" as she half curtsied and turned and walked away.

"Is that the one you have me with Detective?" Rick had grown a little bolder in his tone,

"Look, I'm sorry Rick, I mean I just saw her with you, how she looks at you and well, I just thought*"

"Thought what, Kate, that I would rebound and grab onto the first relationship available, you would have been right 15 years ago, but I learned with Meredith, sometimes it's better to have no relationship than one as toxic as that one."

"Rick, I really would love a chance to talk to you, I promise no funny business, but if you could give me just a little time, there are things I need to say to you and well, as she turned her head to see Espo leaning in to hear, as you can see these aren't the most private conditions"

"Excuse me one moment, I need to say something to Bob, I'll be right back,"

He walked over to the mayor, shook his hand then pulled him into a Bro Hug, then turned and walked over to Gina and Alexis, from the look on the younger Castle's face she wasn't happy, but Gina said something and she seemed to relax, Rick kissed them all, Gina, Alexis and Beth on the cheek and walked back to her.

"OK, let's get out of here, anyplace you have in mind, the loft is out, not sure where you want to go?"

"Can we go to Remy's, I saw you didn't eat much, and to be honest neither did I, we could get our booth, that's about as private as it gets, plus if Javi walks in there, he knows I will shoot him."

"Well, one thing Kate, just some ground rules, I don't want to go over the last three years, all the lies and the hurt, so the first lie you tell me, will be the last, plus I need to thank you for the book for my birthday so I'm buying, those are the rules, are you good with them?"

"Let's get out of here then, I agree to the rules." As she turned and gathered her purse,

As they left City Hall, "Rick asked, you want a cab or would you prefer to walk?"

"Do you mind walking? I mean we could get a cab if you want Rick"

"Walking is fine Kate, we can talk in private, well mostly" as he noticed a few paparazzi following them.

"I got this," she walked over to a uniformed cop, showed her badge said something then waited, as the cop, and two more back-ups circled the paparazzi who took off running"

"Well played Detective, well played. Speaking of how the hell did you get Abe to sell you that Casino Royale, Kate, I offered him over $50,000 for it less than a week before, and I know that kind of money is not what you have for discretionary spending, not to be offensive."

"No offense taken Rick, when you asked me what I paid for it, then offered to pay half, at first I got upset, then I remembered that you only wanted me to have money to retire on, not blow it all on a shot at getting you to talk to me.

"I'm so sorry Rick, I really am. I don't know why I couldn't see him for the slimeball he was, but worse, I'm sorry I ever compared him to you. There is no comparison, I've spoken to my therapist and do you realize you have saved my life 8 times during the time we worked together, how could I have been so stupid."

"You weren't stupid Kate, you just wanted a relationship that would fit into your top priority so badly, you looked past a lot of things, we all do from time to time. "

"Do you remember the phone call to thank me, I know I'll never forget it. You were so kind when I told you about being cheated on, and then you said something that I haven't gotten over, WHY? Why should you rub it in, I think you said I'd learn sometime, but you were betting I would fall into the same trap with the next pretty face I dated.

"I asked you then what if I had already found what I wanted; do you remember what you said? I mean we talked about a lot of things that day, I don't expect you to remember the details as I do, I mean I clung to every word, for the lo*"

"I told you 'I would say you are on the rebound and need at least six months of a clear head, but of course it's your life,' perhaps that wasn't the kindest thing to say, but you had made it clear to me on several occasions that you didn't need or want a babysitter, as I think you put it." Kate turns red and lowers her head, once again, her words coming back to bite her in the ass.

"I'm sorry to jump to conclusions about you and Gina, and for all the times I said it was my life, that was perhaps the cruelest thing I could have said to the one man who was always there for me, no matter how shitty I treated you, Rick, words can't express how sorry I am, and how much your forgiveness means to me.

"Please, believe me, I told him not to come, and when I felt his arms slip around me, and I saw the look on your face, I knew that I had hurt you worse than any other time since we met. I texted you, trying to get you to call me, to talk about it, but you just clammed up and said enjoy my time off, knowing Rick you were leaving the next day.

"I'm sorry but I'm well I was your partner, and that hurt, really hurt Rick, you were gone and I had no way of reaching you or talking to you. I wanted to tell you so badly that I loved you for so long but as usual, I took the cowards way out. When I did finally tell you, well you reacted far differently than I expected. I've discussed this with Doctor Burke and he's made me understand that I was sending all kinds of mixed signals, how were you to know which were true and which were fake"

"It sounds like the Doctor is good for you Kate, therapy isn't a cure-all, but if you put the work in, put one foot in front of the other, and know that no matter how bad the day is, tomorrow will be better you'll get through it," Rick said with a faraway look in his face.

"You've been in therapy, haven't you? Who caused it Rick, oh God not me, please don't tell me I put you there?"

"Relax Kate, it happened before I knew you, I hadn't gotten over Kyra, then Meredith, then well it's not important but another bad breakup long before Gina and I got together, had me on the ropes. I think somedays if it hadn't been for Alexis, well, eh, I just don't know so yes, I understand depression, sadness and hurt, far more than the class clown is given credit for"

Her face turns a crimson recalling her words, and telling him that was what she considered him to be,

"I used humor often to deflect hurt, not being good enough, Hell three relationships, three in the dumper, so what's the common denominator, me. That's why no matter how many bestsellers, how much money, how many people want to be around me, is if for me, or for what I can give them. Esposito and Ryan were never my friends, they were yours, they tolerated me because of Knicks tickets, weekends with the Ferrari, and free booze at the Haunt, to say they are my friends, No I really can't.

"Do you remember what else I said Rick, I mean, I don't want to put you on trial, but that conversation has stayed with me, it's been 5 months 2 weeks, and 4 days, so, I'm near your 6-month threshold to have a clear mind, and yes I still Love You, I always will. I said something else, and your reply is perhaps the one thing I regret most. I said you had to know how I felt,

"You replied, 'stay in the car Castle, he saved a life this morning Castle, what did you do make waffles, can I shoot him now or do I have to wait, if this was telling me how you felt, then I got the right message, I never felt loved by you', I almost died hearing those words, knowing how deeply they hurt you.

"Kate, you said a lot of things, many I knew you didn't mean, but after a while, they wear on your confidence, you always said, what would a world-famous author see in a cop, yet I felt inferior, and those words just made me feel even less of a man. Finally, when I got hurt, and yes Josh was the turning point I stood up, knowing then I was killing any hope of every keeping you as a friend, much less anything more. It didn't matter then, and frankly, it hasn't changed today.

"You say you love me, yet not much has changed, you're still chasing the man who hired your Mom's killer, and that's fine, I knew that when I met you. I thought somehow, someway I could work over, under or around those walls to reach your heart, and when I failed the last time, you chose Josh over me, knowing that you loved me, but you were afraid of not having your Mom's case as your number one priority.

"It was time to regroup and take control of my life If I stayed, you would pull us both under, I think you said you had gone down the rabbit hole earlier, well, I couldn't allow that, not with a family. I had to walk away."

Tears had formed in her eyes, yet she walked on matching him step for step, she paused a few minutes to regain her composure, and then asked, "Rick, I asked if you hated me during that call, and could you ever forgive me. You told me you didn't hate me, but you weren't ready to forgive me, I hope you are now.

You also told me the line I have gone over and over in my head, even asked Doctor Burke for help, when you said,

'I've had my heart broken before, I've been cheated on, lied to, but I never have been made to feel less than what I know I am, a man with my own unique qualities. I don't need a badge, a gun, a scalpel, I make a difference in my own way. You not only stabbed me, but you also twisted it so I could feel the full effect every chance you or your boys got.'

I want you to know that I listened to those words, Javi has even written you a letter of apology, I know it's far too little too late, but I wanted you to know that I am trying Rick, as you said, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time, I am trying. I need to know; can you forgive me now?"

"I lied Kate, I had already forgiven you, but I guess I wanted you to feel some of the pain I had felt, and for that I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

"I don't expect you to believe me, but I do Love You with all of my heart Rick, I hope I can prove it to you before it's too late, but I understand. I waited long enough to tell you, so I can only hope I'm not too late"

"Hey, it's time to eat, we're here," Rick said, as they saw the big familiar sign that so many good and tough times had meals served to them together, it seemed fitting to end the conversation where so many others had been started, or completely ignored. Rick was glad they talked, but no way ready for a relationship with Kate, or with anyone yet, his heart was still healing.

As they were having their walk and talk, Beth, Alexis, and Gina were having one of their own. Alexis was totally against her father even talking to the Detective, and she made it no secret.

Beth was quiet, but very sincere when Alexis asked her, "Beth, after working with my Dad this long what are your thoughts,"

"Honestly Alexis? I love him, in fact, I think I am falling in love with him, but I won't step in between anyone he already loves."

Alexis smiled, "Don't worry, just give him some time, she hasn't changed and will only hurt him again, if he goes down that same path, just be patient please"

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted.**

**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**

**Previously **

"_**Rick, I really would love a chance to talk to you, I promise no funny business, but if you could give me just a little time, there are things I need to say to you and well, as she turned her head to see Espo leaning in to hear, as you can see these aren't the most private conditions"**_

"_**Excuse me one moment, I need to say something to Bob, I'll be right back," **_

_**He walked over to the mayor, shook his hand then pulled him into a Bro Hug, then turned and walked over to Gina and Alexis, from the look on the younger Castle's face she wasn't happy, but Gina said something and she seemed to relax, Rick kissed them all, Gina, Alexis and Beth on the cheek and walked back to her.**_

"_**OK, let's get out of here, anyplace you have in mind, the loft is out, not sure where you want to go?"**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 18**

**Castle's Loft**

**10 Days Later**

Rick was happy that he finally had the face to face with Kate, they had a great lunch, she even accepted and thanked him for setting up the scholarship in her Mom's name. She asked him to thank Alexis as well, knowing she wasn't the most popular with the young lady now. Rick made it crystal clear, although he had forgiven her, it didn't mean he trusted her not to fall back into the same old person. He was protecting his heart, from her, from everyone for a while.

**FLASHBACK TO REMY'S**

When she inquired about the status of Nikki Heat, he answered her truthfully, and as gently as he could, without giving plots away.

"Nikki is over Kate, I have three books that are in the final stages, and the finale will end the partnership of Rook and Nikki for good. Don't worry I didn't make you out to be the Goddess of Evil, but I thought it best if I ended that chapter of my life, hard to move on when you're writing about it day in and day out. Gina's handling when to release them between my current project, and you'll receive your pre-production copy as always."

"Are you back to stay now Rick?"

"Not hardly, Beth and I have to be back in the UK in about 3 weeks."

"Oh yeah, I forgot, does Beth go everywhere with you Rick?"

"Why do you ask Kate? She's a very important part of the team, of course, she goes everywhere, what are you trying to ask, just spit it out, and if it's any of your business I'll answer."

"I'm sorry Rick, once again I hear my same smart-ass words come back to bite me in the ass, words I wish I never had said, but I can't take them back now, no matter how much I want to. Look I don't tell every man I date, I love them, I've never told any man other than my Dad those words, so maybe they don't mean anything to you, but they mean everything to me.

"I understand why you doubt me, I really do, and I don't blame you, but please, if you know I love you, you have to know what it's like watching you with another woman."

"Oh Kate, that part, I understand all too well, and I also understand the hurt, but the difference is, I tried to move things to the next level with you, over and over, and I got some smartass remark, then a new man paraded in front of me.

"The new men in your life weren't work associates, they were your flavor of the month. Yes, I understand the hurt, BUT I work with her and I'm not changing anything because you are upset, and if you want to use your words, it really isn't any of your business."

Kate looked down, shocked in some regard at this version of Rick, but he wasn't pulling any punches, it was she that wanted to talk, and he warned her there would be things she didn't want to hear. After a few moments of silence, her playing with a french-fry on her plate, she looked up and said,

"You're right Rick, I deserved that, I'm sorry for asking, it isn't any of my business, but it still hurts like hell regardless. I think I know how you felt, finally and I'm so sorry to have put you through that. I guess I never thought, well believed anyway that you cared for me, at least like that."

Rick looked at her, with a look like WTH, "Really? Do you care to rephrase that because it's a lie, I talked to Lanie to, whose exact words were something like the John Doe on table 2 could have told you how Rick felt, so once again, want to try that again or end this on yet another lie."

Once again, her face turned red, she had been caught in what Rick hated more than anything, a lie.

"You're right Rick, I knew, I just couldn't believe it,"

"There's a big difference in those two statements Kate, but back to your original question, there's nothing going on with Beth and me, or anyone else for that matter. I know I'm in no position to start something, so that won't happen till I have healed completely."

"Rick, does that mean*"

"Stop Kate, let's leave it there, we both are going through some changes, both need time, just leave it there, for now, no promises, no innuendo, I'm so fucking tired of trying to figure out what you really said, no more."

When they finally left Remy's, Kate was hoping Rick would do as he had in the past, walk her home, or share a cab, he didn't he hailed a cab, assisted her into it, paid the driver and gave him her address,

"We'll talk later Kate, this has been a lot for us both, Goodbye" and tapped the top of the cab to signal the driver and they pulled away leaving him on the curb.

**Present Day**

**6:30 PM**

Rick was busy working in his office when his cell phone rang, it was Roy Montgomery. He had talked to him briefly but hadn't had time to thoroughly catch up with him. It was strange, Roy seldom called this late, he was usually out the door at 5:45 PM Sharp, so it was unusual he was calling this late.

"Hey Roy, what's up, sorry we didn't get a chance to talk much, Beckett wanted to get some things off her chest, how are things"

"Well, it's good to hear your voice, things could be better, but I was wondering if you had about an hour you can spare, Evelyn and the girls are out of town for the week, so my place is quiet. I would really appreciate it, Rick, there's some things going down you don't know about but should, so please?"

"You want to meet at your house, Roy? You sound desperate, are you OK?" Rick asked,

"Well, I will be if I get to talk to you soon, really soon" Roy panicked,

"OK, OK, I'll be right over, you need anything?"

"No Rick, I got everything I need, see you in twenty minutes."

Rick arrived and noticed that the house was dark except for Roy's office in the front left corner of the house, he started to knock but Roy opened the door,

"Come on in Rick, I have some things I have to tell you, and not a lot of time" Roy had a look on his face Rick had never seen,

"What's going on Roy, level with me"

Roy pushed the bottle and glass towards Rick, it was the 100-year-old Scotch they had recovered in a case last year and the mayor had given each a bottle in appreciation.

"Well, you probably heard about how Espo almost got himself and Ryan killed, Beckett pulled a diversion and got their asses out of the jam, arresting three, well two were killed before they even made it to jail. John Doe #1 was the only one sent to Rikers, well he escaped two days ago."

"Yeah I heard the old joke that Royce told about show them your boob has new meaning now, she actually saved their asses with that diversion."

"Beckett and her team have been on him, Beckett was in court when fake guards threw a smoke bomb and made their way to a waiting helicopter, Kate shot and hit the chopper. We located it, but nothing else."

"OK so that sounds like a great case Roy, but what's that got to do with the sense of urgency you mentioned?"

"How much have you spoken to Ryan or Espo? Did they tell you about the three cops, Raglan, McCallister and some mystery third cop yanking crooks off the street and holding them for ransom?"

"Yeah Kevin told me about it, somehow they could never locate the third cop, all the paperwork is gone, and now digital, so probably never will"

"Rick, I'm the third cop, it's not something I'm proud of, I was just a rookie when it all went down. The night that the agent was shot, it wasn't Pulgatti that killed him, it was my gun that one of the perps was struggling with me when it went off. The Assistant DA at the time was William Bracken, the SOB found out, and instead of prosecuting us, he took most of the money to finance his campaign to higher office.

"Kate's Mom was getting close to exposing him so he had her killed, and I had to stay silent or my family would die. Well that all ends now, they're coming for Kate at the hangar, to assassinate her, but I'm not going to let them. I need you to be there to pull her out, she won't leave unless you force her out."

"Roy, you got a lot of nerve, after what Beckett put me through, you want me to throw myself right back into the mix with her, _**go to hell**_, I've already had enough pain in my life from her" he started to walk away when he heard Roy's words that stopped him in his tracks,

"Then we'll both die tonight, the only difference is **her blood will be on your hands**, you can stop her from dying, but if your pride is that hurt, then leave, go on. She probably will hate me more when she finds out I tried to protect her anyway, I can live with what I'm about to do Rick, Can you?"

"You Son of a Bitch, you dump this in my lap after being a fucking coward all those years, you could have done something Roy, you could have, should have went to the Feds, ones you trusted, so don't give me that crap, her blood will be on my hands. I haven't talked to her in months, what about Ryan, or better yet, Special Forces Esposito?"

"You know as well as I do, they can't control her, no one can but you. You still don't see how much she loves you, do you? Yeah, she fucked up, but you've had your share as well, is that worth her dying for Rick, so your conscience is clear, even if you did nothing wrong, she'll still be just as dead.

"You're right, I was a coward, but tonight I make my stand, the only question I have for you is do you still love her enough to save her life, if so meet me here in a half-hour, if not, well, I'm sorry I disappointed you, everyone but I'm trying to make it right.

"There's a package of evidence on Bracken sent to your UK Office disguised as a manuscript, another copy sent to a good friend, and a third copy sent to the FBI, Jordan Shaw. Hopefully, among the three copies, Bracken will get what he deserves, now make up your mind I have things I have to get done."

Rick picked up the address Roy had thrown down on his desk, still not certain what he was going to do as he left the house. God Damn him, why did he put him in this mess, shit, what the hell was he going to do.

Xx

Espo and Ryan were headed to a bar owned by a retired cop, Mike Yanavich, who graduated with Raglan and McCallister, to see if they could get any information that seemed to be hidden in the archives. It didn't take long to see the picture of the three cops, but wait, the third cop, it couldn't be, but there it was, in living color, Roy Montgomery was the third cop. They left the bar angry and upset, and sent a text to Beckett, it read simply, "3rd Cop is Montgomery".

Kate had received a call from the captain earlier telling her they had a lead and for her to meet him at the helicopter hangar. When she was walking in, it appeared deserted, the lights were on, but no one appeared to be present.

"Roy, are you here, Captain?"

Just as he stepped from the shadows, with a gun in his hand her phone pinged the text that he was the third cop,

**From Dust Jackets Dot Com, No Infringement intended **

BECKETT  
Put the gun away, Roy.

MONTGOMERY  
Kate, I'm not going to jail for this. I can't put my family through that.

BECKETT  
Why?

MONTGOMERY  
I was a rookie when it happened, Kate. McCallister and Raglan were heroes to me. I believed in what we were doing. We were just going to snatch Pulgatti that night. Bob Armen wasn't even supposed to be there. Armen reached for my gun. That's when I heard the shot. I didn't even know it was my gun that went off 'til Armen went down.

Then McCallister pulled me into the van. I remember him saying, "It's okay, kid. It's not your fault. Happens in this town every day." McCallister and Raglan tried to drown it, but not me. I put it all into the job, Kate. I became the best cop I could be. And then when you walked into the Twelfth, I felt the hand of God. I knew he was giving me another chance, and I thought I could protect you the way I should have protected her.

BECKETT  
Did you kill my mother?

MONTGOMERY  
No, that was years later. But she died because of what we did that night.

BECKETT  
Then who killed her?

MONTGOMERY  
I don't know how, but somehow, he had figured out what we had done. And he could have turned us all in. Instead, he demanded the ransom money. He took that money to become what he is and God forgive me but that could be my greatest sin.

BECKETT  
Give me a name. You owe me that, Roy.

MONTGOMERY  
No, Kate. I give you a name, I know you. You'll run straight at him. I might as well shoot you where you stand.

BECKETT  
That's why you brought me here, isn't it? To kill me?

MONTGOMERY  
No, I brought you here to lure them.

BECKETT  
You baited them?

_MONTGOMERY hears a noise in the distance._

MONTGOMERY  
And now they're coming. I need you to leave. They're coming to kill you and I'm not going to let them. I'm going to end this.

BECKETT  
I'm not going anywhere, sir.

MONTGOMERY  
_(he's firm)_ Yes, you are. **Castle, get her out of here.**

_CASTLE appears behind BECKETT._

CASTLE  
Captain, I –

MONTGOMERY  
Don't argue. That's why I called you. Get her out of here, now!

_CASTLE reaches for BECKETT but she shrugs him off._

BECKETT  
Captain, please, just listen to me. You don't have to do this.

CASTLE  
Kate.

BECKETT  
_(she shrugs off CASTLE) _No, please! No. _(to MONTGOMERY)_ Sir. I forgive you. I forgive you!

MONTGOMERY  
This is my spot, Kate. This is where I stand.

BECKETT  
_(she's tearful) _No, no!

MONTGOMERY  
Castle.

BECKETT  
No! No, sir, please listen to me! You don't have to do this!

_CASTLE is watching the approaching car, weighing his options._

MONTGOMERY  
**Castle! Get her out of here, now!**

BECKETT  
You don't have to do this, sir–

_She's desperate. CASTLE grabs her from behind and carries her away from MONTGOMERY, towards a back door._

BECKETT  
No! God, Castle! Let me go! No! Let me go! Please!

_She's crying and fighting him the whole way, but he manages to carry her to the door and outside, leaving MONTGOMERY by himself. The car pulls up and he takes his stance._

_Outside, CASTLE puts BECKETT down. She's stopped fighting him, but she's still crying._

_Outside BECKETT and CASTLE hear the shots. She's stopped struggling and she pushes past him, running towards the hangar. He lets her go. He knows it's over._

_She runs into the hangar, straight to MONTGOMERY. She kneels by his body but it's too late. He's gone._

**INT – BECKETT'S APARTMENT**

_RYAN, ESPOSITO, CASTLE, and BECKETT are meeting, presumably talking about what happened and coming up with a story to tell MONTGOMERY'S wife. The tone is bleak, sad. Everyone is affected; Ryan is crying._

BECKETT  
No one. No one outside this immediate family ever needs to know about this. As far as the wold is concerned, Roy Montgomery died a hero. We owe it to him. All of us.

**EXT – CEMETERY**

_They've spared no expense for this funeral. It's a full-on fallen officer. RYAN, ESPOSITO, BECKETT, and CASTLE are among the pallbearers for MONTGOMERY'S casket. They walk slowly past a line of police officers who all salute as they pass. His family is waiting by the grave, trying to hold it together. EVELYN sobs as she's handed the flag that covered the casket._

_Everyone is there – everyone at the Twelfth is joined by LANIE, MARTHA, ALEXIS, and JIM BECKETT._

BECKETT  
Roy Montgomery taught me what it meant to be a cop. He taught me that we are bound by our choices, but we are more than our mistakes. Captain Montgomery once said to me that for us, there is no victory. There are only battles. And in the end, the best you can hope for is to find a place to make your stand. And if you're very lucky, you find someone to stand with you.

_She gives a sidelong glance to CASTLE._

BECKETT  
Our Captain would want us to carry on the fight. And even if there is …

_CASTLE is distracted by something glinting in the distance. He sees it once, twice, and on the third time, he realizes it's the scope of a gun, trained right at BECKETT giving the eulogy. A shot is fired and he's running towards her, but he's not in time. She's hit. She lurches backward as CASTLE takes her down._

CASTLE  
Kate!

_The mourners at the funeral all scream as they realize what's happened. LANIE is horrified for her friend but she's held back by ESPOSITO._

RYAN  
Where'd that come from?

ESPOSITO  
Lanie! Get down!

RYAN  
Beckett's down! Beckett's down!

_CASTLE is with her. He's trying to keep her calm, keep her with him._

CASTLE  
Kate, shh… Kate. Stay with me, Kate. Don't leave me, please. Stay with me, okay?

_She's trying, focusing as hard as she can on him, but it's too much. She's been shot and she's scared and she can't stop the tears from escaping her eyes._

CASTLE  
Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate.

_He's desperately trying to get her to do something, respond, something to let him know that she's going to be okay. The tiniest smile passes over her mouth as she realizes what he's just said, but she's in shock and her body can't handle anymore. Her eyes drift closed. CASTLE still holds her, trying to process how this can end okay and willing her to come back. One lone tear runs down his nose as he tries to grasp what just happened._

TBC

**A/N Sometimes certain scenes or lines can't be done justice by a Fan Fic writer, I choose to use those from Canon but want to give credit where credit is due. Thanks for your understanding of the last paragraphs of this chapter. We revert back to my feeble attempts as we begin the next chapter.**


	19. Chapter 19

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted.**

**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**

**Previously **

_**Our Captain would want us to carry on the fight. And even if there is …**_

_**CASTLE is distracted by something glinting in the distance. He sees it once, twice, and on the third time, he realizes it's the scope of a gun, trained right at BECKETT giving the eulogy. A shot is fired and he's running towards her, but he's not in time. She's hit. She lurches backward as CASTLE takes her down.**_

_**Kate!**_

_**The mourners at the funeral all scream as they realize what's happened. LANIE is horrified for her friend but she's held back by ESPOSITO.**_

_**RYAN  
Where'd that come from?**_

_**ESPOSITO  
Lanie! Get down!**_

_**RYAN  
Beckett's down! Beckett's down!**_

_**CASTLE is with her. He's trying to keep her calm, keep her with him.**_

_**CASTLE  
Kate, shh… Kate. Stay with me, Kate. Don't leave me, please. Stay with me, okay?**_

_**She's trying, focusing as hard as she can on him, but it's too much. She's been shot and she's scared and she can't stop the tears from escaping her eyes.**_

_**CASTLE  
Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate.  
**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 19**

**Mercy Hospital**

**Twenty Minutes Later**

Rick had stayed with Kate, putting direct pressure on the wound with one of his linen handkerchiefs, she was unconscious and Lanie was screaming at the medics to get her into the ambulance. Once the Medics took over, Rick gathered Alexis, Martha who had just made it in the previous evening, Gina and Beth and sped behind the ambulance to Mercy Hospital, not much they could do, but wait for the doctors to take care of her, IF he had only been a moment sooner, he lamented.

Her blood was still on his shirt, his hands, and his suit, so he hurried to the men's room, trying to wash it off. He had spotted Lanie on top of her on a gurney applying CPR, that wasn't a good sign, but he was glad they had at least talked. She at least knew he had forgiven her, so that was some consolation, now they had to wait for the Doctors to come out to tell them how she's doing.

Beth was very sweet, making sure the entire Castle clan was taken care of, with water, juices, coffee, even bringing Martha a gluten-free muffin she had to go to the other side of the hospital to purchase, much to Rick's disgust.

"Mother, she's not a slave, she's doing this for this family, no more special orders or you can march your self out to get them yourself."

"Richard, Darling, she works for you, I don't see the problem with what I did"

"Right mother she works WITH me, not for me, not you, find your own servant" he snapped and Martha knew when to keep her mouth shut.

Several hours later, Rick had Gina on one side holding one hand, Beth on the other side holding the other and Alexis sitting in the V of his legs with her head on his lap, Martha had taken a cab and gone home to lie down, which didn't upset anyone. Jim Beckett, sat close by, holding his head, Rick could only imagine what he was going through as he stole glances at his pumpkin, so happy she was healthy.

Finally, a doctor came out of the doors and asked for the Beckett family, Jim stood, and motioned for Rick to join him, "Son I'm not sure I can take it if it's bad news, I'm sorry to lean on you"

"No, Jim, no problem, I'm right here, Let's go talk to the Doctor but can we bring Lanie, she'll understand the words better than either of us"

"Thanks, Rick, see that's why I need you close by", as Rick reached down and took Lanie's hand and pulled her towards them, "Come on Lanie, we need you to interpret."

They talked to the doctors, and Rick was glad that Lanie was there to question and clarify the message they were conveying.

Kate had suffered a great deal of blood loss, but the direct pressure and CPR had helped keep her going, she had coded in the ambulance but responded to shock therapy and Epinephrine. The bullet had grazed an artery, hitting a rib, puncturing a rib, collapsing a lung, but they were able to repair the damage, now what she needed was rest. The doctors were hopeful for a full recovery, although it would take some time. The doctor did say, a millimeter either direction by the bullet and it would have been a totally different outcome.

"I suggest you all go home and get some rest, there's nothing anyone can do now, but wait", Dr. Alvarez the surgeon said.

"Jim, eh Mr. Beckett sir, is there anything we can do for you before we leave?" Rick asked Jim,

"No Son, Thanks, and thanks for trying to knock her out of the way. You diving for her, well you heard the doctor, you saved her life, Rick"

"I don't know about that, but call me day or night, I'll let you rest, call if you need anything," Rick said sincerely, then turned and walked towards his family to go home, as the doctor said she needed her rest, and so did the family. It had been a hell of a week, and he had to leave in 5 days to return to the UK.

He caught Lanie's attention, and mouthed, "Call me if you need anything", and Lanie gave a tearful acknowledgment.

Xx

**Three Days Later**

**Mercy Hospital**

Beth had been a lifesaver for Rick, she seemed to sense what he needed before he needed, and had kept in contact with the hospital, she had convinced a nurse to provide her updates, by text if anything was changing. Kate's signs were improving daily, but they still didn't know when she would come around completely, she was half in, half out until the third day, then she woke and fought to get the breathing tube out of her throat. She had made it through the tough period, now came the time for her to rebuild herself.

The first name she called out was "Rick" her Dad and Lanie were there, and it wasn't a surprise to them about who she wanted to see, Lanie made the call and Rick was there in less than two hours. He walked in with a small bouquet of her favorite flowers and smiled as he walked in.

"Castle, thanks for coming, I guess I was calling for you so Dad and Lanie called you. I told them you had things to do, that you were probably too busy, but you came, you really came."

"Of course, I came Kate, what would any partner do, well any good partner?"

"You're staring, God I must look awful, I'm sorry"

"No, no, you don't, I just thought I might never see you again, it scared the hell out of me. Then I heard you were opening a floral shop so I thought I would chip in"

"Most of them were here when I woke up, mostly from the precinct, not that I'd expect someone I sent up to send me flowers, she tried to laugh, but pain wracked her face,

"You know they will never let you live this down don't you, hate to say it but Cops can be real assholes when it comes to holding things over your head. Looks like it's your turn in that barrel" he smiles

"You trying to get me to admit something in a weak moment Castle?" she smiled back,

"Not at all Detective, just saying"

"Dad and Lanie told me how you tried to save me, and what the doctor said about how close I came to buying the farm, thank you, Rick, I'm sure that freaked your family out."

**_He realized what she's said and he stopped for a moment._**

"I wasn't trying to take the bullet, Kate, just push you out of the way. You don't remember me tackling you?

"No, I don't remember much of anything, I don't even remember waking up, they told me I was yelling for or at you for a good ten minutes before I opened my eyes. I, um, I remember that I was on the podium and I remember everything just going black."

"Well at least you don't remember the gunshot, I know I was scared as hell," he quickly recovers from his initial thoughts, she hadn't heard or wasn't ready to admit she heard, he was betting on the latter.

"I guess it's true when they say that there are some things that are better not being remembered." She realized how he took her words the moment they were out, a look of disappointment and resignation, similar to that day in the elevator was on his once smiling face.

"I guess that's true, one less thing to cause nightmares, you look tired, I'll get going, let you rest" He tried to exit quietly,

"Castle, Rick, do you have to go so soon, I mean, I'm fine. When do you return to the UK?

"Day after tomorrow, Beth and I have a 6:00 AM flight, so I guess it's down to today and tomorrow, well at least till the next trip."

"Oh, so soon, I guess I did lose a few days here, just today and tomorrow and then when are you coming back?" She looked at him hopefully, thinking he would be back in weeks,

"I really don't know Kate; it depends on a lot of things out of my control. I know I have a book tour, there and here, when I don't know, but I'm sure Beth has been working with Paula and Gina to work out the details. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know about you, but I enjoyed our talk, I was hoping to have another one, but I went and got shot, kind of blew that idea all to hell, but do you really have to go, so soon Rick?" She had tears in her voice, and eyes, but refused to let them fall,

"Well, I guess that depends," his tone wasn't the same as it was just a few moments ago, this tone was commanding, sterner,

"Depends? Depends on what Rick?" she tried to use her innocent voice

"If you're ready to tell me the truth or you're going to stick with your story, which by the way has more holes in it than a piece of swiss cheese, so the depends is up to you Kate, what's it going to be?

She paused for a long moment, reaching for his hand that had been beside her on the bed until a few moments ago, but came up empty. She knew it was time to confess or Rick was sincere, he was leaving and probably not coming back, ever.

"OK, I remember everything, I'm sorry, but I didn't know if you meant it or not Rick, I was trying to give you an out if you wanted it." Tears fill her eyes, knowing she had been caught in yet another lie

"Kate, I told you I loved you, that by the way is nothing new to the entire 12th precinct and half of New York, I finally told you to your face what I hoped I had shown you throughout the years. Apparently, I hadn't since you treat this as new information." His voice softened, it wasn't the stern bravado, but she could hear the hurt poured out in his words,

"No, no Rick, I was hoping, I just, well I know things have been tough between us, and I didn't want to get my hopes up, I mean I told you I loved you, I thought you would give a different response, but I understand the one you did now." Kate lowered her head, almost admitting that she deserved whatever treatment she received.

"Kate, remember when I told you I loved Gina, but we weren't in a position to move forward, well think about that and then compare us. Yes, I love you, but if Gina and I aren't ready, there's no way in God's green earth would you and I ever be ready, we haven't even gone on a date, hell up till a few days ago, even our friendship was in question.

"I'm sorry, this is tough timing, but I heard yet another lie after you promised you would always be truthful to me. Well, I want you to get well, then we'll see how you feel emotionally, right now, I think you're looking for another long-distance, I don't have to invest much in a relationship, and Kate, that's not with me. With me in London, you would be sure I wouldn't crowd you, or ask you to stop doing the thing that put you in that hospital bed, almost a grave beside your Mom."

"Rick, please, I do love you, you have to believe me."

"Kate, I DO believe _**YOU believe that**_ work on it with your therapist and see if he agrees. I'm sorry if you need something you know how to reach me, and yes, it's through Beth. I know she has feelings, deep feelings for me, but you see, she would do anything to make me happy, anything.

"I'm not there, not ready for any relationship, at least not yet, but Kate, take a look at your life, what chasing this man had done, to you, your Dad, how much more will it take for you to see, it's not worth it. I'm sorry, I really don't think your Mom would want you to live like this. Once again, I have stuck my nose in your business, so I'm going before I say more to piss you off, get well soon, Kate, I do love you, but not enough to be **second** in your life. Goodbye"

Xx

Rick was torn with emotions on his way home, he had told her things he had waited years to say, but he also had rejected her offer of getting together. That had been his dream, God, how he dreamed that someway he would be able to fix all her problems and together they would solve her Mom's case, and what then he asked himself, live happily ever after Rick? Get Real, for God's Sake, you write fiction, not fairy tales.

He decided to say a proper Goodbye to Roy, with all of the activity and then crime scene quarantine focused around the shooting of Beckett, it seemed like an incomplete way to end a funeral. He needed to say goodbye, in his own way. He parked the car a few hundred yards from the freshly covered grave, the earth had been piled on top of, and the slew of flowers that had been in the funeral home now lay on top of the mound of dirt left to die like the Captain had himself.

He walked slowly to the gravesite, not knowing what to expect, but as he got closer, a sense of comfort surrounded him, almost as if his friend was telling him he understood, and not to be sad. He arrived and looked at forlorn sight, remembering the vibrant and commanding man from only a few days previously that now lay six feet under the earth, a sense reminding him that no one lives forever, and to make each day count. He had never been much of a praying man, perhaps his prayers for Beckett to keep her alive were the first since he thought he was about to lose Alexis as a child.

He kneeled down, not knowing what to say, he paused, then just talked to him the way he would have had Roy been at his poker games or in the precinct.

"Roy, I want you to know I'm sorry for some of the things I said, you were never a coward, you gave your life trying to correct a wrong. I don't know of any man that brave, living or dead, but well you know me, I get a little hot-headed when things go south on me.

"Anyway, I'm sorry your service got interrupted, Kate always has a way to upstage us both, but this was a doozy. She's going to be just fine; you know that already, but just in case you've been busy transitioning to your new position I wanted to let you know.

"Roy, we never talked about finances, but I know you hadn't retired because the cost of college for your girls, well, I haven't told Evelyn yet, but I took care of that for you, hell it was your money you lost in poker to me anyway. I also set up a scholarship in your name, Evelyn will be involved in picking the recipient, a full ride, books, tuition, housing and a small stipend, for anyone who chooses Law Enforcement, or Criminology.

"God knows those who do are getting fewer and fewer and well, I know it's what would please you. I don't think I could have your boat with twin outboards delivered to where you're at now, but well, maybe this will do. Oh, and don't worry about Evelyn or the girls, my lawyers are taking care of everything, like you would have done for me, so Rest in Peace dear friend, and Thank You for teaching me how a real cop works, I'll talk to you later, so Till Then"

He felt an arm slip around his waist just as he finished speaking, and when he looked it was Evelyn Montgomery, tears in her eyes, and a single tear dripping from her left eye.

"How much did you hear Evelyn, I mean, I'm sorry I should have checked with you, but things have been moving so fast, and I have to leave early day after tomorrow."

"Rick, your attorney Howard contacted me, told me not to worry that per your instructions he was handling the estate and he also told me the girl's college was completely paid. Thank You, Rick, Roy loved you, just as much as he did the cops who worked for him, and you'll never know what a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. You're right, he was still working to pay for the girl's education, something he worked himself through school and paid student loans for twenty years.

"I wasn't clear on the scholarship Howard told me about, things aren't registering, I guess I still can't believe he's really gone. I agree with you, outside of his fishing boat, he would have opted for the scholarship, so once again Rick, thank you, this will keep his name alive far longer than our lives. He was my hero, I know he screwed up, and I know he died trying to make it right, he never knew I knew so it didn't surprise me that he chose this way to go out, he was always a bit of a rebel" She smiled through her tears,

"Thanks, Evelyn, look I don't know when I'll be back, but you have Howard's number, here are Gina's and Paula's if you or the girls need anything, please just call, promise me you will." As he handed her a business card.

"I will Rick, and thank you, safe travels, I know the next James Bond book will be a best seller, I already reserved my copy. Please come visit when you can, I don't play poker, but I do love you and your family as Roy did."

"I promise Evelyn, I have to run now, I'll leave you in peace, but please just call if anything comes up. See you next time" and then he turned and slowly walked away. Evelyn remembered Roy saying as long as Rick doesn't say Goodbye, you'll see him again, she hoped he was right,

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted.**

**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**

**Previously **

"_**I'm sorry, this is tough timing, but I heard another lie after you promised you would always be truthful to me. Well, I want you to get well, then we'll see how you feel emotionally, right now, I think you're looking for another long-distance, I don't have to invest much in a relationship, and Kate, that's not with me. With me in London, you would be sure I wouldn't crowd you, or ask you to stop doing the thing that put you in that hospital bed, almost a grave beside your Mom."**_

"_**Rick, please, I do love you, you have to believe me."**_

"_**Kate, I DO believe YOU believe that work on it with your therapist and see if he agrees. I'm sorry if you need something you know how to reach me, and yes, it's through Beth. I know she has feelings, deep feelings for me, but you see, she would do anything to make me happy, anything. **_

"_**I'm not there, not yet, but Kate, take a look at your life, what chasing this man has done, to you, your Dad, how much more will it take for you to see, it's not worth it, and I'm sorry, I really don't think your Mom would want you to live like this. Once again, I stuck my nose in your business, so before I say more to piss you off, get well soon, Kate, I do love you, but not enough to be second in your life. Goodbye"**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 20**

**Thursday, Day after Visit to Kate Beckett**

**8:30 AM Castle's Loft**

Rick had stuck to his guns when he had seen Kate face to face, one on one, God how he wanted to cave in, just to be with her but he knew it would be like making a deal with the devil, sooner or later the payment comes due. He did love her, seeing her almost die in front of or in his arms had truly shaken him. He had to stand firm or he would always be what she got around to, not her equal in a relationship, and he knew, it would never work.

Gina was at the Loft when he returned, took one look at him, kissed him softly, and said, quietly, "you did the right thing Love, you can't stop just because this happened. She has to realize someday she or someone she loves will be killed for her fucking quest. I can't tell you how much Alexis and I both worried every night you were out there, it scared me to death." She pulled him into a hug and just held him,

"I know Gina, I know but it didn't make it any easier, it would be like me hurting you or Beth, I mean, I never would if I could help it, yet I know I have. I'm a guy, I don't see the small things that hurt your feelings, and for that I'm sorry, I mean between you two I don't know how I have survived this past year or so."

"Hey, it's OK, we understand, you've been through a lot, and believe me, I know when I'm not there, Beth loves you just as much, maybe more, than I do, so Rick, when the time is right, go for it, Love. I mean, she's waiting patiently, she turned down a multitude of dates from guys here, just to be close to you. Don't make her your Castle and you act like Beckett, what I'm saying is don't string her along, you know how that hurts." His face shows shock, then embarrassment, as he realizes that's what he has done

"Where is she Gina, I mean I would like to take you all out at least once before we have to head back"

"She's upstairs, but Rick, why don't just the two of you go, she deserves some alone time just to talk to you if nothing else, Alexis and I have plans anyway." Gina looked down meaning she and Alexis were clearing any roadblocks, a sign of both of their blessings if he wanted to pursue something with Beth.

He went upstairs and knocked on the door gently, a moment later Beth opened the door, obvious signs that she had been crying,

"Beth, is everything OK? You've been crying, what's the matter?"

"It's nothing Rick, just got a twinge of homesickness", she lied

"Oh, homesick eh, well you know I know when you aren't telling me the truth, don't you? You always tell the truth, but when you try to sneak a fib into the conversation, I can tell, I won't tell you how, but do you want to try that again, please?" He smiled, not angry, more amused at how her nose crinkled just like Alexis did when they tried to fib.

"OK, I was worried about how your visit with the Detective would go, it always seems to upset you or bring back bad memories when you see her, and, well I didn't want that for you" she blushed,

"Well, I wanted to take you out to dinner tonight, just you and I, look I know it's been a crummy vacation over here, you worked over half of it, and I was always somewhere else so if you aren't busy, would you have dinner with me this evening?"

Now her face had gone from a slight blush to full-blown pink, "Rick, that would be lovely, but what about Gina and Alexis, I mean it wouldn't be polite to just leave them, our second last night off before we fly back would it?" She asked sincerely

"You're right it would be rude, but you see they have plans, I think it's their idea for us to spend some time alone to talk, just the two of us, so I thought dinner at a nice restaurant and perhaps some dancing, that is if you would like that or we could grab a pizza whatever you want to do." It was Rick's turn to stammer like a schoolboy,

"Rick, dinner, and dancing, well it sounds lovely, can I have a few hours to prepare, say 7:00 PM would that be OK?"

"Fantastic Beth, our reservations are for 8:00 PM so that would give us time to arrive, relax and have a drink before dinner, well I'll let you get ready, pick you up at 7:00 PM, and Thank You, Beth, I really appreciate every extra thing you have done for us all, I have noticed, even if I haven't thanked you before," He said quietly, looking deep into her eyes for perhaps the first time, God those eyes he could get lost in them, no wonder he stayed clear,

"Now get off with you, shoos," she laughed, "I'll see you soon, and Thanks Rick, I'm looking forward to this evening."

He came back down the stairs to see a smiling Gina, with her arm around Alexis, a look of approval on her face as well.

"She's nice Dad, she's not like anyone else besides Mom, she really cares about you, about all of us." She had a look on her face,

"Oh Rick, since Martha left this morning, AND we know she's definitely not in New York, Alexis and I are going out for a girl's night, then she's going to crash at my house, that is if that's OK with you" she had that look on her face,

"OK but don't think this will change anything, I mean, I like her, I like her a lot, but well, I'm not ready for anything yet"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, and please don't tell me when or if you do, I don't want to know the details, just spend some time with a lovely, unattached lady who loves you, and has stood in the shadows, waiting for you to be ready, Alexis is right, she cares so go and have a good time, OK?"

She leaned in and kissed his cheek, "we'll be back for brunch tomorrow, say around 1:00 so we can spend the last day with you, OK?" an evil wink followed, and they were out the door.

Alexis came rushing back in, "Bye Dad, be happy, whatever that is, OK? We love you and Beth is so sweet, Good Night" then out the door she went.

Xx

**7:00 PM Sharp**

**Outside the Guest Room,**

Rick found himself shyly knocking on the guest room door, feeling more like a schoolboy than he had felt in a very long time, especially in his own home. When the door opened, he almost lost his breath, Beth was more than beautiful, she was a living doll.

"You're beautiful Beth, I'm speechless" as he placed a small corsage on her wrist,

"Thank You, Rick, are you sure, I mean, I only had a few hours, I hope I look OK for you,"

"Beth, you look more than OK, you took my breath away, shall we? He asked as he extended

his arm which she took, and he guided her down the stairs,

"You look great as well Rick, and your cologne, I could smell that all night long, it smells heavenly. I just want to snuggle into your neck and breath you in," realizing what she had just said, "oh my God, I'm so sorry"

Rick smiled as he kissed her gently on the lips for the first time, "Its OK, I know what you mean, you look like an Angel, I could just stare at you all night, as well," she giggled, and then they started out the door.

"I hope Gina doesn't get upset with it being just us Rick, I mean, given than, well, eh"

"You mean given that she's my ex-wife and we still love each other in a special way, that way is not for lovers or marriage Beth, we both know it. It was her idea to take Alexis out for the entire evening, they won't be back till brunch tomorrow at 1:00, she made it a point to tell me three times."

Beth laughed, "well being honest Rick, I got the talk earlier in the day, when you saw the tears, that was before Gina and I talked. She told me that no matter how you felt about the Detective, there was nothing to worry about, not now, not until she proved herself to be truthful and not setting you up for just another hurt.

"I was upset, maybe because I care about you all, but the last four months we have worked together has been almost like going to a party every day, it never feels like work. Gina couldn't have been nicer, explaining everything, I just was afraid you were going to come home, and end the deal, and our working together"

"Well Beth, first of all, we have four more books to pump out, and what would it say if I was to quit at this point, I know we have grown close, closer than I've been to anyone but Alexis and Gina in a very long time. I would never hurt you like that; I promise you I'll always tell you what's happening, that's what I ask from you, OK?"

"Of course, Rick, I know the history of the lies, how much they hurt. I had my own experience as well, so as you do, I insist on just one thing, honesty." Rick smiled, Beth leaned into him and returned his kiss, and damn it felt good, her lips were so soft, he wanted more. Easy Rick, the evening is young he thought. He opened his eyes to see those killer eyes locked on him,

"I've wanted to do that since the first time I saw you, I hope you don't mind," her answer came with a return kiss, then he heard Eduardo clear his throat as he escorted them to their waiting limo.

The remainder of the evening was beautiful, both laughing over little things they had in common but had not known. They had worked together this close for months and didn't know, like for instance when he asked her favorite color, they both answered at the same time,

"Mine is blue" then laughed more, as they discovered the intimate details of each other's lives.

She went into great detail how she really screwed up as a teen, she owned it totally, and her life with the older abusive boyfriend, then husband, their meager attempts at grating out a life here in the states, how they have moved from pillar to post finally winding up in Philadelphia, where she lost the baby, then suffered the beatings until she fled.

She spared no details even her life in a woman's shelter till she could get back to her home in the UK, then rebuilding her life, finally graduating, and receiving a grant for college where she waited tables to pay for her portion of rent. She expressed how grateful she was to her parents for forgiving her, and for offering her a second, well 15th-second chance.

She spoke of her love for her Dad, and Rick could tell from her words she had been a Daddy's girl, much like his pumpkin was to him. Then how he was diagnosed and died within two years of her graduating, a proud Dad. She had tears in her eyes when she spoke of him, and a faraway look, almost as if she were remembering him even as she spoke. Rick reached out, took her hand and gently wiped a tear from one of her eyes,

"I only hope Alexis feels that way someday about me when I'm only a memory, I hope it's a good one for her," he said quietly,

"You have to be kidding right? That girl lives and breathes for her Dad, next to her Mom. I know Gina isn't her birth Mom but you would never know it, by the way, those two interacts. Really, I would hate to be the man she's judging against you, they have an awfully high bar to pass. She's not the spoiled Rich Kid, she's very grounded, loves to a fault, and was taught well by her dad to always consider others before doing something, a heck of a job Rick"

"Well, I got lucky with her, she more or less raised me," he said as his eyes sparkled with pride.

"Well, she told me you would say that, and in some ways, she said it was true, but she also told me to ask where you two were at every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and holiday? Yeah, Rick, she told me you didn't just talk about charity and helping others less fortunate, you showed her with your actions when you started to take her to the soup kitchens to help as a young girl"

"She told you that? I mean when we first started to go, she always hated it, wanted to know what the big deal was. When she was about 14, I think she found a scrapbook my Mother was keeping, she saw the living conditions we had weren't exactly the style she's always enjoyed.

"She asked a lot of questions, and I did what I always have done, told her the truth. Some months we ate one meal a day when Mother was between jobs, we slept on friend's sofa's, I was made fun of in school, even though I was a scholarship kid, the others knew I didn't fit in. I think that's when I started using humor as a defense, I still do today." He looked down, and this time it was Beth who reached over and took his hand,

"You know what I think, I think that made Alexis even more proud of you. It's easy when you come from wealth to be successful, but to work your way from the very bottom, well then you know it was the talent that got you where you're at." She squeezed his hand, and when he looked into her eyes, she had that sparkle in them, like she was proud as well.

"Well, I bounced from school to school, I first thought I wanted to be a race car driver, one of Mother's many boyfriends, but then I was at the library and some man handed me Casino Royale. When I had finished it, I knew without a doubt what I wanted to be, a writer. I started and I was bad, well bad wasn't the word, I was horrible" he smiled as Beth giggled,

"What turned things around for you Rick, what made you this world-famous author I feel so comfortable with sitting holding hands with as we sit in a fancy restaurant?"

"A friend, well he's an entirely different story I will tell you about on our next date, eh that is I mean"

"Of course, our next date, I would love to go out again, even if It will be in England, I'll host it next time, so tell me what happened" she leaned in and kissed him ever so gently and lovingly

He smiled, "Well Damian Westlake was the editor of the school newspaper, he took an interest in me after I submitted some work, it was awful when it came to news standards, but he encouraged me to write longer features, possibly even a book. He took the time to give me tips and pointers, and then **In a Hail of Bullets **was published, and well, I went nuts, spending money like it was water"

"Was that after you received the Nom DePlume Society's prestigious Tom Straw Award for Mystery Literature? Rick, I've followed you for years, and yes, my Mom is your number one fangirl, but I guess I'm number two. I even told Gina I had a posture on my wall of you when I was younger"

"You know Beth, not many people even know about the award, much less that I was lucky enough to receive it while I was still in college, so thank you. You truly are a fan, and now my partner as we kick ass for Lord B."

"I love the fact that you always treat me as your equal, I heard you tell your Mother about the gluten-free doughnut at the hospital Rick, I didn't mind, but you defending me, well it made me feel well even more close to you.

"Look, I know that Kate broke your heart in a million pieces, I understand, but if you give me a chance, at whatever speed you want to take it, I'll do my best to make your heart want to sing love songs again. I'm not asking for anything, but please, please tell me if you find someone else.

"I mean, I don't have that right and I've tried to take it slowly, but I want you to hear it from me, I think I'm in love with you, so before this gets messy, if you don't feel anything for me, I'll ask Lord Barrow to arrange a replacement once we get back"

Rick leaned over and kissed her, "Do you mind if we skip the dancing, I just want to be alone with you tonight"

"Ready anytime you are, and that's exactly what I want"

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted.**

**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**

**Previously **

"_**I'm sorry, this is tough timing, but I heard another lie after you promised you would always be truthful to me. Well, I want you to get well, then we'll see how you feel emotionally, right now, I think you're looking for another long-distance, I don't have to invest much in a relationship, and Kate, that's not me. With me in London, you would be sure I wouldn't crowd you, or ask you to stop doing the thing that put you in that hospital bed, almost a grave beside your Mom."**_

"_**Rick, please, I do love you, you have to believe me."**_

"_**Kate, I DO believe YOU believe that work on it with your therapist and see if he agrees. I'm sorry if you need something you know how to reach me, and yes, it's through Beth. I know she has feelings, deep feelings for me, but you see, she would do anything to make me happy, anything. **_

"_**I'm not there, not yet, but Kate, take a look at your life, what chasing this man has done, to you, your Dad, how much more will it take for you to see, it's not worth it, and I'm sorry, I really don't think your Mom would want you to live like this. Once again, I stuck my nose in your business, so before I say more to piss you off, get well soon, Kate, I do love you, but not enough to be second in your life. Goodbye"**_

*****************************************************************************/**

**Chapter 21**

**Thursday, Day after Visit to Kate Beckett**

**11:30 PM Castle's Loft**

Rick and Beth returned to the Loft, after a lovely dinner, and almost two hours of conversation without interruptions, for the first time in a long time, Rick felt a peace come into his life. Gina had started the process, but being with Beth, the feeling was almost like, it was meant to be, and everything was right with the world.

They had a drink while sitting on the couch, both were nervous, but that wore off quickly when Beth took his hand stood up and started towards the bedroom.

"Rick, if you don't want this, or if it's too early, I can wait, but I can't tell you how long it's been since I have wanted a man as much as I want you right now. Please take it slow, I haven't been with anyone since my divorce, I know that sounds awful, but I wanted the next time to be special."

"You don't believe everything you saw on page six do you, it's been a while for me as well. I know everyone assumes Gina and I were back, I love her, but we both agreed the physical part would just make both our future lives cloudier, so no, I*"

Her lips were on his and there was no doubt of the source of this kiss, it was passionate, and led to many, many more. Rick worshiped her body, she trembled as she reached heights, she never knew possible and after the third round had discovered a few techniques that would drive Rick crazy as well. She lay in his arms, content, happy, not thinking about anything more than the last few hours with him.

"Sweetie, I hate to ask now, but well, does, I mean, eh,"

"Go ahead and ask Rick, there's not much of me you haven't seen, or know, but if you're asking about Lord Barrow and his feelings about this, I can tell you he will be thrilled."

"Really, I mean there are so many laws here in the states about sexual harassment,"

"Well if anyone would get sacked for breaking a rule, it would be me, remember I'm the employee, you're under contract so their rules don't apply to you, and Lord B told before I met you for me to swallow my pride. if you wanted ladies of the evening, order them and don't get all puffed up about it. He wants you to be happy, and write a series of bestsellers"

"You're kidding, right? You would have had to order, eh well that's ridiculous, I mean"

"You mean you never wanted that, I knew that I caught a few glances, Rick, I wanted you for so long. Gina even told me to be patient, not to push as she had, give you your space and when it happened it would be an explosion. God, I owe her so much, she was spot on, and I promise, this is the last time another woman's name will be mentioned when I'm lying next to you, I just had to tell you,"

Rick wrapped his arm around her, pulled her on top of him, and stared into her eyes,

"Did you ever notice that I never would lock eyes with you? I knew if I did, I was a goner, I love how I can get lost, just staring into your beautiful eyes,"

She leaned down kissed him gently, one kiss led to another, and the rest of the evening was spent satisfying each other. Beth felt like she had never felt before, even if the words weren't said, she knew he cared deeply for her and that was enough, enough for now.

Xx

The next day, Alexis and Gina arrived promptly at one, after notifying Beth that they were on their way, and they had ordered brunch to be delivered. Beth and Rick greeted them at the door, and Gina, knew, by the glow on her face, they had moved to the next level. It was difficult, but not unexpected, so she apparently was what Rick had been looking for, or at least the one he wanted to explore the possibility with.

The time went by so quickly, and the night even quicker, a 6:30 AM Flight meant being at the airport at 4:30 AM, so they didn't bother to go to bed, choosing to sleep on the plane instead of risking oversleeping. Gina caught Beth in a private moment, and whispered to her,

"Congratulations, please don't hurt him, he tries to look tough but he's a softie. Please take care of him, for me, and Alexis" she had tears in her eyes,

"I will Gina I promise you I will, you know I love him, you've known that for months now, so I'm sorry you are hurt, it wasn't our intention, how did you know?"

"You are glowing, you're absolutely beautiful, it's the glow of a woman who's in love with a man that has finally noticed her, and started to reciprocate her feelings, no apologies needed. Please just take care of him"

"I will, I promise."

The goodbyes were longer and harder for everyone, but they finally got out of the loft and on the way to the limo, leaving two women with tears in their eyes holding on to each other. It was great coming home but leaving them was indeed Hell.

Xx

**Mercy Hospital**

**4 Weeks later**

Kate had finally progressed enough to be allowed to be discharged from the hospital to a rehab facility in upstate New York earlier in the week. It was a quiet day, she had told no one, except her Dad, she wanted to get settled in and then let the gang at the precinct know what was going on. She also had been doubling down on courses now that she literally had nothing to do but rehab and study, it was still a secret from all except her Dad that she was pursuing her law degree.

Two days before she was discharged, she had a visit from her College Counselor with good news, using her life experience, and police force service was able to shave a few courses off the required list. If she stayed at her studies part-time, she would graduate in 18 months. If for some reason she could attend full time, the time would be reduced to 10 months and then after successfully passing the bar exam, she would be admitted to the New York Bar Association.

She would also have to clerk for a judge for a year, but the plan was coming together, now that Rick had moved on, she realized there were more ways to honor her Mother than the road she had traveled, causing her heartache, and now almost getting her killed. If they could get to her, they could also get to those she loved.

She was motivated to get back to 100% but this time, she was really struggling with career path she should take, until she saw a newsflash come across the TV in her room. It was a familiar face speaking so she turned the volume up to hear Jordan Shaw speaking.

"We were following a lead, when subsequent investigations kept pointing to the Senator, we had no choice but to follow every lead to the path of corruption. It was so significant that today, along with Senator Bracken, we announce the arrest of twenty-four other individuals, including Captain Victoria Gates, head of the 12th precinct where Detective Katherine Beckett works. This group is responsible for the attempted murder of Detective Beckett, and the murder of her mother, an attorney working on an appeals case, Johanna Beckett, 16 years earlier.

"Unfortunately, Detective Beckett was wounded while attending her previous Captain Roy Montgomery's funeral, but her father has filed a multi-million-dollar civil lawsuit on her and her deceased mother's behalf. It is our hope that we not only bring Senator Bracken to justice but also make him pay restitution for just some of the pain and suffering he has caused. We know that no amount of money could ever replace a loved one, but it is our hope that he suffered as he has made others, to him it is a loss of his wealth.

"I have had some questions as to where the lead originated from, as you all know we never disclose our sources, but I can say this, it came from a very credible source, one who had worked with both Captain Montgomery and Detective Beckett and would not let their loss go unpunished. Other than that, we will not release any additional information and urge the press to be careful what is published or broadcasted, you could be endangering life with reckless speculation. Thank You" as she stepped away from the podium

Kate lowered her head, almost in disbelief, it was over they had solved the case, her Mother's case without her. Tears fell until she looked up to see her Dad standing in the doorway.

"Hey Katie, feel like some company, it's over sweetie, Mom has gotten her justice, now we need you to get well and back to us."

She fell into her Dad's arms and wept, "I failed her Dad, I couldn't solve it for all those years, and the Feds solve it in a matter of weeks, I let her down Dad"

"Rick called me and told me you would react this way, I thought you would be happy, but he told me that you would blame yourself for not solving it earlier. He knows you better than I do, but you didn't fail her Katie, you didn't.

"Rick told me he received a package in London, it was from Roy, he got it to Jordan Shaw, who was able to put that file together with the intel they had and that's why the Senator is in jail if you hadn't been shot it would still be unsolved. Now you have to work hard, to show the Bastard at his trial that he may knock you down, but he'll never stop you."

"Rick called you? When?"

"Two days ago, they were getting ready to make the arrests and wanted to be sure you and I were in safe locations in case anything went wrong, he couldn't get to us."

"But how did he know Dad, I mean he's not a cop, and this was far above Mayor Weldon's wheelhouse, how did he know?"

"Katie, he also told me you would figure it out pretty quickly, no more questions OK, please, for his safety as well as yours, just think who did Roy trust with information such as this, and how did it make it to the one Agent you both worked with?"

She knew he had a thing for Agent Shaw, but she was married, wait, her husband, of course, Rick knew her husband, he slipped once and asked her how Tom was, no one knew his name then, they knew each other from long before she showed up for the case. I guess he can keep his mouth shut when it's important, she thought.

Xx

_**1649 Highway A-309**_

_**London, England, SW1W0NZ**_

_**United Kingdom**_

**Same Time Frame**

Rick and Beth had returned to the UK in a totally different world, one with love and appreciation for each other, gone was the will he, should she? She laid her head on his shoulder as he held her hand almost the entire flight back to England. He loved the willingness of his, girlfriend, whatever tittle you wanted to place on it, she didn't care nor did he, to express her affection for him. For the first time in a long time, he was happy, truly happy.

The first thing they did when they arrived home was move Beth's room to Rick's, no more pretense, no more having someone so close yet so far away. Rick had a conversation with Lord Barrow, so there were no surprises, he didn't know what to expect,

The older man laughed and said, "What took you so long, we were beginning to worry, she's a lovely lady, a lovely human so be good to each other and as long as there are no workplace arguments, I'm fine with it, in fact, I'm happy for you both."

They were returning to face the first big test of his acceptance of the James Bond writer, it was a gamble by Lord Barrow to announce publicly who was the ghostwriter but with Rick's global appeal of his own works, a gamble he was willing to take.

The first few weeks back proved the decision to be the correct one, Rick had started being recognized in public, asked for autographs as both Rick Castle and Sir Ian Fleming. Rick politely refused to sign anything as Ian Fleming, he still held that reverence he had since he was a young boy. The British public were more polite than he was used to, they seemed to understand and if anything, his popularity grew even more by keeping one of their treasured icons sacred.

The only possible hiccup came when Rick had to take a personal and confidential call from Agent Shaw, from the United States. He thought for sure Beth would be upset, but she kissed him sweetly,

"Rick, I know you had a life before me, I know that part didn't end the moment we decided to get together, so go, take care of what you have to do, I'm fine. Besides, she can't touch you on the phone this far away, and I have a feeling it's something to do with Kate, so help if you can, I'll be right here."

Rick looked at her with the love in his eyes, she felt warm all over, "I'll be right back, I promise. You're right, Agent Shaw has news about her shooting, hopefully, they caught the bastard." As he kissed her back, she held his hand, and said "Rick?"

"Yes, Beth?"

"You know it's OK to still love her some, don't you? I mean she held your heart for a few years, you can't just turn that off like a light switch. I mean by love her, I mean it's OK to care and to help her, but no touching," she smiled,

Rick looks at her with a smile on his face, "Thanks Beth, I would never do anything to hurt you, so thanks for being so understanding." He kissed her gently, but it was she that turned it into a long, passionate one,

"I know Rick, and that's why it so easy to say that. I know my happiness is your first priority in everything, I don't say it often enough but I love you,"

Xx

Rick and Jordan discussed the evidence, it was Rick's idea to get Jim and Kate out of New York City, just in case the word got out and someone decided to go down in a blaze. He then called Jim, and let him know that he needed to follow the instructions that Agent Shaw was going to give him to the letter. Also, to get Kate out of the vicinity,

"No problem, Rick, she's checked into The Grove, it's a rehab center near our cabin in upstate New York, and we anticipated something like this so she's using her middle name as her last, so Katherine Houghton is the patient they have. I know you can't say anything, but thank you, Son, I know you have had a lot to do with this, so Thanks."

"I didn't do anything Jim, but I hope she heals up quickly and finds joy in her life, at least this nightmare will soon be over for you both."

"Rick, come and see us, I mean if your lady doesn't mind, I would love to tell you thanks in person the next trip back"

"I'll try Jim and Beth has no problem, she's the one that encouraged me to call you, so take care, and keep safe, call me if you need anything"

As Kate was watching the news from her room, so were Rick and Beth, cuddled together in bed, his big arm pulling her close to him, and her drinking in his aroma.

"I'm glad it's over for them Rick, did you know the Captain that got killed?"

"He was a very good friend, better than I ever had before, and I miss him. He's the reason this case is solved, but the nightmare is over, and now it's time for them to move on,"

"Have you yet Rick? I mean I know you have with me, but have you let go of the hurt yet? Remember she screwed up, we all do, so forgive her, for me, for yourself, please?"

He looked down and he was a goner, there were those eyes,

"I will Beth, I promise I will"

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted.**

**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**

**Previously **

_**Rick looked at her with the love in his eyes, she felt warm all over, "I'll be right back, I promise. You're right, Agent Shaw has news about her shooting, hopefully, they caught the bastard." As he kissed her back, she held his hand, and said "Rick?"**_

"_**Yes, Beth?"**_

"_**You know it's OK to still love her some, don't you? I mean she held your heart for a few years, you can't just turn that off like a light switch. I mean by love her, I mean it's OK to care and to help her, but no touching," she smiled,**_

_**Rick looked at her with a smile on his face, "Thanks Beth, I would never do anything to hurt you, so thanks for being so understanding." He kissed her gently, but it was she that turned it into a long, passionate one,**_

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**Chapter 22**

_**NYPD 12**__**th**__** Precinct**_

_**New York,**_

**ONE YEAR LATER**

Kate had rehabbed and returned to the department just in time to take over the Captain's position. She had scored high on the exam when she had taken it over a year ago, on a fluke, never expecting the turn of events that had occurred to open the door for her. Things had certainly changed since her shooting and the loss of Roy.

She was nearing the twenty-year mark of her career, and now had less than a year left of her law degree. She had already worked out the clerking duties and would be able to take the Bar Exam as soon as she graduated if she cared to. She remained as private about her life as she always had been, Lanie suspected something but could never get enough wine in her to spill the story.

Kate planned on retiring with the twenty years, the new position certainly provided the income increase and retirement benefit, even taking it at twenty years combined with her inheritance, she would never worry about money. She wasn't sure what specialty in Law she wanted to practice, but she was sure she never wanted to be a criminal defense attorney, not after twenty years of seeing the best and mostly the worst of the law profession.

Lanie had met someone who wasn't afraid of commitment as Javi was, needless to say, the relationship grew quickly, much to the disdain of Esposito. Even when he was given an ultimatum, he stubbornly stood by his position of no commitment. He lost Lanie who married the Research Scientist and was now expecting her first child in a few months.

Esposito had retired, taking his twenty years pension and moving to a small town outside of Miami. He accepted the position of Police Chief's job for Hallandale Beach Florida, a small town where he could try to forget New York while working on his new past time, MMA or Mixed Martial Arts. His macho attitude remained in tack even if his heart had been broken.

Lanie remained a close friend to both Rick and Kate, which now also included Beth in the circle of friends. Rick would be coming to New York soon for the Book Launch of the final Heat book, the other two had been released between the second and third Bond books Rick had written which were huge global successes. Gina was overwhelmed with the success of the Heat series, everyone had been aware of Rick's separation from NYPD for well over a year, it hadn't mattered they had to go to press for additional copies from the initial order.

Rick and Beth had been in New York for the abbreviated tour last year, but Kate had been out of town and missed the two-day window of his signings. She had received her pre-production copy as always for both books, he signed a personal message to her, in each novel.

She loved Rising Heat, it was full of the promise, innuendo, and banter that had once been her and Rick. When she received Exploding Heat, she cried for a week, it was the mark of things to come, she knew it, and as Rick had pointed out in the book, a silly attraction to another Detective had ruined everything.

She had received, Hell, admit it, she had perused the web site daily until she received news of the final Heat book, guaranteed to be a sellout, and demanded an extended tour. Gina had issued a statement that when the book was released, the tour schedule would be announced, and they were visiting as many cities as possible.

One week later the title was released and Kate's heart fell, Extinguished Heat, or meaning the fire was gone. Somehow, she felt a connection to him, as long as he had been writing about them, but this was the final book, the final time she would have the excuse to see or talk to him, not that he even remembered she was alive. He and Beth had been together over a year, although no official announcement had been made, the press had started calling her the next Mrs. Castle.

She was happy that he was doing well, the Bond books were the hottest thing on the market, knocking Patterson of the best selling list in both London and New York, something he grumbled about on a late-night talk show, "the guys' fucking dead, and he still kicks my ass, Castle picked a hell of a time to get serious about writing, I just bought the new house", he laughed. Kate wondered how much was true and how much was to gig his old friend.

Kevin and Jenny had gotten married, she was able to attend the wedding but not the reception, where Rick and Beth made a surprise visit, so perhaps it was for the best. She wasn't back to work when the wedding was held, but received special permission to attend, then come right back to the rehab facility. She saw the pictures, and later the video, Beth looked as lovely as always, and Rick, well the smiles weren't faked, she knew her old partner and he was happy. She had blown it, but at least he had found happiness, she was glad for that.

Kevin was now a Lieutenant, and she knew she would soon lose him to another precinct, since 4 Captains were retiring within the next 18 months, not counting her, which no one knew of. She would love to see him stick it out at the 12th to succeed her, but she didn't dare open her mouth, the secret had been so well kept so far.

Xx

_**1649 Highway A-309**_

_**London, England, SW1W0NZ**_

_**United Kingdom**_

**Two Months Later**

The day had finally arrived, this was it, the final Heat Book, the series was over and so was a time in his life, filled with a lot of good memories scattered throughout a world of hurt. He wouldn't trade what he and Beth had for anything in the world, but he also was glad he got to experience.

The book launch was being held Saturday in New York, to a sell-out crowd, and he would be in the US for 6 weeks for an extended tour, the tour for the UK would follow once he and Beth returned from a two week holiday when the hell did he start referring to vacation as holiday, he smiled to himself as he saw her, as beautiful as always.

"Well, any mixed feelings Rick, I mean you could write more Heat books if you want, at least you didn't kill one of them off," she laughed,

"Ha, Ha, how was I to know that Derrick Storm was your favorite when I offed him in the book, besides, you have me, you don't need Derrick or anyone else" he smiled,

She took his face brought it down to hers, and kissed him, "And don't think for one minute I don't count my blessings every day, I love you, Richard Castle"

"I love you too, Beth, more than you know" He held her close, just her in his arms made his heart flutter,

"I know Sweetheart, I know, believe me. You talk in your sleep," She smiled,

"You're smiling, that means I say the right things, or do I?"

"If you asking if you mention Kate, at first you did, but it's been months, now its Sweetie, or Bethanie, where the heck you got that I have no idea," she laughed

He smiled and took her in his arms, "it's time to leave, and I'm glad you're coming with me, I know it's going to be hell once the tour starts."

"I'm right here Rick, as long as you need me, I'll be right here, I promise"

Xx

The flight from London to JFK was smooth, and it was Rick who fell asleep as Beth kissed his forehead gently, and held his hand. He had looked forward and dreaded this tour for months, she knew why, even if he wouldn't talk about it. He still would never hurt anyone, yet he knew that Kate would be hurt, somehow, that the end was finally on paper. From what Gina had told her, it was an accurate account of Kate's activities in real life that had broken his heart.

He captured the emotions so well, she even cried, knowing it was fiction, she still cried for Kate, and for Rick for having to go through that without her there for him. It shed a lot of light of why Rick was so skittish about love when they first met, she knew he was attracted to her, but wondered why the hell wasn't he asking her out for a cup of tea, or coffee, or something, what was wrong with her?

They approached the loft to see a familiar face there to greet them, Gina had picked Alexis up a few days earlier and was at the loft to open it and be sure it was ready for use. No one came there much, now that Martha had passed, it was more or less just kept for convenience when they had to come to the states.

Gina and Alexis were in the lobby, and the moment she saw her Dad the little girl she fought so hard to keep hidden ran and jumped into her Dad's arms.

"Hi Dad, so glad you and Beth are home. How was the flight?"

"Hi Sweetie, well, you'll have to ask Beth, I'm afraid I crashed and slept for most of the way, she made me feel so comfortable I was out like a light"

"He's been keeping really long hours between both books, and writing, I'm not surprised he crashed, he needs some more sleep," Beth said sweetly, as she kissed his cheek, then hugged Alexis and Gina.

"Come on Dad, let's get you upstairs, we have pizza and burgers from Remy's in the warmer, then you can take a long nap," His little girl was taking charge, Gina and Beth both noticed just how much more mature she was, it wouldn't be long until Rick would lose her to another man, but no one dared mention that,

Xx

The next few days flew by, connecting with old acquaintances. Bob Weldon, who now was a private citizen, his wife Mary, Lanie and her new husband along with Kevin, Jenny, Gina, and her new beau Rich Risotto joined them for a welcome home party, on Friday. Gina looked happy, which made Rick and Beth happy throughout their meeting she had always kept it professional, and Beth would never forget her for the encouragement to take it slowly.

Paula showed up about an hour into the party, bringing advance copies of the book for each who hadn't received theirs. Rick took a few minutes to sign each, the gesture really touched Kevin,

"You don't know how much you're missed Rick, not a day goes by without someone saying what would Castle say, or what would he do?"

"You mean you guys are that hard up for entertainment, you have to remember my stunts, Thanks Kev, I appreciate your thoughts, but it was a good time but it was time to leave, for everyone."

"Don't think we don't know what you did to solve Roy and Beckett's shooting, we know what the hell went on, and well Thanks Man, I know it took a lot, after the way you were treated."

"Hey, Kevin, Kate and I are good, we talked, all is forgiven, and frankly buddy, I really don't want to talk about her, it's not fair to Beth who put up with me for a long time feeling she was in the shadows, no more, OK? I hope she's happy, but really not my problem, I got a full plate now, and I want to get through this last tour, then close the book on Nikki Heat, and the 12th. A lot of great memories go with me, I've tried to forget the bad, speaking of, how's Espo?"

"Oh you noticed eh, I mean Lanie tried, gave him every chance but the fool wanted to be single, said marriage was for wimps like me, well the day she got married he cried like a baby, and then as soon as his twenty years was in, gave his notice and moved to a small town in Florida to be Police Chief."

"Sounds like Espo, he always was a slow learner, Police Chief? How the hell did he go from Detective to Chief?"

"Rick, there's him and one more full-time cop, plus three-part timers, he thinks none of us know, but it soothed his ego, you know Javi"

As they were talking Jenny walked up and joined her husband, "Javi was a good guy, just dumb as a rock sometimes, thinking he could pull something over someone. Which by the way Rick, when did you find out about Kev and my difficult pregnancy, how did you get us in to see Doctor Sharpe so fast, and why couldn't we even pay for the parking? Thank you" as she hugged him and the tears started to fall,

"Jenny, I have no idea of what you're talking about, really,"

"Oh, so Doctor Sharpe isn't a friend of yours, she just has personal notes from you from college all over her office,"

"OK, OK it really wasn't that big of a deal Jenny, why should you suffer when all it took was the treatment I knew, Sandra had, by the way, how is Sara Grace?"

"She's fine, perfectly normal which they said would have caused a more difficult delivery if my symptoms weren't treated so thank you," this time she leaned in and kissed his cheek,

"I can't leave you for a minute, and you've convinced the pretty lady to kiss you, what am I going to do with you, Rick?" Beth giggled from behind him as she wrapped her arms around him, as he turned, he kissed her as they always did. To those friends who hadn't seen it before, it was proof, this was the lady in Rick's life,

The party broke up around 10:30 since Rick had a full schedule the next day, meetings with Gina, the lawyer, then the book launch party kicked off at 6:00 PM at the Waldorf Astoria, Rick's good luck launch site.

Xx

Kate had seen the posters, including the photoshopped photos of her and Rick together pushing the book launch Saturday. She had received the pre-production copy, and Rick wrote something nice, generic, but nice, they even included two tickets to the launch, so why did she feel so slighted? She had heard about the party, Jenny accidentally mentioned it, and although she understood, it hurt, Rick had a party to celebrate a book about them, and she wasn't invited to the party?

Then she thought, hell why should she have been invited, she wasn't in his life, hadn't been for over a year, she had spoken to him once when she and Lanie ran into him, so why did she even think she should have been invited. He was with Beth, and knowing Rick, wouldn't want to appear to rub her nose in the fact that she fucked up.

She was over him, no really, she was, Like Hell she was. She had been on 5 dates, all disasters since he left. Even Doctor Burke had grown tired of how did he put it, "Kate you whine about your situation, but you fail to put in the effort to change your mindset, so until you do, I cannot help you." Hell, that was a low spot, getting rejected by her therapist.

She decided if this may be her last time to see Rick, she needed to say Goodbye, and accept he was gone. She read the dedication to her books again, he had written more emotional messages to her mother when she was alive, so she decided, she would go. She didn't have to stay, just show up thank him for the help in the case, her Mom's Scholarship fund, they had awarded the first one a few weeks ago, and to say goodbye.

She finally realized her next big goal was to pass the bar exam later this year and start a new career, away from memories. She could do this, he wouldn't know, to him she would be happy just as happy as he was. Now all she had to do was pull off an academy award performance in 7 hours.

TBC


	23. Chapter 23

**A Long Way Home**

**by Castlefan6 **

**Authors Note: Another What If based on the episode, COUNTDOWN, what happened if Rick didn't return to the precinct after leaving after seeing Kate in Josh's arms? It starts with Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. The journey continues with a new Kate and Rick, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create. **

**A/N This may or may not end up as a Caskett fic, if that bothers you, please wait for updates to see which direction the story goes. Respectful comments are always welcome, trolls will be deleted.**

**Also, we may take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.**

**Previously **

_**She was over him, no really, she was, Like Hell she was. She had been on 5 dates, all disasters since he left. Even Doctor Burke had grown tired of how did he put it, "Kate you whine about your situation, but you fail to put in the effort to change your mindset, so until you do, I cannot help you." Hell, that was a low spot, getting rejected by her therapist.**_

_**She decided if this may be her last time to see Rick, she needed to say Goodbye, and accept he was gone. She read the dedication to her books again, he had written more emotional messages to her mother when she was alive, so she decided, she would go. She didn't have to stay, just show up thank him for the help in the case, her Mom's Scholarship fund, they had awarded the first one a few weeks ago, and to say goodbye. **_

_**She finally realized her next big goal was to pass the bar exam later this year and start a new career, away from memories. She could do this, he wouldn't know, to him she would be happy just as happy as he was. Now all she had to do was pull off an academy award performance in 7 hours.**_

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**Chapter 23**

**New York**

**4 Years Later**

Rick was in New York now, had it really been 3 years since he had moved to England, and a full year since he returned to the States?

**FLASHBACK 3 YEARS BEFORE**

Gosh, time marches on for everyone. He and Beth were now living totally separate lives, she had waited patiently for these years for him to make the next move, it never came and even when she urged him to attend counseling sessions with her, he refused. He didn't need a shrink to tell him why he wasn't getting married, he was still in love with someone else. She knew in her heart he would never commit, never be totally hers, so she took the action and moved on and out of his life.

He had completed the Bond series, then an additional five more books making him as he used to call it Patterson wealthy, even though he split the revenue with Beth for the last five books, exactly in half. He felt guilty that she had wasted 3 years of her life waiting, God, he knew what that was like, and the guilt was immense.

They had to appear in court in London since they had purchased real property together in both names, Rick was signing over his share without contesting, yet the court still had to approve. He saw her for the first time in about 3 months at court, and she looked as beautiful as ever, but he didn't want to marry for the sake of marriage. She was actually the sweetest person in the world, even thru the split, they were both still very much concerned about how the others feelings.

When asked if he had any final words to say, Rick apologized to her and thanked her for believing in him when only a few others had at the time.

"_Beth, please, believe me, I do love you, more than almost anyone, but to enter a marriage where I take a vow to put you above all others would be a lie, something we both promised each other to never do. I don't have to say any names, you know, but I want you to also know that these years have been some of the best of my life, and I owe that to you. I know you probably hate me, and you have that right, but should you ever need anything, please reach out, if not to me to the extended family that still loves and cares about you." He was almost in tears when he concluded,_

The judge then turned to Beth and asked her if she would like to respond,

She nodded her head yes, cleared her throat, and then began,

"_Rick, I don't hate you, I never could, and in some ways, people will think I am crazy but I want to thank you for giving me the best years of my life. I know you won't lie, we both promised that the first day we became a couple, and I know this is hurting you to have to end our relationship. I would rather leave you with love and a kiss, even after this time, than to have spent 25 years in marriage with you to find your heart was never truly mine. That would be the ultimate betrayal, and I thank you for having the courage not to subject me to that, even knowing what it would cost us as we end our relationship today._

"_One of our friends told me that this had been a waste of time, all the time we spent together, all of the career goals that I have been able to achieve, now replacing the man Lord Barrow who hired me to be an Administrative Assistant to you what seems to be so many years ago. It's because of you, your love, and your encouragement that I hold that position as Managing Editor of Fox Run Publishing, and because of you, I will never stop believing in eternal love. I may not have found it with you, but Rick, _you weren't a waste of time. Part of a country song, yes, you changed my taste to include American Country Music has a verse that says:

_**If you don't need me when you get lonely  
If you don't want me, to call your own  
If all this hoping, just leaves me hurting  
You still would be the sweetest waste of time**_

_I think those words sum up how my feelings are today, and I want you to know I to am here should you ever need me for anything, I wish you all the best Rick, I hope you find what you and I both know you need,"_

The judge was silent for a moment, then said "without further comment, the court has decreed that the deeds to all common property are now transferred to Elizabeth Smithers and that through this decree all claims, present, and future by Richard Rogers, AKA Richard Castle or his heirs would be invalid," a final smack of the gavel and it was over. Years of hope for Beth, for trying to fall as deeply in love with the woman who loved him for Rick, but in the end, he couldn't live a lie.

As they were preparing to leave the courtroom Beth took Rick's hand.

"Hey, it's OK, remember I never wanted to live a lie, and you promised that we wouldn't. Thanks for having the courage to keep that promise."

"Well, it's not easy to walk away from you, from all that has made me feel happy for the last three years, but Beth, I want you to know, I tried, I really did. Even though she's married and is living her life in America without me, it wasn't fair to you. I'm sorry, I truly am." Tears came to his eyes,

"Hey, it's OK, I'll be fine, remember, I was the one who pushed, even though Gina warned me, I still did, and I guess I knew it would end like this. I'm sorry to Rick, I do love you, and I wish you happiness, go find her Rick," a quick kiss on his cheek then she was gone

**PRESENT DAY**

One of the first things Rick did when he returned to the states was to sell the Loft, far too many memories, as well as all of the real estate within New York City. He was staying at the Four Seasons in between trips to the Hamptons. Rick was still entertaining the idea of selling the Haunt, Bryan had wanted to buy the bar for years. He had been managing it for the last 5 years for him, so he had always promised him the first chance, he was still wrestling with the idea when he received a call from Lanie.

"Hey Writer Man, it's good to hear your voice again, are you home for good now?"

"Yes, Lanie I am, although haven't quite figured out quite where my home will be yet, I sold the Loft and the Hamptons isn't the best place to be with Winter coming on.

"How are you doing, I understand you're back at work and another little one on the way, so how's life for you."

"Really, it's been good, don't get me wrong, I mean we fight from time to time, but I know what people say when they say they met their soul mate, I know I have mine."

"That's great Lanie, I'm happy for you, you deserve it, and I promise I will get around to meet the family before they are in college" he laughed,

"You better, oh and Rick, how are you? Don't bullshit me, I can still smack you, even in my condition"

He laughed, thinking of a very pregnant Lanie taking a swing at him, "Well I'm good, not great but good. Beth and I parted on good terms, she made it easy, but I wasn't ready for the next step and she was"

"Speaking of, and I know you may not want to hear this Rick, but Kate's single again, her marriage lasted 5 months before she had it annulled, don't know any of the details but she's a lawyer now. The only way I found that out was when I saw her at her Dad's funeral last year."

"I'm sorry to hear about Jim, he was a great guy, Kate is a Lawyer? Back to her first love, good for her, I'm just glad the whole Bracken mess is over for her sake"

"Rick, Kevin is the Captain now, and asked me if we could all get together at the Haunt this Saturday? The way the last several years have gone, it would be good to reconnect once again, God only knows what this year could bring."

"Yeah Lanie, that would be great, I'll call Bryan and have him reserve the section for say 6:00 PM?"

"Yeah, that would be great, even though you're getting off cheap, now that I can't drink, but I'll make you pay some other time."

"It's a deal, Lanie, oh, do you mind if I invite Gina and Rich, her husband, I think they would like to see you all again as well."

"Hey it's your Bar, your tab, I'd love to see them, so yes please invite them.

"Great, I'll see you guys Saturday"

Xx

Rick had an appointment with a real estate agent to discuss a home in upstate New York, and a vacation home in North Carolina, that was very close to the office of Fox Run Publishing, and Gina. He decided rather than invite her over the phone, he would stop by.

She saw him the moment he walked in the door, and made a beeline to him, grabbing him in a huge hug, then kissing him quickly on the lips

"How are you Rick, Gosh I thought I would have heard from you before now, I mean it's been almost a year since, well, eh, you left England" she finally got out.

"I'm fine, Gina, actually I'm good, not great but good. I know you work with Beth, so you know the story, hey I'm sorry it didn't work out, I still love her, I'm just"

"Not in love with her the way you have been with Kate for years, I understand Rick, and strangely, so does Beth."

"She's doing well Rick, she's happy and I think she's seeing someone steady now, not that you care"

"I care, Gina, I want her to be happy, she's like you, much too sweet to be alone in this world, you have far too much to give, how is your other half doing."

Gina's face pales, and her stomach twisted as if she were going to be ill,

"You don't know Rick? I know you've been traveling with Alexis and her husband for a few months, and keeping yourself busy, but Ritchie was killed 5 months ago in an accident. He was riding his bike back from the Hamptons, and a truck went left of center and hit him head-on, he never felt a thing he was gone on impact."

"Oh Gina, I'm so sorry, I feel like an ass, why didn't you call me, I mean I was back in the states, I could have been here in a day if you needed support,"

"Rick, you know Ritchie had two sons when we met, well they're men now, Bobby is 21, and Kenny is 25 so, they took care of me, I was blessed to get two swell kids, who are now young men. They even think of me as Mom G, so I was blessed, plus Alexis called and wanted to know what you or they could do. I didn't want to cloud things, I mean," she started laughing

"Gina are you OK, what's funny?"

"I was just imagining Alexis writing a note for Shane to be excused from school so he could travel with his Mom and Dad and his Papa to attend the funeral of Alexis's Mom, who is really her step-mom, or her Dad's ex-wife's new husband and how that would have sounded to school officials"

When she had finished, Rick was laughing along with her, he held her close and then said, "I'm really sorry Gina, I would have been here if you needed me, you know that, right?"

"I know Rick, and I love you for it, but I think Ritchie's family may have had issues with my ex-husband being here. Our marriage may have been short, but it was a great marriage, and he left me very well off, and happy. I'm glad we never started back up, that was a question he asked right before he proposed, and I think that had we gone the friends, or in our case ex-spouses with benefits it would have haunted him."

"I'm glad to Gina, although you still look pretty hot" as she smacked him on the arm,

"You and I both know that only one woman will ever satisfy that hunger inside of you, but getting off that topic, what are you doing here anyway."

"Well, we're having a little get together at the Haunt on Saturday, Lanie, Kevin and folks from the precinct I haven't seen, and wanted to know if you would come. I'm close to closing on a home in Jericho NY, and my realtor is right down the street so I thought I would invite you in person."

"That's really sweet Rick, to include me after all this time, but I have a date on Saturday," she sees Rick's puzzled look,

"I'm babysitting my grandson so Kenny and his wife can have a weekend away, it's rare I get to spend two whole days with Garret, so when they ask, I always say yes. Thanks for the invite, but even as ruggedly handsome as you still are, I'm going with my baby face killer" she laughed,

Rick smiled, "You look happy Gina, I'm sorry about Ritchie, but I'm very glad your boys have grown to love you as Alexis did, you're a hell of a Mom, and looks like you're starting off the same way as a Grandmother. Wow, Gina who would have thought you would ever be a Grandmother, but look at you, hot as hell, Granny" and he ducked as she threw a manuscript at him and laughed.

He hugged her, in a long friendly type of hug, I love you but not the sexual type of hug, and it felt good for him to hold her again. "Thanks, Rick, I needed that, and I need you in my life as a friend, I'm still pulling for you with Kate, just don't be an Ass if you see her again. Time softens wounds for us all," She kissed his cheek and he left,

Xx

**Saturday 5:30 PM**

**Old Haunt New York**

Rick arrived early to ensure the corner of the parking lot was reserved for his guests, Brian had already beaten him to it, just solidifying the fact that he cared as much as Rick about the building and its history. He had taken great care of it over the last several years, keeping the building original as much as possible. As he thought, it truly had been a very long way home for him, but the site of the Haunt and promise of old friends made him feel young again.

At 6:10 PM Rick felt two arms go around him from behind, he turned and there was Roz Karpowski, just as lovely, and built as she ever was. The only thing changed was her shyness as she grabbed him in a lip lock and furnished plenty of tongue, his body automatically reciprocated, and Roz held him tighter, finally breaking when she was out of air.

"Damn Rick, I never knew you kissed that way, I would have attacked you years ago" she laughed,

He felt a tap on the shoulder, and then once again a beautiful and more mature Ann Hastings had copied Roz's move, but her tongue action was telling one story, ready when you are, again, they broke and she leaned back, "It's great to see you, Rick, you've been missed by so many of us" then she settled for a kiss on the lips as the growl of Lanie could be heard behind her.

"Don't be giving me none of that tongue, you got that straight writer man, I'm a married lady, with children, "

Rick was laughing as he pulled Lanie in for a long hug, whispering "it's great to see you again, I missed you guys."

Next behind Lanie was Jenny looking as beautiful as always, and then Kevin, and then he almost fainted, he gasped loud enough for those close to him to hear,

_**"Hello Rick, it's been a long time, I hope you don't mind me being here,"**_ Kate said, looking more beautiful than she ever had.

He pulled her into a hug, for the longest time, both whispering in the other's ear, their friends thought that neither would let the other go, finally, she pulled back and kissed him, then whispered, _**"Yes, I do, I always have and I always will love you"**_

**The End**

**A/N Letting the reader come to their final ending or open to a sequel, for the Caskett Shippers it was a stretch to get the two back together, but I hope you enjoy my take on how things may have gone. Also for the reviewers, both those published, respectful comments though thinking I had lost my mind, and to those who agreed with the ending, the story was completed two weeks ago, I appreciate the passion the fandom still has, for Caskett and our show. I heard from a lot of you, some were published as reviews others, well I still thank those who sent flame mails, or told me how they would end the story, it proved you care and you were reading. To all, thanks for reading, and reviewing.**


End file.
